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May 8th,2022
" on my momma bro if he don't make it out whoever did this to him gone feel me " Carlos mumbled under his breath shaking his head
Everyone was scattered across the waiting room zone off or reacting differently to the news I left at their feet. But me ? I'm losing my mind that's my best friend in there fighting for his life and I wish it was me instead. I laughed to myself knowing if it was me in the situation Jason would've done anything in his power to replace him into my place.
"Did I miss the joke? What's so funny?" I heard A voice making me snap my neck in that direction
" Excuse me?" I said slouching a little bit placing my right arm above my head I'm tired and I'm not in the mood.
" My brother back there trying to breath on his own and you out here laughing like shit sweet!" His older sister Jackie said rolling her neck talking with her hands. To me that's fighting words. Talking with yo hands is basically you getting ready to swing and I'll hate to make her mop this entire floor as I drag you through this bitch
" I suggest you sit the fuck back and stop talking to me shorty. I'm not sure why you got animosity towards me but get real with yo self that's my best friend bitch so I'm not goin no where so get the fuck out your feelings and wait on this damn doctor to tell us something before you jump down my damn throat!" I raised my voice but at the end my voice was cracking from me holding back tears.
It's been three hours since we got ti this hospital and no one has told us anything... I grabbed my purse and stormed out the hospital I can't be in there right now I feel like I'm suffocating. Walking to a near by bench I sat down taking four deep breathes to calm myself down. I lifted my arm sleeve looking at the work I carved into my skin. Rubbing my finger tips on the few marks I felt someone touch my shoulder causing me to jump a little.
" Mercedes...." Glancing at the one person who I needed. I scooted over so she had enough room to sit once she did I instantly laid my head on her shoulder feeling her gently rub my hair
" I'm so sorry you had to see that" I whispered tryin to wipe my face free of the tears but they just kept coming
" You promised before you got to this point again you would call me I would've been there for you"
" I know but once I got the news I didn't think I just did it. I thought I lost him by that call I can't go through that." I said sitting up looking at her " Plus you're pregnant now you can't be worrying about what I got goin on
" Idc if you gotta sit with me while I change a diaper bitch if you need me you better come to my house or call me. I always got time for you I know we haven't seen each other but I can't lose you too because you feel alone I'm always here" Lil bit spoke smiling at me
I instantly matched her smile before pulling her into a big hug.
" Wait I thought you were supposed to be riding with him to my house. How did you even up driving by yourself?" Lil bit questioned me
She caught me off guard with that question I was so close... quickly making up a lie I let it roll off my tongue " I had told him i was meeting him over there cause I had to run a few errands for my granny"
" Oh well look at god he knew he couldn't take my bestie from me , but can you help me up so we can go in?" She said placing her arm around my neck and I wrapped my left arm around her waist so I could push up to get her up. As soon we made it to the waiting room I seen them all surrounding a doctor making Lil bit and I pick up our pace. Once we go to the group he seen us and restarted his previous sentence
" So Jason was shot 4 times... in his arm,his right shoulder,his right leg and his stomach. I'm sorry but Jason-" I didn't even let him finish talking before I handed Kacy off to Keon and storming out the hospital. After making my journey to keon's car I sat there in silence for a couple of minutes before goin in my purse to grab my weed and woods to roll up when I seen the car keys in here. I forgot I got these from him earlier to smoke. Without thinking I started the car up goin back to their house to retrieve my car. Pulling up in his spot I quickly turned off the car and hopped out speed walking to my car.
Taking my car apart looking for the one thing that would take my pain away that a wood couldn't compare to. Looking under my drivers seat I seen the silver thing shine out to me. Picking it up I sat in my seat.. seeing my phone go off I picked it up seeing all the messages over everyone telling me to come back but I cleared my notifications seeing a picture Jason and I took a year ago when he took me to the carnival. We were sitting on the Ferris wheel looking down at the people who looked like ants from up there. Jason called my name making me smile and look at him and right at that moment he kissed my forehead and took a picture. I always wondered what made him do that. He's the one who set this as my lock screen and I simply never felt the need to change it back.
Remembering what was goin on in real time, I threw my phone in the backseat before turning up the music in the radio. It sounded like country music but I didn't mind. Flipping the blade between my fingers debating on what to do a vision of Jason flashed around my mind quickly helping my decision.Moving my finger tips over my clear of blemishes left arm I sighed knowing what I'm doin is wrong but it help me take the pain away..... I slowly dragged the razor across my wrist wincing at the pain after that first cut it's like the pressure was lifted off my shoulders. I kept cutting even though blood was dripping like a faucet I didn't care,I kept going until all I seen was black with multiple little colors all over then suddenly all black.....
