The Gory Details (Gross)

Gory Detail #39 "Mommy Dearest"

Usually the Gore Monger likes to start off his articles with a little quip or side story. Not so today. Today we cut right to the quick. Echidna was one messed up old girl. Appearing early in Greek mythology, Echidna (who's name means "she serpent") had the beautiful face and torso of a woman then the body of a serpent. In typical Ancient Greek style, she married her brother Typhon. Of these two were born the biggest brood of baddies the world has ever seen. It's also important to note that she screwed around with Heracles and had three children by him. We'll see why that's important in a minute. First Echidna's children.

While the list of who was parented by who in the world or Greek myth is never completely accurate, Echidna is generally credited with parenting the following brood.

Geryon - Geryon was a cool bad guy. He lived on an island in the Atlantic and had three separate torsos and heads. Each was incredibly strong and joined to the others at the waist. Although he was considered a monster, his main occupation was herding cattle.

Nemean Lion – This was a huge lion whose hide was so tough that arrows wouldn't pierce it. As it turns out the only thing that would cut it is its own claws.

Cerebrus and Orthus – These two giant dogs were the guardians of the underworld. Each had between three and one hundred heads, a serpents tail and serpents coiling around its neck.

Ladon – The garden of Hesperides was a nice place with fountains and pools and particularly valuable golden apples. It also had a great guardian Ladon, the hundred headed dragon. (Just incase you're sensing a multi-headed theme here. Typhon, father of all of these beasties had one hundred heads also.)

The Chimera - This is a monster that lived in Asia Minor. It's description changes depending on the source but there most general description would say it had the head of a lion the body of a goat and the tail of a dragon. It also spat fire. Why it didn't set its own mane on fire is not clear.

The Sphinx – The sphinx could fly, had the body of a lion and the head of a beautiful woman. She also had the bad habit of eating people who couldn't solve her riddle.

The hydra - The Hydra was a water spirit with a dog's body and dragon heads. The real challenge was that The Hydra would grow two new heads for each one you cut off.

Echidna also gave birth to several lesser know Greek figures among them Ethon the eagle that eats Prometheus' liver every day and a wonder beastie known as the Crommyonian Sow.

O.K. Now, here's where it gets weird. After having this gang of baddies, Echidna decided she had a hankering for Hercules. In order to seduce him she stole his horses. Naturally, he gave in and they got jiggy. This resulted in the birth of triplets. That's not the weird part. The weird part is the fate of Echidna's kids. Take the Nemean Lion.

Now the Nemean Lion had a coat that was so tough no one could pierce it. There was one person however who was so strong they could strangle the lion right through his coat. Who do you suppose that was? Right-O Hercules, who then cut the lion's coat off using his own claws and used it as a cloak.

Next consider The Hydra. Someone (wearing a lion's cloak) burnt Hydra's heads as he cut them off so that new ones couldn't grow. Who could it be? You bet. The original mister I Nair My Chest Hair, Hercules

Finally, there was Geryon. Poor Geryon, just trying to tend his cattle when boom! Hercules shoots through all three hearts with an arrow that had been dipped in the blood of none of than Geryon's sister The Hydra.

Why in the hell would Echidna sleep with the guy who was killing all her kids? My personal theory is that she was hoping, if she had some kids by him, he wouldn't kill them. I mean what could pillow talk have been like between them?

Hercules – (Sounding like Elvis) Sorry baby I'm kinda tired tonight. I slew me a hydra today.

Echidna – A Hydra?

Hercules – Yeah, I burned its necks while I cut off its heads.

Echidna – (Remembering the time young Hydra ate her music teacher during the fall musical) Sniff! I guess we'll just have to make another. Come on, give me some of that super hero stuff, but this time take off the lion skin.

On a final note, the Crommyonian Sow made Echidna a grandmother by giving birth to the Calydonian Boar. It's not clear who the father of the Calydonian boar is. Can you blame them for not wanting to talk about it?

Now get out there and write.

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