Dark Merlin: The Man Called Emrys

II

MERLIN STARED AT RUELLA'S body that laid spread out on the table before him. His hands shook as he recalled what had happened; as the dream, or memory, or whatever it was, haunted his mind. He couldn't shake the feeling that this was his fault. That he was behind Ruella's death. That that's what these nightmares were trying to tell him.

"Merlin!" Merlin jumped, his head bolting towards the cry. "Have you been listening to anything I've said?" Gaius scolded.

Merlin couldn't bring himself to respond. Instead, he simply looked away.

Gaius folded his hands in front of him and took the few steps towards Merlin closing in the gap. "What's troubling you? And don't tell me the incident because I can see it's much deeper than that."

Merlin closed his eyes in thought. He didn't know whether or not to tell Gaius what he had seen, but Gaius always had the right words when he needed them. Maybe he would have the answers as to why this was happening to him. Opening his eyes, he stared at his hands. "I had another one."

"Another dream?" Gaius asked, crossing his arms to listen intently. "You mean last night?"

Merlin wrung his hands. "More like ... an hour ago." His shoulders slumped. "It's so strange, Gaius. These ... memories, or whatever, are starting to just appear out of nowhere. And the guy in the dream, it doesn't even feel like me. It's like ..." He trailed off trying to find the correct words. "It's like I'm an alien in my own body."

"What did you see this time?" Gaius continued to ask.

Exchanging glances between Gaius and Ruella, he nodded his head in her direction. "Her. I'm the one who killed her."

Gaius scoffed. "Merlin, don't be stupid. You could never do such a thing."

"Yeah, then what could this mean?" Merlin exploded. "If they're not memories then what are they?"

"They may be memories," Gaius explained, "but they may well just not be yours."

"But what if they are," Merlin snapped, throwing his hands out to the side. "Gaius, I've always feared what I could become with the magic I possess. I've done nothing but use it for good, but now ..." His hands slapped his thighs as he dropped them. He lowered his voice as he spoke, "Now, I use it for murder."

"Merlin." Gaius lowered his arms and his voice came out calm and compassionate. Like the old man ached to hear Merlin say such a thing.

The sound of boots clomping against the ground echoed in the hall from the cracked doorway drawing both their attention. Gaius gripped Merlin's forearm. "Merlin, you mustn't say anything about this to Arthur. Not until we know more."

"But, Gaius, if I'm the one killing all these people I should be locked up to keep Camelot safe."

"There's not enough evidence to prove it was you." Gaius released Merlin's arm and stepped towards the door.

"Not enough evidence?" Merlin yelled. "What about my memor—"

"Merlin, please!" Gaius whispered harshly. "Just keep quiet until they're gone. We'll figure this out."

At that moment, Uther barged into the chamber with Arthur behind him, a couple Knights at Arthur's side. "Do you have any news?" came Uther's booming voice.

"Yes, Sire," Gaius informed. He stepped back over to the table where Ruella's body lay and tilted her head to the side revealing a large gash surrounded by dried blood that cut so deep the bone was exposed. "The cause of death was blunt force to the skull that happened during the fall. The right hit at the right angle ... It fractured."