The Wolf and the Raven

Ch 12 - Christmas and Its Aftermath

When Remus awoke, his first thought was that he felt different – better. Better than all the other nights, all the other mornings-after. Then the crinkle of a candy wrapper beneath his fingers reminded him. He'd had a visitor, one who didn't care what he was, one who said she wanted to help him.

A feeling like a heavy stone grew in his stomach though. He could never speak to her about it again, never acknowledge what she knew to be true. To do so would risk exposing himself to more people. He knew that, even if he may be able to trust Branwen, it was no guarantee that he could trust anyone else.

As a result, the next few days were awkward between the two friends. Remus avoided Branwen, lest she ask any embarrassing questions or, worse, showed any pity. She tried to understand this and gave her friend the space to open up when or if he wanted.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas eased things a bit.

The day didn't so much dawn as turn from black to grey to white. Still, the residents of Gryffindor tower were in high spirits. The Hogwarts house elves had gone all out for the students who stayed for the holiday. Festoons of holly and mistletoe graced the mantle and bedposts. An enormous tree stood in one corner, draped with shimmering paper chains, fairy lights (real fairies trapped in glass jars), and bulbs that exploded into glittering confetti at random.

Presents flowed out from beneath the tree like water from a spring. The vast majority were from the Potters. There were individual gifts for James and Branwen (a broom polishing kit and a handsome new set of quills and parchment) and Sirius and Remus received their own sets of Sleekeazy's hair care products. Then there were the goodies. Chocolate cauldrons, chocolate frogs, Bertie's Beans, licorice wands, pumpkin pasties....there was enough to keep even four healthy pre-teen appetites satisfied for a week.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin made their contributions as well. A tin of Hope Lupin's homemade chocolate chip cookies were oven-fresh, thanks to her husband's preserving charms. She had knit scarves for each of the children as well, in Gryffindor red and gold.

Sirius unwrapped the only present from the Blacks. It was a copy of Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy. He promptly tossed it into the fire and his friends laughed and dug out some marshmallows to roast over the growing flames.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter and the other students returned a few days later, and classes resumed not long after. The professors wasted no time in assigning essay after essay, leaving the group little time to socialise or plan their usual pranks. Nevertheless, Remus continued to ignore Branwen.

It was never obvious, never in ways that their friends would notice. Sirius didn't say anything when Remus sat beside him at the breakfast table instead of Branwen. James thought nothing of Remus bringing his homework to the Quidditch pitch rather than his usual corner of the library. Only Peter remarked on the idea that Remus had knocked Severus Snape's cauldron over on purpose, earning himself a detention on their only free night of the week.

Despite her initial determination to give Remus some room, Branwen grew increasingly frustrated with his cold behaviour. With the next full moon quickly approaching and no sign that Remus would address the subject on his own, she she decided to make a move.

It was a Sunday evening and Remus, finished with his homework as usual, was reading in a plush sofa in the common room. The other boys had gone to bed, exhausted by their last ditch efforts at their own homework. Branwen sat curled up in an armchair with The Two Towers in her hands. It was clear they were waiting each other out. Neither wanted to be the first to leave, but neither wanted to be the first to speak.

The common room emptied out slowly. Branwen fought back a yawn, while Remus still seemed wide awake. It was one of the many things about her friend that made much more sense after her revelation. He was always the last to go to sleep, last to wake up in the morning. It seemed that the moon was like his sun.

Eventually she nestled her bookmark between the pages and approached. Remus didn't look up until she was seated beside him on the sofa. She reached over and pried his fingers from Great Expectations. They were quite alone by now, but still she whispered. "How did it happen?"

"I thought you did your research," he scoffed. "You know exactly how it happens."

She smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be such a moron. You know what I mean. How did it happen to you?"

He gave a tight smile, then turned his gaze to the softly crackling flames in the fireplace. "I was five. Well, almost. My dad worked for the ministry and they brought in this guy, Fenrir Greyback," he trembled as he spoke the name. "Greyback was wanted in connection to the deaths – the slaughters – of two Muggle children. My father knew he was guilty, knew what he was, but the Ministry let him go." His voice was so low, it was as if he was speaking to himself. Branwen was silent.

"When he was released, the first thing he did was find my dad. Find us. My father fought him off, but it....it was too late. You see, children are his speciality. He thinks if he can turn them young, they'll grow up to be like him – monsters.

"After that, my parents had no choice but to keep me in hiding. They homeschooled me. Moved us from town to town every time someone got suspicious.

"When Dumbledore came to our house with my Hogwarts letter it was like....it was like someone opening the window, letting sunlight into the darkness."

There was a pause before Branwen whispered. "Does it hurt?"

"Transforming?" he raised a brow. "Only about a hundred times worse than dying."

"I'm coming with you." Branwen looked shocked at her own statement, but she rushed on before she could change her mind. "Next time, next moon, I'm coming with you. To help."

"No!" Remus jumped up and shouted. Branwen flinched back in her seat. "You don't get it, do you? You think I'm some sort of – of freak! Like an animal in the zoo. The problem is, there aren't any bars on this cage. I'd kill you soon as look at you!"

"Then do it! Kill me now, instead of waiting!" She jumped up and shouted back, chin jutting out defiantly.

Remus' fingers curled and uncurled in fists; the firelight threw angry red shadows on his face.

"That's what I thought. And I'm not going to be there to gawk at you, I'm going to be there to help you. I saw what you looked liked last time Remus. It's not going to happen again. I won't let it." She crossed her arms.

He let out a low growl; it was like nothing she had heard before. For the first time, she saw the wolf in him. "R-Remus," her head was still raised defiantly, but she had begun to tremble, "y-you know me. I – I'm going to come with you w-whether you like it or not."

Remus growled once more, then grabbed a small stone bust of a lion from a nearby table and flung it into the fireplace. It cracked and shattered into the spluttering flames. He shot her a final, withering glare, then ran up the stairs to his dorm.

Branwen moved as if in a trance. She trudged up the steps to her dorm.

"Bran?" Alice blinked when her room-mate opened the door, a shaft of light falling across her face. "Everything all right?"

"Yes. Fine." Branwen didn't undress, but threw herself beneath the covers, closed the curtains around her bed as hard as she could, and cried herself to sleep.