She wants me back, but do I want the same?
I tried to move on with my life. It's been weeks since the thing happened. I'm in the verge of accepting that I'm single. And yet, Katie bugs me to get back to her. I don't know if I want that as well. I'm too scared to get hurt all over again. I know that I said I love her to extent that I almost forget myself. But now that I realize it, I don't think I'll allow anyone in my life just yet. 4 years of relationship with Katie taught me something. And that's to love yourself more than your other half. The problem with me before is that I loved Katie more than I love myself. That I'm blinded by it that whatever bad thing she did, I'm still willing to forgive her and take her back.
"Jack, time to eat". Ma called.
"Not that hungry ma". I replied.
"You haven't eaten since breakfast". She said.
"I'm just not that hungry". I replied.
Ma rushed to my side and felt my forehead if I have fever. I almost rolled my eyes. I'm really not that hungry. Maybe I'm still in the moment of denying stuff. I know that I'm still trying my best to move on with my life. But it's just too hard.
"Okay. I know that you're not sick. But please eat this". She said as she place the plate with food in front of me.
I eyes the food. It looks delicious. Trust my mum to cook something great. I took my spoon and tried the food. It really is delicious. After 10 minutes, I finished it. Maybe I was hungry after all. Ma smiled at my empty plate as she removed it from the table. I went to my room and do some school work (I've been really late with these stuff).
'Jack, talk to me'.
'I miss you'.
'I still love you babe'.
'Please come back to me'.
These were some of Katie's messages in my phone. I never answer it. I just let it keep coming over and over.
She just kept on telling me to come back to her. I don't want that. I've been stupid enough. I won't be like that anymore.
I went back downstairs and found my mum in the sitting room, watching T.V. drama of sorts. I sat by her side and snuggled by her arm. She looks back at me as if asking what do I want? But she remained silent.
I just felt so confused right now. With all these stuff that's going on between me and Katie. I needed this a a good break from all of these.
I continue snuggling in her arms, until she decides to break the silence.
"Why act so baby right now?". She asked.
"Nothing. I just wanna act like a baby. I'm still your baby right?". I replied.
"Yes my dear little Jack". She cooed and pinch my cheeks.
I continue snuggling her. Feeling the comfort that she gives me. Like how she does when I'm hurt or if I'm not in my right mood.
"You have a problem right now don't yah?". She asked.
"Uh... I guess so...". I replied.
"Do you wanna talk about it?". She asked.
"It's not a problem, really. I'm just confused". I explained.
"Confused about what?". She asked.
"Katie wants me back with her". I replied.
"What's confusing about that?". She asked.
"I don't know if I want the same". I replied.
"Do you Katie back?". She asked.
"Well at first... Yes. But after all the thinking I did... No, I don't want too". I said.
"Then that settles it". She said.
"What?". I asked more confused than before.
"Jack, first few days of break up is reallh like that. You kept on thinking that you want that person back but as time passes by, you start to think of other things like what if that person hurts you again? Then realization kicks in, that you don't need that kind of people in your life. Then you can move on slowly to the next chapter of your life". She said.
She's right. That's how I felt after breaking up with Katie.
"Do I have to tell her that?". I asked.
"Yes. She has to understand that you don't want anything to do with her". She replied.
Finally it dawned to me. I don't want Katie back in my life. I'll just move on with my life. Continue living it like I never met her.
A/N:
Stay Safe and Stay Happy 😄
