Enemies to Lovers: Bucky X Reader

Chapter 11: The Truth

Bucky looked at me in confusion. „How could you possibly... Why do you think that was you?" „Well... I have this thing with my memory. Whenever I try to think of my past, my head gets all foggy and I get a headache. When I first met you, you somehow seemed familiar to me... but not in a good way for some reason, so I tried remembering from where I could possibly know you and... my head started filling with fog and it hurt even more than it usually does. I knew something had to be up and I just... I thought I should probably keep a distance, which was why I ran out of that closet so quickly. But it was so hard for me because..." I stopped myself. I should not confess my feelings to him right after we basically found out we were experimented on together. „Anyway... I had a bad dream the other day too, where I was strapped to a chair and some guy sent electricity through my body and I knew there was someone sitting next to me also strapped to a chair, but I was in too much pain to see who it was." I lowered my head and started to cry in silence, when suddenly Bucky grabbed my right arm with his left arm and took his flesh hand to cup my face. „Hey, princess, we are going to find out what happened, ok. We are both going to remember, ok?" He looked me deep into my eyes and then pulled me to his chest to give me a long hug. Eventually, he pulled away and realized he was still softly holding my arm. I was only wearing a tank top, so a lot of skin was visible. Bucky looked at the scars on my arms and when he lifted his vibranium arm he looked shocked. He quickly pulled away. „Bucky? What-" before I asked him what was going on, he jumped up and said „You should leave Y/N." I noticed he looked between me and his left arm in terror. „Bucky why? What is going on? Do you remember something?" I asked hoping he wasn't in terror because of how close we had been. No response. „Bucky?" I asked again. „I think... I think those scars..." he pointed at my arm where some of my scars looked like someone had scratched me with claws. „... I think I did that to you" I got up and tried to get closer to him, but he took a step back for every step I took to get closer to him. „Stay away from me Y/N! I... you don't deserve this. I'm a monster..." „But Bucky you..." „Please Y/N! Please leave! I.. I hurt you more than enough already" I noticed he was trying to hold back tears and he was far more succesful at it than me. I started crying and left. I didn't know where to go and what to do, so I just ran downstairs and bumped into Tony. „Hey Kid!" He looked at me and noticed I was crying. „Y/N! What happened, why are you crying? Are you hurt?" He asked, ready to kill someone. „No. I-I thhink... B-Bucky and I..." I stuttered while crying, but I just couldn't finish. Then I heard a voice from the corner of the room. „They were at Hydra together." it was Wanda. She must have read my thoughts, but I was thankful for that. „What?? Does that mean you remember?" Tony asked in confusion. He was amongst the very few people knowing about my memory issue since he initially wanted to do a background check on me when I first joined, but without success. „No... I... We talked and" I snivled „we both had dreams of being tortured at Hydra. The same dream. And now he thinks that...he's scared he hurt me" „Oh kid... come here" Tony said and gave me a hug. I probably ruined his expensive clothes but I didn't care. „Where is Barnes?" he asked after a while. „In his room. He asked me to leave. H-he thinks that... he thinks he is a monster and now he doesn't want to see me anymore because he thinks he hurt me..." Tony sighed. „Hey, kid, I'm sure we are going to be able to untangle this mess very soon, ok?" He patted on my back. „If you're comfortable with that, we can talk to Bruce and he could run some tests." „But that didn't work the first time we did that... why should it work now?" I said, still crying. „We have more information now. Wanda, please go get Bucky, will you? Bring him to Bruce's lab and don't tell him Y/N is down there" „On my way" „What do you want to do Tony? H-he doesnt want to see me anymore..." Saying this last sentence broke my heart. It had been broken when Bucky asked me to leave, but now, as the realisation of it really hit me, it shattered into a million tiny pieces. „We'll figure something out kid. Let's go."

When we arrived at Bruce's lab Tony explained everything since I was still emotional. Bruce looked at me in concern and said: „I'll do the best I can to help you, but I can't promise you anything unfortunately. I don't know what Hydra did exactly, so I don't know a way around it. At least not yet. It will be a bit easier with Bucky since I know what Shuri did, but we will see. Where is he anyway?" „He should be here any minute now. I thought it could be helpful to have them both here." Tony said. „That was a good call. They need to sit close to each other in order for this to work." I heard a knock on the door and then Bucky came in. „Bruce, Wanda told me to get he-" when he saw me he stopped mid sentence. He looked like he was shocked, sad and angry at himself. My eyes were swollen and red from all the crying and I was surprised I still had enough water in me, but I was still crying a bit. „I... I'm... I think it would be better if I left. Just let me know when you're done here." he stuttered and was about to leave, but Tony stopped him. „You stay here, Barnacle Boy." Then he looked at me and then back at Bucky and whispered: „You owe this to her."
Bruce made us sit down in chairs right across from each other so that our knees were almost touching. Then he hooked us up to a few machines that were connected to some sort of screen. „Ok so, I know this might be difficult for both of you and you might feel uncomfortable about this, but you guys need to sit here and concentrate on nothing but each other. When I turn on the machine, it should activate all your memories of each other. Depending on how well those memories are hidden, it could hurt a bit, but you still have to try and focus on each other, ok?" Bruce explained. We both mumbled something like „Yes", but didn't look at each other. „Ok starting in 3...2...1... and there we go." I felt nothing. What are we even doing here? How is this supposed to help us? All I wanted was answers... instead we are sitting here, everything is awkward and yet we have no answers. „Guy it's not going to work like that. You have to focus on each other. And Y/N... I know it's not my place to tell you this, but it would help if you stopped crying." I didn't even know that I was still crying. I looked up and noticed Bucky was looking at me with sad and concerned eyes. „Maybe... if that doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable you could sit on Bucky lap?" Bruce suggested. I sighed. I wanted to be close to Buck, but he had made it very clear he wants me to stay away from him. I looked down feeling a bit uncomfortable, when I heard Bucky whisper my name. I looked up and saw that he hold out his hands as if he was trying to invite me to come over and sit on his öap. I sat down and he pulled me into a strong embrace. I immediately felt better. „I'm sorry princess. We'll figure this out, ok? Together. Whatever it takes." He whispered. I started to smile and look up. When I looked him straight in the eyes, I suddenly felt my head starting to ache. I heard Bruce say „It's working!!" but the headache only started getting worse and worse and I started groaning with pain. I only felt Bucky pulling me close and then my head was flooded with memories of Bucky and me.