Double Crossbow (Daryl Dixon) [The Walking Dead]

Chapter 66 ↣ How was I?

"I am often asked what made me the way I am. And my answer is always this: I've always been me. It just took awhile to find me under all the rubble."

— Alfa Holden, Abandoned Breaths

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Daryl

I DISTRACTED MYSELF from the pit forming in my stomach by telling Carol about the night I had last seen Beth. The further we got from the group, the harder it became. I glanced at the dash and frowned. "Tank's runnin' low."

"We can end this quick. Just run him off the road," Carol said.

I looked again at the dash. "Nah, we're good for a bit."

"If they're holding her somewhere, we can get it out of the driver."

"Yeah, but if he don't talk, we're back to square one. Right now we got the advantage. We'll see who they are. If they're a group, see what they can do. And then we'll do what we gotta do to get her back."

"They're heading North. I-85."

The pit grew a little deeper. After everything, we were heading right back to where it all began. Atlanta.

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"What's this place?" I asked looking around at the small room. For Carol to know exactly where this was in the dark, it must've meant something to her.

"It's temporary housing," she replied.

I turned my flashlight to the desk and a book titled Treating Survivors of Childhood Abuse stared back at me. I scowled, and it only deepened as I read the sub-title: Psychotherapy for the Interrupted Life. Interrupted. That was an awful nice way of putting it. I wonder what the good doctors would call this chapter of life. "You came here?"

"We didn't stay," she said quickly. Then after a moment, "I'll take the top bunk. I think that one's more your style."

I chuckled as I glanced at the lacy pink comforter that covered the bottom bunk.

"You should sleep," Carol said, approaching the window. "I'll take first watch."

"This is locked up pretty tight."

"I know."

"Then we're good, then."

She turned back towards me. "I'll keep first watch. I don't mind."

"Suit yourself." I set down my bow before sitting down on the bunk.

I slowly looked around the small space, my eyes lingering on the bed posts. The last time I had slept in a bed was in the prison.

"She'll understand," Carol said.

I met her eyes. I couldn't be that transparent. "Who?"

"Kathryn, of course. This isn't like before."

Or maybe I was. I shrugged, not wanting to talk about that time.

"You said we get to start over," Carol began again. "Did you?"

I thought about the person I had been the last time I was in Atlanta. I had a long way to go still, but he seemed very different to me. "I'm tryin'." I looked at Carol and knew there was more. "Why don't you say what's really on your mind?"

She was quiet for a moment, then said, "I don't think we get to save people anymore."

I frowned. "Then why are you here?"