Ricch Vibes

Toxic

Roddy pov

It was 4 o clock in the fucking morning and Dee's phone kept on fucking ringing waking me up out my sleep. Who the fuck was texting her this late?

I got up and turned on the lamp and reached over and grabbed her phone taking it out the charger only to see a couple of text messages she had with multiple niggas on WhatsApp.

I scrunched up my face scrolling up to see that they had some text messages in French. She don't even speak French? And I saw that there was some voice messages too. I put my headphones on and listened to one but I couldn't understand shit cause it was in some foreign African language.

I copied and pasted some of the French messages on google translate and was heated. Some African nigga was tryna spit game calling her an African princess and was telling her how much he missed her. He even sent a picture of her name tattooed on his arm.

"What the fuck?" I questioned out loud

"Dee wake up" I said shaking her

"Dee wake the fuck up" I said smacking her ass hard as fuck but I ain't mean to do it that hard

"OWW" she screamed jumping up and rubbing the spot

"Who the fuck is this" I said facing the screen towards her

"Ouch ouch ouucchhhh" she said as tears fell from her eyes.

"Dee suck that shit up and answer my fucking question" I said trying to control my anger

"MOOVVVEE" she screamed aggravating the fuck out of me.

"Dee" I said as I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to control my anger

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" She yelled pushing me and hitting me on my chest

"DEE IM NOT FUCKING PLAYING WITH YOU" I yelled frustrated as fuck

"I swear to fucking God if you don't tell me who the FUCK this is in the next 60 seconds ima spazz the fuck out" I said

"I'm not telling you shit leave me alone" she said getting up but she fell back down cause her legs was still weak from a couple of hours ago

"Ohhhh my God" she cried. She didn't even try to pick herself back up.

"So you been cheating? The fact that you had the audacity to question my loyalty when you wasn't loyal yourself is so ducking crazy to me" I said walking over to her

"Get the fuck up" I said grabbing her and placing her on the bed.

"I didn't cheat and you're immature as fuck for going through my phone. If you feel the need to check my phone then you never trusted me in the first place."

"You sound stupid as fuck yo phone was going off non stop cause these African niggas was blowing up yo phone with heart eyes and smirk emojis. I'd be a fool to ignore that shit" I told her

"Those 2 are my cousins and they don't even know the definition of those emojis" she said

"What about the one who tattooed yo name on him and the one that keep calling you princess Dee" I said

"I met them through my cousins and we became friends. That tattoo is a henna tattoo so it's temporary" she said and glanced at her

"You expect me to believe that friend bullshit?" I said and she rolled her eyes

"It's not bullshit. I don't take what they say seriously and I made it clear that we are just friends" she said

"That's some green as shit cause if some bitch was to text me some shit like that you'd be tripping. It's all cool tho keep the same energy" I said turning off the light.

"They are all the way in Africa and while I was there they didn't put no moves on me or anything like that cause they know where our relationship stand. You texting some random broad is disrespectful because you don't have pure intentions" she said

"Well I don't give a fuck"

"Try some shit like that and you gon be single" she said and I busted out laughing

"I guess I'm single" I said

"I swear your so immature and I hate you and if I could I'd take back everything I gave you because your so fucking toxic Roddy. You don't say stuff like that to the people you love" she cried and I just sighed cause now I felt bad. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me but I kept on saying the wrong shit to her. I knew for a fact I loved her but it was hard to get rid of old habits. I was so good at pushing people away that hurtful shit just rolled out my tongue and I didn't even have to think about it.

"I'm sorry come here" I said grabbing her

"I'm working on me. I didn't mean it" I said rubbing her back as she layed on top of me.

"You keep saying that. You need therapy Roddy so you can fully control your emotions because you can't keep treating me like this cause I'm honestly getting tired of it. I love you but I won't allow you to mistreat me with your words" she said and I nodded

" I'm sorry. I'll work on it" I said as she sniffled

"Stop crying" I said cause it was making me feel bad

"I c-can't" she said making me feel worse

"I'ma make it up to you ok?" I said as I continued to rub her back and I could tell she was getting sleepy

"Mhm" she said before falling asleep and I tried to go back to sleep too but I couldn't.

I slowly got out the bed and looked in my bag for some weed and a blunt to roll it in. I went in the kitchen and ate one of the weed brownies that Nomi made before rolling up and hitting the blunt. I just chilled in the living room and fell asleep on the couch cause I didn't wanna go back to the room cause I didn't wanna wake up her peaceful sleeping.

I was in such a deep thought that I didn't even notice that tears was falling from my eyes. I just had a lot to think about I lost so many people I lost count I was so broken inside and it was affecting the way I treated the people I loved. Going to therapy was prolly a good idea but what I needed most was to vent out my pain and my struggles into this rap shit. I felt like that was my therapy I just needed to take it seriously. I wasn't even gon write shit down I was just gon let the words flow out my mouth so that I'd know that it was authentic.
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You gotta acknowledge the problem before you solve it so that's growth

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