Liberty Calling

Chapter 19

The silhouette of Mother was imposing in the front window of our home. The night had been dark for quite some time, and I dreaded facing her. I opened the door slowly, and she came storming into the entry. Her face was contorted in a mixture of concern and anger, and in a strange way, it was relieving to see. She'd been so devoid of emotion the past months, I'd begun to worry that I had lost her.

"Emmeline, where have you been?" she demanded, wrapping a shawl around me. I could hardly think how to answer her. As the truth fought its way to my mouth, my teeth clenched and kept it from escaping.

I searched frantically for what to say, and at last blurted, "I only went for a walk, but it turned into more of an adventure than I'd intended. I came across Ruth Earle near the harbor, and we got talking for a while. I've hardly seen her since our days in etiquette school. I completely lost track of time, and the evening snuck up on me. So in the darkness, I became disoriented and got lost. But I'm here now."

She led me to sit beside the fire in the front parlor, and clicked her tongue as I finished my story. "For heaven's sake, child. You'll catch your death if you keep running off past dark."

"I know, Mother. I'm sorry."

The shadow of Levi passed through my side view,  and I turned to find him leaning against the entry to the room. "You found her," he said, his eyes fixed firmly on me.

My heart thudded heavily, and I wondered for a moment if it would stop altogether. I thought I'd been successful in calming my mind during my walk, but in an instant, I was back to where I had started, and an anger steamed in the bottom of my stomach.

"I got lost," I said, looking away from him. I hoped he could hear the coolness in my tone. "I'm just fine. Now if both of you are done fretting over nothing, I'm tired and would like to retire."

It took everything within me not to look at my brother as I walked past him, and infinitely more to keep from bursting into tears before reaching my room.

---

I woke, gasping, my heart racing as though I'd been running for quite some time. I could not remember dreaming, and yet I felt as though I'd been trapped in a nightmare. Sunlight dripped into the room, and fell directly on my face, making me blink.

The realities of the day before crashed upon me, and I sat with a start. Months earlier, in a dark and damp ship deck, I had promised a young man destined for death that I would decide on my beliefs, and fight for them. And I had failed miserably.

"So what now?" I whispered, gripping onto the edge of my bed.

The answer came surprisingly easy- I could not make this decision on my own. I could not determine what was truth without approaching both sides of the argument. And immediately, I knew I needed to speak with James.

I hurried down the stairs after dressing, and started on my way to the front door, but Mother called for me from the dining room. I sighed, and turned with a cringe.

"Good morning, Mother," I said, entering the dining room to find her eating breakfast. She ate alone, and I wondered where Levi was.

"Where are you running off to?"

I wasn't about to tell her that I was going to James's apartment. She already had a small annoyance with him and the last thing I wanted was to help that escalate into a full disdain. So, I imagined the one person who I could always trust to cover my tracks when needed. "I want to visit Charity." I wondered for a moment if Charity knew about Levi, or if he were lying to her too. Did he think of the consequences that would befall her, as his wife, if he were found out?