✔ WHEN FISH FLY (OpenNovellaContest2021)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟

Staring at the screen, I debate what to do next.

Chief - I have learned the identity of one of the Flamma Lorem - her legal name is Amber Garcia. Her twin is the other Flamma Lorem. I have also learned the identity of the Caeli Lorem - her legal name is Hera Collins.

I can't do this.

But I have to.

Closing my eyes, I try to press the button, but I stop.

If all three girls are taken, won't it be quite suspicious? I won't be able to get the names of the rest of the girls. I should only send in one then - I decide - especially after the way chief reacted last time.

Deleting the last two sentences I stare once again at the screen, biting my lip as I feel near my finger to the send button. Closing my eyes, I press it.

After being shown their faces, being told their names, I hadn't dared take my own mask off in fear of my actions being written all over my face. My eyes showed enough - Ember caught the fear, the disdain in them - so instead I hugged them, a silent goodbye they would probably not understand until they were gone, and as usual, I would not go looking for them.

We spent a couple of hours talking but after a while I couldn't stand knowing I was going to break their trust so I excused myself, claiming I had to go and work. I took the long way home, my eyes unfocused as I walked through the old buildings, the stone houses falling to bits after so many years of disrepair - just like my heart, pieces of it tearing apart, each step another part splitting off before leaving me with a hollow hole, the pain almost unbearable. On the other hand, the agony in my chest meant the ache in my legs didn't torment me as much as before so the walk hadn't been too bad.

Once home, I did everything I could to not send the message. But after a shower, cooking dinner and watching some television I didn't have any excuse.

So here I am now, wrapped in my mum's blanket curled up under the bed covers, tears trailing down my cheeks as I try to sleep. I know nightmares are going to cloud my slumber, the image of horror on my parents face as they slowly fell morphing into those of Eagle and the rest of the members of Lilac Royalty, but it is better to be asleep than awake.

~~~~~

Chief didn't answer my message yesterday, but based on previous experiences, I know she must have told her own superiors about my discovery. The news report I see once I have turned on the television doesn't surprise me, a photo of Amber in her Lilac Royalty uniform flashing across the screen as a woman's voice speaks.

"-member of Lilac Royalty, a group of heroes who have been sighted quite often these past couple of months, has now been taken into custody after a video of her walking into an alley and appearing moments later dressed in the known spandex outfit of the group has surfaced. It is still unknown how-" I turn the television off, not wanting to hear anything else.

Once the police department knows the name of a vigilante they make sure to find a way to frame them so that they can bring them into custody without admitting they have a group of young adults running around the city as undercover agents - most of us with minimal training.

I shouldn't have sent the message.

Regret fills me as I imagine what Amber is going through, where she might be by now. If she was lucky she might have made it to the underground bunker before the police found her, although taking into account they have a video of her my guess is that they wouldn't leave her side, so maybe it's best if she hadn't gone to hide with Diamond, Eagle and Hemlock.

I can feel the tears behind my eyes as I debate what to do - Either go and see how everyone is, risking they find out it is my fault, or stay here and wait for one of them to show themselves.

I want to stay here. I want to curl up in bed and never leave, cry myself to sleep and stay in the nightmares - at least they aren't real, at least I can wake up from them. But I need to go down there, even if it means lying, scheming against the people I care about.

I should never have gotten so close to them.

Getting dressed in Lilac Royalty's iconic outfit makes me feel like a fraud. How could I even do this to them?

"Vigilantes aren't good," I mutter trying to convince myself to drop the regret, to become the person I was months ago, the one who didn't care about them, who only saw them as law-breakers. But I am not that girl anymore. In fact, I could almost say I am the opposite. 

"Vigilantes aren't good," I repeat.

Clasping the purple mask, I stare at it. I'm not worthy of putting it on, of walking out this building and consoling my new friends. Because of me one of them is now in prison.

I shouldn't have done it.

But I did.

"Vigilantes aren't good," I say again, my new mantra possibly the only thing keeping me from breaking down.

Shaking my head I try to forget the message I sent, focusing on the feeling of fear for my friend, of worry. I need to get my act together, and although I hate to do it, I also need to finish this mission before it consumes me.

Walking out of my apartment, I lock the door and head towards the window next to the stairs. I purposely chose this apartment because of its lack of windows - but they are the quickest way down. Opening the glass panel I step on the ledge and look up towards the water tanks above me, my mind pulling a stream of water down as I extend my hand and wait for it to reach me.

The quickest way down might also be the deadliest, but at this point feeling a little bit of physical pain isn't going to break me the same way as seeing the team I have learnt to love heartbroken.

Before I jump, I repeat myself one more time, a tear sliding down my cheek as I finally stare down at the busy streets below me. 

"Vigilantes aren't good,".

They aren't good for the heart.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN WORD COUNT: 1107

I cried writing this. I don't know why, because honestly, I feel like I have written more emotional scenes before, but her heartbreak, the need to finish her job putting her friends on the line... I don't know, it made me sad. Let me know if there is something I should have done to express her feelings, I seem to be a bit stuck in my own at the moment.

Question: Do you believe in love at first sight? 

I have no clue what to believe. In my experience, you can FALL for someone with just the sight of them, but I think it's talking to them, getting to know their personality, their likes and dislikes, quirks and so on that make you actually LOVE someone. I don't know, I mean, maybe what they sell in books and movies can come true?