Chapter 18

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Jennifer knew she was getting too excited. She knew she shouldn't have let her heart hope. She waited for Cynthia to drop the reason she still wasn't ready to be an HR manager. And probably never would be.

"What is it?" Jennifer asked not touching her food anymore. This was getting too real. This was getting too close to her goal. This was getting her heart racing almost as fast as Austin had this morning.

"You have to stop being so chummy with everyone at the store," Cynthia said taking what looked like would be the last bite of her half-eaten salad. She shrugged elegantly and took a sip of her iced tea as if to say, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Well, I-" Jennifer wasn't sure what to say. She had just been thinking to herself today that she was hardly friendly with anyone at the store. Other than Selena and now maybe Austin, she didn't think anyone would notice if she never showed up at the store ever again. "I do my best to remain professional, Cynthia."

"Yes, you do your best to be professional," Cynthia said as she piled everything up on her plate. "But you get caught up in helping people with the details too much. You don't teach them how to do it on their own. You like to be the hero. I don't know how else to put it, dear, but you're just too involved in the regular lives of everyone at the store. Especially, Selena and the cosmetic girls."

Jennifer sat there dumbfounded. Here she thought she was building the HR relationship in the store and showing that they cared about people. But her boss saw her as meddling and not doing her job, wanting to be the hero for everyone in the store. Did Cynthia have any idea how many questions Jennifer answered every day? Did her boss know that half of the store's compliance with OSHA wasn't getting done before she worked there? Did the Dragon Lady even care? Jennifer could feel her anger rising in her chest, but she had to choke it back down. She couldn't let Cynthia see how upset she was because this was it. Jennifer had to show her boss she was professional. That she could take constructive criticism. An HR manager wouldn't fly off the handle, throw her salad in her boss's face, and scream at her at the food court of the mall.

Jennifer cleaned up her own plate, allowing time to compose herself. Cynthia did the same and they walked their trays to the trash can together. When Jennifer thought she could talk without her voice shaking, she said, "I'm sorry that I have been distracted by trying to help other people in the store. I try to teach them as much as I can to do things on their own, but it seems that they keep coming back to me." It was the best she could do. The best she could do without saying, "Up yours! I don't give a crap what you think. I like to help people and that's why they like me!"

"Yes, and it's nice that you help them, but they have got to learn to do it on their own," Cynthia said as if she was talking to a small child. Jennifer had often heard her use this voice with the managers. It was usually when they were trying to fire someone without the correct paperwork. Apparently, she thought Jennifer was one of her wayward children as well. "You simply have to say 'no'. Being an HR manager isn't a popularity contest, Jennifer. It is our job to ensure that everyone has a fair shot and is treated fairly at the store. You cannot be everyone's friend if you are doing that."

Unease started building in Jennifer's stomach. She knew Cynthia was right. She knew that the Dragon Lady was totally and absolutely right. And that was hard to swallow. Jennifer was actually doing herself a favor by not becoming good friends with everyone in the store. She was helping her career by being more reserved. Her wounded heart was finally helping her move forward and not a hindrance.

"I will do better," Jennifer said knowing that was all she could say at the moment. Her disappointment was too strong. The friendships she thought she was going to have and maybe the fulfilling life while she worked hard for her degree at Peterson's were also being dashed. The thought of being lonely and in the HR manager office every day unable to tell people how she really felt or what she really thought seemed bleak.

"Jennifer, this is why HR people need to stick together," Cynthia said, and she put her hand on the younger woman's arm and stopped her from walking. She forced Jennifer to look into her perfectly lined if droopy eyes and see that she was right. Cynthia was serious and if Jennifer really wanted this job and that tuition, she was going to have to buckle down. "That is why we have meetings and why we try to get together because we need to have someone safe to talk to in the store, too. You know that you can always talk to me about what you really think throughout the store. But you need not share it with Selena. Especially, what we have going on with Todd right now."

"Yes, ma'am," Jennifer answered, feeling the need to be more formal and show her boss that she was serious, too. They walked the rest of the way in silence as Jennifer digested what Cynthia said. She knew how badly Jennifer wanted to be an HR manager. Cynthia knew that her ultimate goal was to go back to school. Jennifer believed her boss would help her get there. Jennifer had to listen to Cynthia.

They returned to the office and were relieved to see that Valerie, the HR director, had responded with very few changes to their training. Cynthia whooped and gave Jennifer a high five! They smiled as they packed everything away, knowing that tomorrow would be the battle with Todd. Cynthia rolled her giant bag out into the hall and Jennifer followed with her small bag, wondering if she would have to roll a monstrosity of her own someday soon. She chuckled to herself as they made their way down to the parking lot outside.

"Dang it," Jennifer said feeling around in her jacket pocket for her keys and finding nothing. She had put them in the drawer that morning because she hadn't planned on Cynthia being there all day. "I don't have my keys; I have to run back to the office."

"I would wait for you but my husband's actually at home tonight. We're getting ready for Bryant coming home from college tomorrow," Cynthia said glancing at her watch and pulling out her phone. "Good work today and I'll see you in the morning."

The last sentence made Jennifer's heart sink even further. She wanted a day in the office alone. The thought of dealing with Todd by herself didn't sound appealing but the thought of being able to close the door and think about work and what she wanted sounded amazing. Whenever she got home, putting her job from her mind was the first thing she did as she fed her cats, and they snuggled on the couch and watched all the old episodes of the Vampire Diaries on Netflix. She was wondering about all this as she went back to the executive offices. The HR office was silent as she grabbed her keys. She glanced up when she heard footsteps coming down the hall.

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