The Gory Details (Gross)

Gory Details #43 "Bark at the Moon"

"Werewolf?" Asked Gene Wilder in Mel Brooks' 1973 classic, Young Frankenstein.

"There wolf." Marty Feldman replies. "There castle."

Whether as serious monsters of ancient history or the subject of bad Mel Brooks puns, werewolves are some seriously cool monsters. Let's take a look.

First of all, what is a werewolf? Simply put, a were wolf is just a human who has a curse on them that changes them into a wolf at certain times. Usually, the time is the full moon but it could be anything, anger, the smell of blood etc. This ability to change is called lycanthropy. The interesting thing is that, historically, you could have a curse that changed you into any animal. I suppose this could get pretty kinky and or dangerous if you were turning into say a skunk or a skink or a wereslug. Now there's a vicious beasty, the wereslug. We're just going to stick with the werewolf for now.

Most major cultures seem to have some creature in their mythology that behaves at least somewhat like a werewolf. In Egypt there were wiry haired were people who lived in the desert. In ancient Syria there were the "dog faced" people, whose hideous looks were attributed to the fact that their mother's had mated with werewolves.

The werewolves we're familiar with come of course from Europe and their behavior is traceable to the behavior of medieval wolves. It's easy for those of us whose most fearsome dog encounter is the neighbor's yippy schnauzer to forget what a wolf is like. A full grown wolf easily stands waist high to a man and can weigh well over 100 pounds. Given that they could out run and out jump a human and multiplied by the fact that they hunted in packs; wolves tasted man flesh at least occasionally until rifles finally drove them back.

This then is the fear of the werewolf; a hunter, intelligent, fast, and strong enough to come after you. The fact that it's your cousin Mikey is really just bonus material for you to think about after he's crushed your windpipe and before you've choked to death on your own blood.

It is also interesting that, while the world at large thinks that werewolves can be from most any environment, European werewolves generally come at you out of the cold and snow. I find this fascinating because medieval Europe was under the spell of a bitter cold snap. This cold snap was going on because of a weather and water phenomenon happening in the North Atlantic. Curiously, meteorologists are speculating that this phenomenon will come back as a result of global warming. Wouldn't it be cool if global warming set off a wave of werewolves across Europe? Me, I just live for stuff like that.

Actually, being a werewolf comes with certain advantages. You've got a pretty good alibi for one thing, seeing as you don't have the teeth or claws necessary to rip someone's entrails out yet that's clearly what happened to the victim. The other plus is that you seem to be pretty much immortal unless shot with a silver bullet. Generally, you would think this would not be an obstacle. After all, how many people do you know who've got silver bullets on them? An no, a beer can does not count.

In books and film, there have been some interesting takes on the whole werewolf idea. I personally loved the scene in Stephen King's Movie "Silver Bullet" when the wolf muzzle grew out of the man's mouth, taking over his whole head. I also read a very good book (the name of which I've long since forgotten) that made a big deal out of the painfulness of changing from human to werewolf and back. Bone actually broke and refused as the transition took place. It was gross and made you wince to read it. Great stuff. What was that book's name?

I also wanted to take a moment to give kudos to the Harry Potter people. When it came time for the werewolf to appear out of Professor Lupin, he appeared in response to the moon, as you would expect, but he did not simple look like a dog. He was a tall, gangling creature with folded back ears and long claws.

And you thought Harry Potter was just an annoying kids show. Oh wait. It is.

Now get out there and write.

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