Magnus Academy: The Cursed Blood

Part 1: Chapter 100

Beneath The Growing Night

"Do you...do you really love him?" Biglang tanong ni Alvin matapos ang ilang oras na katahimikan.

It was a question I couldn't answer quickly.

He saw us, specifically, he was looking for me after I disappeared due to Iyana's space kaya hinanap niya ako sa may gubat, then he saw us kissing. Hindi ko na matandaan ang nangyari matapos nun, because before I was even aware of it, Alvin was already dragging me away from him. Nagagalit siya, hindi ko alam kung bakit. But I don't particularly feel anything from that kiss. I could still feel his lips against mine, it was soft and tender, but as expected...it didn't last long, that feeling.

My heart was racing, his words brought me happiness, but after that kiss...my control over my emotions returned, and just like that, all those feelings disappeared like they never been felt. I forgot how it felt, even though it happened only two hours ago.

Why did I do that? Why did I feel something like that? It's strange. Nung oras na nakokontrol ko na ang mga emosyon ko, bigla nalang ito nawala. I knew it, emotions such as those won't last long, they are fleeting and fake. It wasn't real. Dahil kung totoo ito, bakit hindi ako masaya ngayon? Bakit ko ito pinagsisisihan? At higit sa lahat, bakit bigla nalang itong nawawala? All those embarrassment, warmth, and anticipation...I forgot how they felt like.

No, the problem isn't the emotions, it's me. I wasn't trying to deny that I love him, at that moment, I definitely felt love, I felt happiness. Minahal ko nga siya pero, dahil sa ability ko, unti-unti na talagang nawawala ang nga emosyon ko. The more I feel emotions, the less I will have. It's because they are automatically generated into energy that even my own emotions turns into energy. Ibig lang sabihin nun ay minahal ko nga siya pero natapos din ito.

The question is, why is it happening now? Is it because sobra sobra ang naramdaman ko that my body automatically generated it into energy? Bakit ngayon ko lang ito napansin? It's not how I control my emotions, it's how they slowly disappear. It's scary when I think about it, without having any emotions, I wonder what'll happen to me. Would it convenience me? Or perhaps it I'd feel completely nothing that I won't even know if it would bring me convenience or not.

"I did." Was all I replied to him after a long silence.

Naglalakad kami ngayong dalawa papunta sa base nila kung saan sila nag-transfer two days ago. Alvin used one of his remaining transportation ball to transfer us out of that place. I was grateful he did, pero alam ko ding ginagawa niya yun dahil ayaw niya lang makita kaming dalawang ganoon. Bakit kaya? And no one still know how their former base was found out, but they never suspected me just because Robert trusts that I wasn't the kind of person.

"Did? Are you saying that was how your relationship ended?" He asked, hoping that would be the case.

"That wasn't the case Alvin." He looked away then. "Because in the first place, there was never a relationship. That was our beginning, and that was also our end." I think I know why I'm regretting that memory. It's because I never get to feel something like that again.

"Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko maintindihan ang mga sinasabi mo. Wala kayong relasyon pero..kayong dalawa...kanina..tapos minahal mo siya pero hindi na ngayon?" Why is he even asking me this?

"Alvin, my emotions are fading away." I stated the fact. I won't keep it a secret, but it's better if no one asks about it. Nagulat yata siya sa sinabi ko at napatigil sa paglalakad. I had to stop my feet and looked back at him.

"So that's why you said you did fell in love, only at that moment you did, but then that feeling faded into nothing." Malungkot niyang wika. I'm glad he understood it only from that.