Dark Merlin: The Man Called Emrys

XIX

MERLIN'S EYES SHOT OPEN as he gasped for air. His body felt broken and weak, but he still attempted to push himself onto his elbows to escape the feeling of imminent danger.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!"

Merlin felt a strong hand on his chest and he collected his thoughts enough to turn towards the man who spoke. He looked up into Prince Arthur's azure eyes and a sudden comfort flooded over him.

"Arthur? Wha—" He glanced left to right, from Arthur to Gaius who both remained close. Gazing down, he found himself lying in one of Gaius's beds meant for the wounded. He was drenched in sweat from head to toe, and his heart felt like it was racing so fast that it could explode.

"Merlin? Is that you?"

He dropped his head back against the pillow and let out some slow breaths to calm his rapid pulse. Turning towards Gaius, he nodded and asked, "What happened? I don't remember taking the draft."

Gaius stared at him with blue eyes full of relief. "That's because we had to force it down Emrys's throat."

Merlin felt a lump catch in his throat making it difficult to swallow. He watched as Gaius's eyes ventured across the way to Arthur, and Merlin slowly shifted his gaze toward the Prince; his expression showing signs of deep hurt and betrayal.

"You know," Merlin whispered, unsure if any words had actually come out.

"How could you not tell me?" Arthur asked. "You're my man-servant, my ..." His words caught in his throat. "My friend." He paused and looked away, tears glistening in his eyes. Returning his gaze, he continued, "How could you hide such a secret from me?"

"Arthur ..." Merlin found it hard to speak. Arthur turned away crossing his arms, and Merlin's throat grew tight as tears trickled down his temples. He had never wanted Arthur to find out in such a way. He had always wanted to be the one to tell him, but that had been stolen from him by his other half; the half that he was finally free from and yet his actions would forever haunt him.

Pushing himself all the way up, he grimaced. He didn't feel much like he had inside his mind during his battle with Emrys, so his soreness lead him to believe Emrys must've obtained these injuries on his own. He swung his legs over the side of the bed facing Arthur and he hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, a hand pressed to his side.

Finding the courage to speak, he tried again, "You must understand why I never told you." He looked up and stared at the back of Arthur's blonde head. "Uther would've had me executed."

"And if he had, we wouldn't be in this mess. It would've taken care of you and Emrys." There was a long pause. "And now I don't know what to do with you," Arthur said below his breath, dropping his crossed arms down to his side. He turned about an inch around, glancing at Merlin from over his shoulder and his next words were filled with much sorrow. "I thought I knew you."

Merlin felt the color drain from his face as Arthur's words pierced him sharper then any sword ever could. "I'm still the same person," he said with a grin. "I'm still your friend."

"I—" Arthur cut himself off and glanced away for a brief moment. "I trusted you."

Merlin didn't know what to say. The only thing he could think of was, "I'm sorry," but he knew sorry would never be enough. He pushed himself to his feet, cringing from the pain in his ribs.

Arthur again looked away. "I'm sorry too." He headed for the door and left.

Merlin watched as he left feeling his heart drop. Arthur, the man he would willingly give his life for, now hated him. With his eyes still focused on the doorway, as if daydreaming for Arthur to return, he asked, "What happened, Gaius? I don't remember anything." Realizing that Arthur wasn't coming back, he turned and eyed his father-figure. "It was Emrys, wasn't it? He got to Arthur."