The Boy Who Sleeps On My Bedroom Floor

The Boy Who Sleeps on my Bedroom Floor- Part 23

My darling Richard,

Let me start this letter by telling you, once more and in a way that can last forever, that I love you. I love you and Emi more than life itself and that is the reason it was so hard to go. Leaving you two is the hardest thing I will ever do, as well as the last. Enclosed with this letter, is a letter for Emi- don't read it. Maybe she'll let you read it herself but for now, just give it to her. Her letter is the last piece of me that she can cherish, as is yours.

I understand that my funeral (wow, it still feels so strange saying that) will, by no means, be a private affair. It's strange to think that when I'm gone, people will still be interested in me. Don't worry too much about the press and fans, darling, because as selfish and vain as it sounds I like the thought of those who have supported me throughout my career and life being there.

These days, all I seem to do is think. I think about the present. I worry about how Emi is coping, I worry about how you're coping and I worry about how I am coping. I think about the past. I remember and cherish the times we have had together. Do you remember our first vacation together? It was so awkward! I woke at six thirty every morning to make sure that when you awoke that I was looking my best- I brushed and did my hair; I put on naturalist make up; brushed my teeth. I convinced myself that you wouldn't realise, but then on the last day you asked me how my mouth tasted like mint first thing in the morning. I was so embarrassed but you just pulled me back down on to the bed and laughed with me. You told me I was beautiful just the way I was and didn't need to primp myself first thing in the morning because you looked at me when I was sleeping anyway.

Do you still think I'm beautiful?

But mostly, I think about the future. I think about everything I'm going to miss. All the birthdays, parties, dinners- it's the little things that matter the most. I won't be there to see Emi turn eighteen, to see her off to college, to help her choose her wedding dress, to help her choose the names of her children. I won't see you walk her down the aisle. I won't get to meet my grandchildren.

I don't want you to forget me and I know you won't, darling, but I want you to do whatever you have to, to make yourself happy. That's all that matters now- that you're happy and that Emi's happy. I want you to move on, to fall in love again, to have all the things that we had together, all over again. And I don't want you to be held back by me. I love you. You'll have my love forever but I won't be here. Don't feel guilty. Don't let me hold you back, Richard.

Love now and love always,

Your Eva.

Until we meet again.

 

AN: Mini upload to tide you over until I upload tomorrow night! I know it's super short but I will upload a proper chappy tomorrow night. Yes, the next few chapters are going to be a little bit sad but I cannot just make grief disappear- Emi has lost her mother. However, I can say that in just a few chapters, it will start to lighten up again. And it will be sweet. Like, verging on toothache sweet because I love, love, love, writing me some Emi/Luke fluff (as you know). In fact, I'm thinking there may even be some singing involved. Hmmm... I'll leave you to ponder that.

Love y'all like I love Disney films. (OHMYWIZARDGOD YOU GUYZZZ, SAW TANGLED THE OTHER DAY. IT WAS EPIC. I CRIED.)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo