CHAPTER 13: Photographs and Moving On

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I woke up early today to do the laundry for our dirty clothes, as well as some pieces that Ms. Teresa wasn't able to wash the other day. It's important to make sure the other children at the center have clean clothes to wear, as most of them only have a few outfits. The center doesn't have enough funds and relies on donations from the church and foundations. They prioritize funds for food and medicine for the children.

After having my coffee, I went to the back of the building where the laundry area is located. I still can't believe the happiness I felt on my 18th birthday, thanks to Among Jowie and the center staff who organized a special celebration for me. I made sure to express my gratitude multiple times, as this experience will always hold a special place in my heart. It wasn't just me who was happy; Oteph and the other children at the center were thrilled as well. Mama Flora mentioned that it was the first debut ever held at the center, so it was a lucky opportunity. Since we arrived at the center, I have seen the children's genuine smiles, which had been hidden for so long due to their difficult pasts. Last night, even if only for a short while, their hearts were filled with dreams of being princes and princesses again.

Gem's serious expression when he confessed his love for me keeps replaying in my mind. I can't help but feel guilty for not being able to reciprocate his feelings. Despite the happiness I felt last night, I struggled to sleep because of Gem's reaction when he left me in the middle of the hall after we danced together. He didn't approach me again and seemed to be avoiding me. He didn't even say goodbye after the program.

I started sorting through our dirty clothes, taking them out of the laundry basket one by one to rinse them at the faucet. Oteph was still asleep in our bed, likely exhausted from last night's festivities.

While going through the clothes, I noticed something sticking out of the pocket of my pants. It was a picture of my mother, tucked into Fr. Jowie's book. I had forgotten to return it to my godfather's book. I held the picture and looked at my mother's beautiful face. A sense of regret washed over me, wishing she was still alive and could have been with me at my debut. I missed hearing her say, "Oh, my little princess is all grown up." I wondered if our life with Oteph would be different if my mother hadn't passed away. Holding the slightly faded photo in my trembling hands, I wanted to remember her as I saw her in the picture – her beauty and her smile before she fell ill with cancer.

"Mother..." I whispered, tears streaming down my face. "I miss you so much," I added, gently kissing the photo of my mother.

I longed to confide in her, to share my feelings, problems, and moments when I wanted to give up. I wished she could be there when I came home, hugging me tightly to comfort me when I cried. She would shower me with kisses on my forehead and cheeks, and even try to cheer me up when I was feeling down. But now, would she still be able to hear me if I confided in her?

Releasing a heavy sigh, I wiped away my tears with my hand, careful not to let anyone, especially my brother, notice that I was crying. I turned the photo around to read what was written on the back, something I didn't have the chance to do yesterday because Among Jowie interrupted me. This is also why I slipped the photo into my pants pocket instead of returning it to the book. It seems I have another problem to solve – how to return it to him without causing any trouble.

I was amazed by how beautifully Mama had written on the back of her 4R-sized photo. It stirred up a mix of emotions within me. It wasn't just an ordinary picture of Mom; it was a glimpse into her past that I hadn't known about, right in front of me to witness.

I began reading every word she had written on the back of the photo, causing a slight shiver to run through my entire body.

Jowie,

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