Liberty Calling

Chapter 40

For months, I woke every day expecting to hear that Lieutenant Alcock's body had been found. Sometimes it would happen in my dreams, that soldiers would come and arrest me, telling me they knew of what happened that winter night hidden deep in the woods of New York. I swore I saw Alcock's face, or his orange hair hidden everywhere amongst crowds in the streets. And oh, the nights were terrible. If I was not up worrying about when they would find the body, I was suffocated by unshakable guilt. My intentions did not matter, nor how necessary it had been...we took another man's life and I did not think I could ever forgive myself for it. The worrying never ended, but they never did find Lieutenant Alcock. Even as the snow and ice melted away and the ground softened, his disappearance was never explained. My family was interrogated of course, but only once, and for a very brief time. After that, I never again heard the name of Lieutenant Philip Alcock. Mother believed he deserted. She said he was such an odd fellow that it must have been the case. I only nodded passively and asked to speak of something else.

Perhaps even more strangely, Elias's room still had not been filled with another soldier. A British Corporal came to collect Alcock's things one summer afternoon, but after that, we heard not a word. I was glad for it, and once again my brother's room was his own.

Seth was moved further north, though he did not say where. I'm sure he knew I watched the stories printed in the papers more closely than ever, and perhaps thought that by keeping his location a mystery, it would ease my anxiety. He was wrong of course. His letters came a little slower, for the distance they had to travel, and I would lie to say I was not missing him terribly as his time away stretched on. But even so, with every letter, I was grateful that he was safe. He was involved in some small battles, though nothing of great consequence or casualty. I was grateful beyond measure he was not moved to the southern colonies where most of the fighting seemed to be that year.

As the summer grew warmer, the streets began to smell of rotting fish and waste. The press, as it always was, was a sanctuary and smelled beautifully of ink and new paper. I glanced over the headlines from a newspaper, hung upside down on a drying line. I did almost every day, looking for news of battles and praying they stayed in the south. But then, Father was in South Carolina, so I did not know what I wanted.

"And if we do win?" James asked in a rather harsh tone from across the room. "Tell me who will really gain their rights. Will women? Will Emmeline ever have the right to own land or receive a loan from the bank?" He motioned in my direction with a bit of exasperation and I turned with a raised brow.

"Oh no, do not bring me into this."

"But it is about you, Em!" He turned back to Richard and shrugged. "And what of the slaves, Richard?"

Richard sighed heavily, as he did when he could not find the correct size of type, or when his shoe became unbuckled. "All I am saying is that I trust those men who are now in our Congress, and as they decide, so will I support."

James's eyes flashed with determination and I couldn't help but chuckle a little beneath my breath. This argument was far from over. When these two got going, it was a battle in and of itself.

"I trust them as well. They are the ones who declared our independence, who took action and got all this started. But I think we need to have all opinions represented. Men of wealth, and men of humble means. Men who know what it is to toil, and men who have nothing to lose."

"But are those men of little means well educated? Because I find that to be rare, and I'd rather that our government be led by those who have received their education and are well informed in the going ons of the world."

James's eyes grew wide, and he threw his arms in the air with a huff. "That is not independence, Richard! That is merely the freedom to oppress whom you desire! That leaves us right where we were, and all that's changed is the flag that flies from our doors!"