Delta

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Past

And...what now? I thought wearily. At this point I wasn't even surprised anymore. I just braced myself for whatever craziness Elsa had in store for me next.

"Look at this! Friends reunited once again!" Elsa said cheerfully. I blinked against the bright lights, my eyes stinging for a moment before I realized what was in front of me.

Adrian and Ella sat across from me, maybe fifteen or twenty feet away, strapped to a chair just like me. Jason sat beside them, the only difference being that he had no restraints. He leaned casually back in his chair, watching the scene unfold without expression.

No one said anything. I stared at Adrian and Ella and they stared back at me. We remained silent. Now was definitely not the time for a discussion about the situation and what the next step should be.

"Why so sullen? Are none of you happy to see your friends?"

"We saw each other like...yesterday..." I said for some reason. "If even that."

As I spoke, I couldn't keep my eyes off Adrian and Jason. The memory of their childhood-selves which they had no recollection of hung front and center in my thoughts, like some big secret that I knew about them.

Liam and Alex. Oh my god. This is so messed up. 

I swallowed. "What exactly are you trying to pull off now?" I asked Elsa tiredly. "Should I expect to have to sit here for much longer, or are you gonna make this quick?"

"You've certainly gotten quite the attitude," Her cold voice sneered. "Cranky, are we?"

I rolled my eyes and slumped down in the chair, desperately hoping that she would do whatever she intended to do quickly so that I could die or leave or sleep. Whichever option I was given.

"Well, I'll get straight to the point since one of us is getting impatient. I gathered you all here today because I felt like it was time to give you all some answers," She said formally as if we were employees at a staff meeting about to discuss some work problems. 

However, Adrian and Ella both glanced up, looking hopeful.

"What kind of answers?" Adrian asked cautiously, struggling to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

"Darling, only the answers that matter. The ones you've all been most wanting. About your past, of course."

I cringed at how she called him 'darling'. It sounded wrong in her fake robotic voice. It was while thinking this that I nearly didn't catch what she said next.

"Though I know for a fact that Reagan can already provide some of those for you, can't she?"

"Huh?" I said like an idiot upon hearing my name. "What-oh. Oh!"

Adrian and Ella both looked at me questioningly. Before I could open my mouth, she just continued on.

"But that doesn't matter. I'm here to provide the truth for each and every one of you. That is, if you want it."

"Oh course we want it!" Ella burst out. "Why wouldn't we want the truth about our lives?! The memories which were stolen from us!"

"But isn't it sometimes better to forget the bad things? If your old life was miserable and horrible, then wouldn't it be a blessing to not remember? Especially for you, Clara."

"I don't care what-" She faltered as the name sunk in, the meaning behind it. With a slight tremble in her voice, she asked. "Is it..is that...?" 

She suddenly froze up and her eyes went blank. Her fingers curled around the arms of the chair and her chest heaved in with a gasp. She stayed locked like that, a look of growing horror contorting her expression.

"What did you do?!" I yelled across the room, my voice mixing in with Adrian's shout of protest.

"Relax, I just disabled the memory suppressor in her chip. I'd assume that the rush of memories can be quite overwhelming."

"Wait, so she's...remembering?" Adrian asked, his eyes flicking from Ella to me. We exchanged apprehensive looks.

"Precisely. 1873, it's your turn."

I didn't even have a chance to respond before I was suddenly yanked backwards into my past, hundreds of years ago.

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The memories whipped by like the pages of a photo album, barely giving me time to process them. There was me around age ten, eating Thanksgiving dinner with my mom and dad. Age eleven at a friend's birthday party. Camping, swimming, soccer practice, movie theatre. Birthdays, holidays, vacations. Around age twelve my mom disappeared. I remembered her brown hair and warm hands. Dad was never home. Out working. School days, lonely evenings, pet cat. Dad's smile. Working late. Bags under his eyes. Darker, darker, darker. Never came home. Where's Dad? People at the door. Leaving home. What about my cat? Dark elevator. Bright lights. White room. Jasper. Liam. Skylar. 

And then I was out, left sitting in my chair feeling breathless, as if I had just gone down a steep drop on a rollercoaster. Every important moment in my life, every memory, was laid out in the previously empty timeline of my life. It felt weird to remember, after waking up and knowing nothing. Because no matter how long or short of time that I had been awake, that was all I knew, and the not knowing had been a part of it. Anything before that moment I gained consciousness had been wiped away, my previous life erased.

And now, because of that, these memories I had felt like they were of a completely different person. That wasn't me. I was me. I didn't know anything about that other person, even though I did. But then again, how much did I even know about myself now? I didn't know what my favorite hobbies were, what career I wanted, what type of life I wanted to have. And weren't those all the things that a normal person should know about themselves?

Everything was silent as I sat there, oblivious to anything else in the room as I tried to catch my breath. I felt a strange disconnect then, like I couldn't relate to younger me or present me. Who was I? 

I finally looked up, feeling empty. Ella looked like she had emerged from her memories too, but she sat still, a blank look on her face. Adrian, on the other hand, looked ready to cry. His face was scrunched into a pained expression, and he stared at an empty spot on the floor.

The only one unaffected was Jason. He watched us all with an almost amused expression, though said nothing. I had no idea what his problem was.

One thing was clear, though. Just like Elsa had warned, remembering might have been worse after all.