I Envy You

03 ¦ The Cousin

Rhysand's PoV


Most people strive hard to be successful and rich. They do things even if it means of getting sick because that's what life meant for us. They have to suffer the cruelty most especially of poverty and lack of money. Kaya nga karamihan sa tao ngayon, kung kailan nakamit ang pangarap at tumanda saka naman nagkakasakit.


Someone's lucky if they were born rich. They won't have to worry about how they'll going to buy those things they need because money is already given. But being born rich doesn't mean we'll just have to sit and relax for the rest of our lives. We have to maintain it. We have to invest in something for us to gain more. At sa ganoong paraan ako umunlad noon. Ngunit naging baliktad ang sitwasyon ko ngayon. From rich to like this. I have a house, cars, servants, and company to handle... before. It's foolish of me to be fooled by someone else. Kung hindi siguro ako nagpakabulag ng pagkagusto sa kanya ay hindi mangyayari 'to.


Marahan kong hinila ang earphones na nakasalpak sa dalawa kong tenga saka naupo sa pabatong upuan na narito sa maliit na parke na kanina ko pa iniikot. I decided to at least jog for a while. Iniyuko ko ang aking ulo at nakita ang anino ko banda sa aking inaapakan. My breathing is still unstable after running pero dahil sa tulong ng malamig na hangin ay komportable naman.


Ngayon ang orientation pero maaga akong nagising para makapag jogging. It's my way of rising my mood lalo na't alam na alam ko na ang mga sinasabi sa mga ganitong klaseng orientation.


Sakto na sa katabi kong banda ay may may nagtitinda ng mga mineral water kaya bumili ako sa kanya.


I was in the middle of drinking water when my phone vibrated inside my sweat pants' pocket. Pagtataka ang gumuhit sa mukha ko nang makita ang isang unregistered number sa screen ng phone ko.


Sino naman 'to? Ilan ba dapat ang tatawag sa akin na hindi ko kilala?


Maliban sa mga kakilala ko, wala na akong ibang pinagpasahan ng number ko. Impossibleng si T. Alam kong masyado siyang busy para lang ibenta ako sa iba at alam kong hindi niya talaga magagawa 'yon ng walang permiso ko.


I just answered the call. I was about to ask who the caller is nang mauna itong magsalita.


"Hey, man! I think you're getting delusional."


I-i am what? Did I just heard it correctly? Me? Delusional? Hindi ako makapaniwala dahilan para magpakawala ako ng mabilis na buntong hininga. Tinitigan ko rin saglit ang screen ko dahil baka nagkakamali lang ako ng akala na kilala ko talaga 'to. Because if not, hindi kami close para tawagin akong delusional. Even if it's a joke.


"Who's this?" Kunot ang noo kong tanong.


"Nah. I got your attention, man." Bumuntong hininga ito tila may sama siya ng loob sa akin. "Why aren't you answering my cousin's phone call?"


Cousin? Who's cousin is he talking about? Siya nga ay hindi ko kilala, yung pinsan niya pa kaya?


"I observed her contacting you several times the other day, but you didn't answer."


Mas lalo lang akong nagtaka. Wala akong ideya ni isa man lang sa sinasabi niya.


"This is just a warning." Pagpapatuloy niya. "A body bag I've been storing in my attic is looking dusty and old. You think I couldn't take you away from your residence if I can easily track your phone number?"


That's the answer. He tracked my phone number. Kung ganoon, ano pang alam niya sa akin? Who is he? Bakit ganito ang mga sinasabi niya?


And, I don't think he's serious about the body bag. Is he trying to pull a joke on me? Right now? I don't want to be rude pero dahil sa mga sinasabi niya ay parang may kasalanan akong hindi ko alam.


Pero baka meron nga?


"Uh? Excuse me, sir? What is your name?"


"You don't want to know my name, sir." Aniya na parang nagpasakit lang ng ulo ko. I stood up facing the stone na siyang kinauupuan ko kanina. "Trust me."


Kung ganon, ano palang sense nitong pag tawag niya?


"Okay. Whomever you are, I think you should ask your cousin why I am not answering her phone calls."


I think I already have an idea who's he talking about. Hindi ako basta-basta sasagot ng tawag sa kahit na sino lang. And if he's referring to that lady who's been calling me every night, nah. Lalo na't gabi-gabi pa. I think it's just a prank. But now that someone tracked my contact details just to ask me about that girl, it seems like it's something serious already. Kailangan ko na lang kumpirmahin kung siya nga 'yon at bakit.


"Oh, shit!" He cursed. Hindi naman siguro para sa akin yung mura? "What the fuck?"

Napahilot ako sa aking panga.

"My bad, bro. Oh, have mercy man."

Now, he sound sorry. Well, that's okay. As long as it's clear. Wala akong kasalanan sa kahit na sino.


"Instead of you, I should put my cousin in the corpse bag. Ibabaon ko na talaga 'to sa lupa."


I don't really get the issue right now. Bakit ako ang tinawagan at bakit ko kailangan problemahin ang hindi pagsagot ng tawag ng pinsan niya. May kinalaman bw ako doon?


Inubos ko na lamang ang laman ng mineral water at itinapon roon sa basurahan malapit sa nagtitinda nitong tubig.


"It's alright," I said with a smirk. He says that referring to the cousin is a kind of close relationship and funny. "May I ask your name?" I maintain a calm and approachable tone in my voice. He knew how to track information. I need to act carefully. Baka kung ano pang gawin niya.


"Ulysses. Ulysses Reel De La Vega."


Tumango ako na parang kaharap ko lang ito. "Rhysand Keir Castañeda." Pagpapakilala ko na rin.


"Rhysand Keir Castañeda." Pag uulit niya sa pangalan ko. "Yeah. Jeacela told me her side story. I am sorry."


Jeacela. It's her. Siya nga ang tinutukoy niyang pinsan na laging tumatawag sa akin. "It's alright."


"Ito kasing tanga'ng 'to! Ang aga-aga pinapainit niya ang ulo ko! Someone is following her every evening tapos ayaw niya pa ring magdala ng guards."


Hindi ko alam pero isang buhay na imahinasyon ang pumasok sa aking isipan. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa phone. A woman is a woman. They will always have a power to dominate a man but something like this will give her a trauma.


"Every evening?" Tanong ko, inaalala ang mga oras ng pagtawag ng babaeng yon sa akin. "You mean in between 8 – 11 o' clock?"


"Yes. She mentioned you're at the top of her contact list, which is why she didn't hesitate to call you."


"Shit." I started walking away while still talking to him. "Is she all right?"


Right now, I know I will always have a soft spot towards women who receive inequality and something scary like this.


"Yeah. She is. Salamat naman at may natitirang utak pa siya."


Mukhang sanay silang mag bardagulan at magsabihan ng mga ganitong klaseng bagay.


"Thanks for my understanding my little sister and for my actions. Gotta go man, nice to meet you!" His last words before our call ended.


Pumanhik na rin ako pabalik ng aking dorm. Now that there is a confirmation on why this Jeacela keeps on calling me, I guess I shouldn't ignore it. Answering it might help her. At bakit ba kasi hindi na nga lang magdala ng guard. Even his cousin is worrying about him.


After taking a shower, I went to a near convenience store. Wala nang naiwan na pagkain na dala ni Manang Susan kagabi. Wala rin naman akong mga gamit panluto kaya bumili na lang muna ako ng instant noodles at dito na rin kumain.


When I check my phone, I receive a new message. Napababa ako ng chopstick at napatitig sa pangalan ng sender, tila nawalan ako ng ganang kumain.


From: Tita Madeleine

Rhysand, are you visiting today?


To: Tita Madeleine

Sorry, tita. I have an orientation po.


From: Tita Madeleine

Oh? You enrolled?

I thought you were still waiting for Aleyah to graduate.

You promised, Rhysand?!


Napahilot ako sa aking sentido. Of course I need to enroll myself.


To: Tita Madeleine

Tita, matagal na po kaming wala ni Leyah.

I think it's time for me to prioritize myself po.


They need to stop acting like this. Like I'm still Aleya's husband. Like I'm still their son-in-law. I had enough of their fuss. I'm trying to build myself again. At kung magpapatuloy sila sa paghahabol sa akin, wala na akong maibibigay pa. I had given myself before when I still had everything. But now, I only have myself.


From: Tita Madeleine

Saan kukuha ng pang tuition si Aleyah? You promised to fund her expenses so that I can focus to Elyne!
Malapit na siyang grumaduate, Rhysand!
Pwede bang magbalikan nalang kayo?


Surely they're still hoping that I can still be able to gain back my assets to cover up their expenses kaya niya nasasabi 'to ngayon. But even if had everything back, I can't go back on my words. I will never get back to her. She's done enough to make me suffer.


To: Tita Madeleine

My apologies, tita.

My parents are mad because of Leya's actions.

Pati na rin po ako, wala nang balak balikan si Leyah pero I respect you all po.

I will visit Leyah, someday


Wala pang isang minuto matapos kong itext ang mga 'yon ay sunod-sunod naman ang mga mensahe niya.


From: Tita Madeleine

Wala kang kwenta!

Sabi na nga ba, hindi mo magagampanan ang mga binitawan mong pangako.

Totoo nga.

Matapobre ang mga mayayaman.

At sa dami ng naging nobyo ng anak ko, ikaw ang lumubog sa industriyang kilakihan niyo.

Totoo nga ata ang sabi-sabi.

Bankruptcy? What a shame!


My jaw move in frustration. Hindi lang sa mga binitawan niyang salita. Kundi para sa sarili ko. Mas all ng ipinamukha sa akin ang katotohanang, naging biktima rin ako sa ng panloloko sa bagay na inakala kong may alam ako. Wala pala.


To: Tita Madeleine

Yes po, tita. Kaya hindi ko po kayang harapin ang anak niyo.


From: Tita Madeleine

Huwag ka nang pumasok sa pamamahay ko. Walang binatbat!


Pabagsak kong pinatong ang phone sa mesa. I end up staring the people outside of the store. Hindi ko mawari kung saang banda o parte ako nagkulang o nagkamali noong hindi pa ganito ang buhay ko. Kailan nagsimula? Hindi ko ba dapat hinayaan ang sarili ko sa ginawa sa akin ni Aleyah. But all I have to do is to love her and entrusted my whole life with her. Doon ba nagsimula? Kung ganon, kasalanan ba ang ginawa kong 'yon.


You're such a fucked up, Rhysand.


I just finished my noodles and went back to my dorm. I'll just brush my teeth and will leave after. Ngunit hindi ko aasahan na pagkarating ko sa dorm ay ang kama ko ang una kong nilundagan. Kulang ang itinulog ko kagabi, pakiramdam ko rin ay napagod ako sa tensyon na namagitan sa amin ni Tita kanina even if it's just a text. So, I decided to sleep for awhile. Maaga pa naman.



I did an alarm but I don't know why I didn't wake up to the sound of it. Roon ko napagtanto na naka silent ang phone nang gumising. And shit. I slept for an hour! 30 minutes lang dapat. Pressured tuloy ako sa pagprepapred. Damn! I'm gonna be late.


Dali-dali akong nag ayos ng sarili habang iniisip ang napag usapan namin ni Tita kanina. Nang matapos ay tumawag si T.


"Late ka na."


I immediately lock my door with a fast hand. "Sorry. Inidlip ko saglit. Nag start na ba?"


"Yeah. Do you want to do a community service?"


"Tita Madeleine talked to me." Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko pa sinabi 'yon. It was my fault that I woke up late. Pakiramdam ko siya lang kasi ang makakaintindi ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. Those words Tita Madeleine said to me feels like some kind of discouragement and I need to stress it out to someone. Wala nang iba kundi sa kanya na alam ang sitwasyon ko at kilala rin ang taong tinutukoy ko.


"I will make an excuse. Just be on time before this event ends."


Kumunot ang noo ko. I thought she'll nag me about it but guess not. Agad akong nagpara ng masasakyan para makahabol.


"Thanks, prez. And, Oh! One more thing."


"Huh?"


I remember that Jeacela and Ulysses. Kilala niya ba sila? I feel like I also met them before.


"Never mind."



It took me 30 minutes to get in there. Napasabak rin ako sa matinding traffic kaya ganon. I am already inside of the venue at sobrang tahimik banda rito sa pinakalikod kung saan medyo madilim. Ang mga upuan ay naroon sa gitnang bahagi na pinunan ng estydyante malapit sa stage. I have seen our area but I'm not sure if there's still a space for me.


Tihana is online kaya naman agad ko 'tong chinat kung may upuan pa ba doon. Ayokong lumapit doon nang hindi sigurado.


Tihana: None. Mag hintay ka nalang sa may bleachers. Tawagan mo nalang ako pag magsisi alisan na ang mga students. Baka makalimutan kita.


Me: Ouch


I shook my head in disbelief. Nakiupo na lang ako malapit sa ibang students na hindi ko kilala. May ilang vacant seat naman sa tabi nila.


As I listened to what they said the more I became sleepy again. I need to go to the canteen after this and buy at least a cold water para magising ang inaantok kong utak.