New beginnings - Part 34

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"Honey, wake up." Mrs Jeong whispered as she gently shook your shoulder, "You've been sleeping in that awkward position for too long, I'm afraid you're going to strain your back."

You looked up at the older ladies wrinkled and forlorn visage. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you sat up and looked around the hospital suite. Suddenly, you noticed a pain in your side. You gasped in agony and realised that Mrs Jeong had been right.

You had been sleeping with your head and arms resting on Jaehyun's bed, hoping to get as close to him as possible. You weren't sure how long you had been in that position for or how many hours had passed, the days had merged and blurred together like some terrible dream you couldn't awake from. You looked up into Mrs Jeong's eyes, she smiled down at you, noticing your dazed and lost expression.

"Y/N you've been at the hospital for almost three whole days now..." she said, seemingly reading your mind. With her slender fingers she tucked behind your ear a stray strand of hair, her touch felt warm and intimate, "Don't you think it's time to go home and get cleaned up? You'll wear yourself out at this rate. Go home, have a shower, eat a proper meal if you can."

"B-but Mr Jeong went home already, who will take care of Jaehyun?" you said in a pitifully weak tone.

"I'll be here honey, don't you worry. And Mr Jeong is applying for some personal time off work at the university. He will be with Jaehyun a lot more now."

You nodded your head in understanding, right now words failed you and your mind was prone to blanking out.

"I don't want to leave him." you mumbled into the air, you looked up for a moment at Jaehyun's pale white hand. Deep blue veins ran across the back of his hand and over his knuckles, the blank surface was abruptly interrupted by the cold metal of a needle lodged into one of his veins, covered with cotton gauze so as not to alarm the beholder.

Mrs Jeong put a hand on your shoulder, "I sense the desperation in you. But you must understand that your staying here isn't going to help Jaehyun recover. You're going to make yourself tired and sick, so please go home for now. I'll call you if I need anything or if there is a change to his condition."

Reluctantly, you took the older ladies advice. You took a sip of your water, feeling the cold drink quenching your persistent thirst and headed out of the hospital room to the car park. Getting into your car felt like stepping into another world, suddenly you were hyper aware of your surroundings and your situation.

Tears began welling at your eyes as you reversed out of the parking spot and headed towards the exit. Silently, you prayed. Prayed for Jaehyun, prayed that he would wake up and be able to hold you in his arms again. Selfishly, you also prayed for yourself.

Mark's chilling words echoed in the depths of your thoughts, "The ball is in your court."

When you got home you knew exactly what you needed to do. You took the navy blue envelope from the nightstand where you had left it, along with Mark's letter and set a flame to the flimsy pieces of paper.

You watched with a sense of satisfaction as the flames bit at the paper, turning it brown at the edges before consuming all of its mass, leaving nothing behind but mere ashes.

This was your final act of defiance. It was you, decidedly turning to a new chapter of your life, one where Mark no longer existed. It was you letting go of the past, of all the bitter sweet memories and regrets. There was something, rather someone more important to think about now. Your mind was set and your heart firm, you belonged in this city. You couldn't give up your relationship with Jaehyun, not now or ever, even though the idea of starting afresh in Vancouver with Mark was a tempting, you knew it wouldn't be the right one to make.

The next morning you woke up feeling sick to your stomach. The nausea was so bad that as you got up to go to the bathroom you threw up. But since you had barely eaten anything the day before very little came up.

Your skin grew cold as the unthinkable crossed your mind. 

Were you pregnant?

Without a moment to hesitate, you unlocked your phone and checked your calendar. This week had been so hectic, with hosting, Christmas preparations and Jaehyun's sudden crash that you hadn't realised you had missed your period.

"Shit!" you exclaimed, the sound of your voice reverberated against the tiled bathroom walls.

You had missed your period exactly 2 weeks ago.

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