Chapter 58

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Jennifer zigzagged away from Austin.

"Jennifer, wait!" he called after her, but she started to run. "I'm sorry."

She heard the last part and knew it was true from the look on his face. But she had to get away from him, too. She needed to think. She jogged down the escalator past a few startled customers. Reaching the ground floor, she saw a few sympathetic looks from the women in the cosmetic department but kept going. She rushed out into the mall wishing she had on her running shoes. She could run for hours now without stopping. Instead, she shuffled quickly through the customers oblivious to the pain and suffering inside her. She pushed past them and went as far as the mall would let her go.

Reaching the end was the California Pizza Kitchen. Their bar. She sat, ordering tequila straight up. The bartender gave her an odd look but said nothing before returning with her drink. Without hesitation, she swallowed it in one gulp, set it on the bar, and asked for another. She waited for relief to come. She waited for the alcohol to give her that feel-good warmth in the stomach she got at the beginning of an evening out with friends. She waited for it to push away the strangling feeling of her hopes and dreams being dashed. She waited for it to give her release from the stress of the last couple of weeks and make everything okay. Of course, it did none of those things. All it did was fuel the hurt and the anger and the sorrow inside her and made her wish she was at home with her cats, where she could at least hold a pillow and sob into it.

"Hey," she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Selena behind her.

"Hey," Jennifer said turning back to the bar knowing Selena would sit next to her. This was their place. This is where they went to shit-talk Todd for making Selena work overtime. This is where they went to bitch about Cynthia for treating Jennifer like an incompetent child. This is where they also went to laugh about the shoe manager, Ralph's, weird obsession with women's feet. This is where the good times had been along with the bad. But this wasn't where they thought they would be when things were really bad.

"I'll have the same," Selena said, and the bartender returned with two tequilas. This time they sat on the bar untouched.

"Selena, I'm so sorry," Jennifer said looking away from the drink and into her friend's eyes. "I'm so sorry for what Todd did to you. And I'm so sorry for not being a better friend about it."

"You've been a fine friend," Selena said taking a sip of the tequila, making a face, and then finishing the whole glass. "There is no being a good friend in sexual harassment or assault. There's nothing you can do to fix it or make it better. All you can do is listen. And you've done that."

"No, I've been trying to force you to do something you didn't want to do," Jennifer said tears rolling out of her eyes. She didn't even attempt to stop them this time. "I'm really sorry for that."

"You've just been doing what you think is right," Selena said flagging the bartender for another drink. "That's all we can ever do."

Jennifer sat quietly, unsure of what to say next. She wanted her friend to know from the depths of her soul how deeply sorry she was, but she knew Selena already did. When women really saw each other, they all could understand what they have been through. Jennifer sighed and looked back at the bar.

"Someone told Cynthia about Austin and me."

"My girls saw you leave and told me something was wrong. It had to be Todd."

"He basically told me it was him," Jennifer said swirling her tequila. The alcohol wasn't helping. It seemed like nothing would stop the pain in her chest.

"That bastard," Selena said with a ferocity that would have made Jennifer fear for the man if she didn't hate him so much. "What did Cynthia say?"

"She said what I thought she would; I have to withdraw my name from the HR manager position," Jennifer said feeling ashamed. "And that I wasn't mature enough to be an HR manager and she wasn't sure if I ever would be."

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