The Gory Details (Gross)

The Gory Details #3: Me Speak Doctor

Gory details is a monthly article dedicated to helping writers improve their writing by looking at some of the "real" places and things that often find their way into horror stories. This month's details are about medical language. Yawn! (Not really. Read on.)

If you've ever seen the very mediocre film "Article 99," you've seen my friend Ted in his one big screen appearance. At the very beginning of the movie, they're rushing this woman into an emergency room and one of the orderlies says, "It looks like a pulmonary embolism." That's Teddy. (If you want to let him know how good he did, call him at the Topeka Civic Theatre where he's a set designer) Good line; "pulmonary embolism." Very medical. Very creepy. But what is a pulmonary embolism? The fact of the matter is, while mad scientist, cannibals and deranged dieticians abound in horror literature, few of us know the technical terms for what they are cutting, eating or aerobicising. This can really hurt the writing. Observe:

The doctor held Johnny's head gently, rocking it back and forth as he examined the oozing, green crust that had leaked from Johnny's nose in the night, forming a scablike sheath over his lips and chin. Leaning back, the doctor sighed. "Yes," he said gravely. "This boy has boogers."

The real answer is to go to medical school and learn the language. If your schedule is too busy for that, at least get a copy of "Dorland's Medical Dictionary," the bible of medical terminology. Still too busy? All right. Here are a few key tips on how to speak doctor.

Medical terminology is based on Greek. So, in medicine, most words have an object and a descriptor. Laryngitis becomes laryng - the larynx and itis - swelling of. The Greeks also used a linking letter, usually O, to hook together more complex concepts. This can get way out of hand like in the case of an oopherectosalpingoectomy. A complete hysterectomy. With these two simple rules, you can now make thousands of fun and disgusting medical terms right in your own home.

"'He's dead Jim.' Is a bit over played." You say. "Is there a better way to discuss dead things?" Sure. The root word is necr- death. But the fun doesn't end there.

Necrosis - Process of cell death.

Necrosis, cheesy - Cell death in which, "the tissue is, soft, dry, and cottage cheese like." (That's a quote from Dorland's. I swear.)

Necrolysis - Shedding of dead tissue, sometimes big lumps of it.

Necrogenics - Coming from dead matter.

Necrospermia - Dead sperm. (Yech!)

"What if I want to say oozing, running or dripping?" Good question. One important descriptor -rrhea. Try these.

Diarrhea - You know this one

Rhinorrhea - Excessive discharge from the nose. Usually means bloody nose.

Seborrhea - Excessive production of fatty fluids from the skin. Very gross.

Logorrhea - Running on at the mouth. (Logo means word. It's not really a medical term but I suffer from it.)

Hemorrhage - Unusual word construction but right idea. Discharge of blood.

Hematorrhea - Really big discharge of blood. If you're experiencing hematorrhea, don't waste time trying to say it. Say something like, "Yes that is my blood spraying on the wall. Could you fetch me a band-aid and an ambulance?"

Here are a few roots and descriptors for you to play with on your own. You'll be surprised how many you already know. Roots first.

Gastr- Stomach

Enter- Intestines

Hepat - Liver

Hema - Blood (Sometimes Hemat-)

Dacty - fingers and toes

Arthr - Joints

Oste - Bone

Oma - Unusual cell growth, usually cancerous.

Copr - Feces

lypo- Fat

Some fun descriptors to put with these roots might be:

Crypt - Hidden

- Itis - Swollen

- sys - Process of

- Ic - Of or having to do with

-Ol - Made of alcohol (Hematol? Blood made from alcohol? Could be. Just don't light a match.)

Oligo- Small

Ex- Outside

Peri- Near

Giga - Huge

-Plasty - Repair of, as in plastic surgery

Dys - Disordered, bad

-Ectomy - Removal

Here are some fun combinations of these and other words that might fit into your grisly little story:

Cryptogenic - of obscure origin

Cachinnation - Uncontrollable laughter

Polythelia - Extra nipples

Labile - Unstable

Glossotrichia - Hairy tongue

Dystocia - Abnormal childbirth

Ulotomy - Incision of the gums

Verruciform - Wart like

Contrecoup - This is a tough word. It's actually French and indicates damage opposite the point of impact. In the case of blunt trauma, the shock waves passing through the brain can be strong enough to cause damage when they converge on the opposite side of the head.

Autodigestion - Tendency for the stomach to digest itself and surrounding tissues after death. (Yech!)

Acathexia - Inability to retain bodily secretions.

Moria - (This one is just for you Tolkien fans out there make of it what you will.) Dementia. In psychiatry, the morbid tendency to joke.

Cosmesis - Preservation of beauty.

Inguin - The groin. (What does this make a penguin?)

Prandial - Having to do with a meal

Triocephalus - A fetus with no eyes, nose or ears.

Zoonotic - Animal disease contractible by man.

Sepsis - Presence of disease causing microorganisms

Formication - Feeling of bugs crawling on the skin.

Chigoe - This is the flea that burrows into people's skin and causes such terrible sores and spontaneous amputation of fingers and toes. They're found in the Tropical Americas and Africa.

Pseudomelanosis - Changes in skin color after death. Generally darkening.

This is just a tiny fraction of the cool and gross words in medical language. While not enough to get you through a serious medical thriller, I hope this intro will help spice up the language of your favorite mad scientist. After all, In Jurrasic Park, Laura Dern magically transformed into a paleobotonist with only four words. She warmed us up with the key words, "veriformin," (This is a plant. It looks like the medical term vermiform: wormlike.) and "microvesicles" (small blisters.) then knocked us down with "It's pharmacological" (caused by a drug.) and "heliotoxicity" (Poisoned by the sun or something. It's unusual usage.) Wow, years of medical school replaced by four word. Impressive.

Let's go back to where we started, my friend Ted. A "pulmonary embolism" is a sudden blockage of the artery which supplies blood to the lungs. If Ted and Laura can do it, so can you. Now get out there and write.

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