TW: Alcohol abuse
"You ready?" He asks grabbing his car keys and slides them into his pocket.
A saddened smile is wiped across your face. "Yeah." You pull open his door without waiting for him to do so and start heading down the stairs which lead to the sidewalk.
His presence follows quickly after you. "Hey, are you alright?"
Hearing what he asked, you decide to ignore it and continue you on to the passenger side of his car.
As the door clicks unlocked, you slide into the seat next to him, still not giving him attention.
"Hey. Answer me." The stern tone slightly weakens your resistance.
"Can we just go? I don't really wanna talk about it." Still no eye contact is shared.
"Did I do something?"
"Take me home."
He simply nods at your request and leaves the topic to rest.
It only takes about a minute to reach the other side of the building to your place. "My meeting should only last about an hour. Call me if you need anything."
A half smile plasters your face. It's so obvious that it's fake and disingenuous. "I will."
His eyes are filled to the brim with concern, but you still don't give it any attention.
You grab your things and leave quickly as to leave the tension behind.
No words are shared as you leave the car. Dread flowed through your head so heavily that it almost caused you stumble up the steps to your door.
Once you reach the door, you pause. Slowly, you turn your head to see his car still parked near the sidewalk. A sigh escapes your lips as you push open your door and quickly slide in, locking it as it clicks shut.
Tears fill your eyes as you make your way into your bedroom.
You grab your journal and fall onto your bed, opening up the book to the empty page that follows your previous entry.
"October 16
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel. I had the most wonderful night and morning with "him", but I feel so... wrong. Could I ever actually be good enough for him? I'm just feeling so lost in my feelings. I like him a lot. He makes me feel safe... but that's why I'm worried. What if he turns out to be like all the other guys I've been with? Does he even want to be with me?? I'm so sad that I shared that moment of vulnerability with him today. I'm making it too easy for him to hurt me. It only feels like a matter of time."
You wipe the tear from your cheek before it falls onto the page and close the book. The guilt of how you left him worried moments before is flooding your mind.
It doesn't take long before you're in the kitchen reaching into the back of your lowest cabinet until you find just what you're looking for.
"Just a little." You sigh quietly to yourself in a reassuring manner before you take a sip from the liquor that usually hides behind the pots and pans. Your mom was always too quick to judge your stability with every flaw she could find so you kept your alcohol away in a hidden spot.
After a few throat burning swallows, your liquor is dragged along with yourself into the shower where you sit and let the hot rain fall down onto your back as you sip on your bottle. The loud sound of the water hitting the shower floor drowned out your thoughts
Moments later you're pulled out of your state by an outside noise.
DING
Quickly, you turn off the water and pull yourself up to check your phone. It becomes very clear to you that you'd had a little too much to drink as you're widening your eyes to try and read the message.
"Hey, it's Ren. Can you give me a call soon? Something seemed off earlier. I just want to be sure that everything it alright."
A small giggle escapes as you think it's funny that he addressed himself as if you didn't save his name in your contacts.
"Fuck." You quickly shut off your phone without replying and stumble your way back to your room where you toss it on the bed and begin finding some clean clothes.
DING
This time you choose to ignore it. You didn't want to talk to him, especially while you're not sober.
DING
A huff slips passes your lips as you set your phone on silent to block out the aggravating rings.
When the silence sets in, your headache from your lack of sobriety only pounds harder. Every little noise made you more upset than before.
The bottle you sipped on before still sits on your dresser staring back at you. A small laugh to yourself breaks through your emotions. "I better put you back in the cabinet." You point your finger at it as if it could laugh along with you.
You grab the fragile glass and continue giggling to yourself as you trace your other hand across the wall towards the kitchen.
KNOCK KNOCK
Your eyelids slowly raise to the sound of someone at your door. "What the fuck?" As you gain more consciousness, you see that you're on the kitchen floor. Groans flow out of you as you pull yourself up off of the cold tile.
Glass pieces are scattered across the kitchen.
"Did I pass out?" You shake the words out as you shuffle passed the broken bottle towards the door.
Another knock hits the door as you reach for the handle which startles you.
You take a deep breath and slowly pull open the door to see a tall figure on the other side.
"Ren?"
YOU ARE READING
Teacher's Toy • (Kylo Ren x Reader)
רומנטיקהYour college professor, Ren, is more than you think. He's sneaky. He's got secrets. He also has your bra on his bedroom floor. This story was originally based off a certain character, but his name is rarely mentioned so feel free to mentally place...
