I Envy You

07 ¦ Just A Friend

Rhysand's Point Of View


Guess I found a new friend. I just didn't expect it would be a girl. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Hindi ko lang inaasahan na may kakailangan ng tulong ko pag-uwi dito.


Tihana came this morning to spend time with our section before our classes starts. We only have limited time left. Kahapon lang in-announce ang tungol sa performance at hindi kami nagkaroon ng pag-uusap dahil hindi handa. Ngayon lang.


We couldn't came up with ideas about our performance. May mga naisip rin naman ako pero tila kinulang ako sa sipag magsalita ngayon.


I listed those students who can sing ayon sa sinabi ni Tihana. While I also listed those who can dance and act.


Tumingin ako kay Tihana na siyang nakatayo sa harap, nag-iisip. Parehong nakalagay ang kamay nito sa bewang.


"Rhy."


Lumapit agad ako dito nang ibalandra ang kamay. I gave her the paper so she can check it.


"Everyone can suggest what we can do with the use of your talents."


"Romeo and Juliet." Someone suggested. Pagkatapos ay tumingin sila sa akin.


"No. Eww! Too common. So, play ang gusto niyo?"


They all nod. Tihana nodded too. "But not Romeo and Juliet."


"Uh...Cinderella? I can come up with a Disney voice... just like Cinderella."


Tumingin sa akin si T. Well, Cinderella is fine. But we need props in time. The performance will be the day after tomorrow.


"May blue dress ba kayo?"


"Meron!"


"We need a prince outfit for Kuya Rhysand!"


Napapikit ako. The thought of it makes me cringe. But I can not complain right now. What the...


"Hindi pa nga siya pumapayag." Si Tihana. Tumingin ito sa akin. "But yeah, you fit to be the prince. Wala ng iba."


Hindi na ako umangal pa. Salamat sa pagkontra, Tihana. Ang galing mo.


"Stefanie and Jomarie, kindly work with a short script and scenes." Pagbibigay nito ng gawain sa amin. "Don't worry about the prince outfit at sa ibang props, I can work on that. Hihiram ako sa ibang department. Got it?"


We all nod. Those that who can sing will be grouped together and do an Acapela. Ang mga marunong sumayaw ay pag-iisipan pa. Dependa sa kalalabasan ng script na makukuha.


"I need the script this night para maaral ko rin at matulungan ko kayo. Kahit anong oras mamayang gabi."


"Okay, po!"


"Okay, wrap up!" We all clapped our hands after. Five minutes na lang ay simula na ng klase.


At least, we came up with such an idea. Pero bakit Cinderella.


Nagtungo na rin kami sa aming klase. Most of our professors always asked what is our plans for the performance. Tuloy ay mas lalong magiging excited ang lahat. All of the freshmen will have to see it. All of the section will have to participate.


I already did Cinderella before. But that was in my 8th grade in high school under English literature. I was the Prince Kit... Castañeda not Charming. I heave a sigh. Fuck.


That means they will all see me in such... outfit. Prince, huh?


Nagmulat ako ng mata mula sa pagkakapikit nang may babaeng lumapit sa akin. Katatapos lang ng klase. She was holding a notebook and a pen. She has this shy look with her thick eyeglasses. Nagsisilabasan na ang ibang students ng room. Sinadya kong magpa-iwan para mamahinga saglit. The next class will come after thirty minutes anyway.


"Ah, excuse me?"


I shifted on my seat and fixed my hair. Tumingin ako dito.


"Ah, I heard some of our block mates. When it comes to our subjects, you excel the most... Ayos lang ba k-kung..."


"Don't worry. Just spill it. You don't have to tremble."


Ngumiti siya at mabilis na binuklat ang notebook. Roon nakasulat ang mga pinag-aralan kanina. There were lots of erasures too. She did trial and errors on those numbers. But this is accounting.


"H-hindi ko kasi nakuha yung kanina. Pwede mo bang ituro sa akin. Kahit itong dalawang example lang." She plead. Marahan kong hinila ang notebook palayo sa kanya at itinapat sa akin.


Ayos lang naman ito. Tihana said I have to wait for her. Bago kami uuwi ay dadaan na muna kami sa super market. She needs new stocks for the half of the first semester. I wonder how much would she spend on it. Baka pang isang semester ang bilhin niya o baka sobra pa.


"Kakasimula pa lang ng klase. Who told you I excel in every subject?" Tanong ko habang hindi ito tinitignan. I was waiting for an answer when I couldn't hear anything. Humarap ako rito at nakitang titig 'to sa akin. Saka lang ito bumawi at nagkunwaring nakatitig sa notebook. "So, pwedeng pakisagot ang tanong?"


"Huh?"


"Nevermind. Sa sinusulat ko ikaw tumingin."


She nod. Hindi ko na ipinaliwanag sa kanya ang sarili kong explanations. I did an outline on a new page of her notebook and write how to get the answer. I just know she will not listen even if I explain this to her. Pagkatapos ay itinulak ko ang notebook sa kanya.


"There. Basahin mo na lang. I write the easiest explanation everyone can understand." Kinuha ko ang itim na bag pack ko at bahagyang itinungo ang ulo para mama-alam. "I hope it helps."


"Thank you, po!"


I exited the room and found a group of girls outside. From being loud and chaotic, they stop talking the moment they see me. Nasa akin ang paningin.


Mukhang hinihintay nila siya. I didn't know why I went to the other direction instead of walking pass the exit way. Nang marinig na lumabas na rin ang kaibigan nila ay pasimple ko silang tinignan. They made crazy sounds as if their friend won a lottery. Ipinakita rin nito ang notebook sa mga kaibigan na sinulatan ko kanina.


"Hand writing niya 'to? Totoo!?"


"Ang linis! Ang ganda!"


"Anong tinitignan mo diyan?" Tihana's voice filled my ear. Lumingon ako rito. Ang paningin niya ay naroon na rin sa tinitignan ko. "Any problems?"


I just showed her a smile. "Sabi after thirty minutes pa ang out mo. Why are you here? I told you, ako na lang ang pupunta doon sa inyo."


"Nah. No need. Tara na."


We walk pass those girls. Tumigil ulit sila at nakita ang pagsunod ng kanilang tingin. I heard Tihana laugh.


"Alam mo ba, hanggang doon sa building namin, abot na abot ang pangalan mo."


"What?" I asked, confused.


She giggles. I just ignore it. Nilakad namin ang distansya papunta ng parking lot kung saan nakaparada ang kanyang kotse. When she called my name, hinagis nito ang susi niya sa akin. Nang masalo ay taka akong tumingin sa kanya.


"Hm-hm." She moved her index finger from left to right. "Ayoko nga mag-drive. Pagod ang kamay ko."


Naalala kong alalay niya pala ako. I just do what she wants. Sumakay ako ng driver seat. Pagpasok nito sa front seat ay ang maingay na foil agad ang narinig ko. She's taking chips outside her bag.


"Gusto mo?" She offered a piece.


"No thanks." I start to maneuver the car. Tulad ng gusto nitong mangyari ay nagtungo kami sa super market.


Ipinaghila ko ito ng cart pagpasok namin. Lumakad ito na nangunguna sa akin, dinudungaw ang mga rectangular fridge na madadaanan.


"You can get what you want. But not just cup noodles, okay?" She started talking habang nasa likuran niya ako. "Madalas na akong magpupuyat ngayon. Kapag nakakita ako ng mga cup noodles ay baka mapadalas din ang kain ko nito. It's not even healthy."


"Fine. You're the boss."  Wika ko na ikinangiti lang nito. Alam kong maghahanap pa rin siya ng kahit anong noodles. She's just babbling for her to never like the idea of getting some noodles.


Pumulot ako ng ampalaya at ilang carrots. When she saw me picking those, her jaw drop.


"I like vegetables but not these much." Ipinagbabalik niya ang mga 'yon pero ibinalik ko rin sa cart ang mga gulay. "Rhysand!"


"Hindi naman 'to para sa'yo. I thought you wanted me to pick anything I wanted?" But seriously, she needs this. Ayoko na puro meat lang. I can cook for us anyway.


"Psh! Hindi na ako magugulat kapag tinubuan ka ng ugat-ugat." Nakangiwi ito. I just shook my head with that and continue walking. She followed my pace with her arms crossed on her chest.


"So, you've met her already?" Hindi nito binanggit ang pangalan ng tinutukoy na alam ko rin naman. "I heard, sinundo mo rin siya sa classroom nila mismo."


I nod.


"And why is that?"


Hindi niya nga pala alam ang tunay na rason. Iniisip niya malamang na may motibo ako na itinatago. I know she's observing me. We have the same goal. The same plans. To finish our studies and not do stupid things. I failed the dreams we started. Now that I came back, I knew she didn't want me to trip again with the same mistake.


"She's being followed by her stalker every night."


Kumunot ang noo nito. Nakakita ako ng bread chips na inilagay ko rin sa cart.


"Is she okay?"


"No. Kaya ko siya hinatid."


Nilingon ko ito. The confusion was written on her face. I know. She's also worried.


"Was that the same girl who calls you every night?"


"Yeah."


"Shit. Sino namang stalker yan at nang makatikim sa akin?" Magkasalubong ang kilay nito. Natawa ako at tumigil sa harap ng fruits area.


"Seriously, I don't know. And the only thing I could do was to accept her calls or be with her when I had the time. Iyon lang ang kaya kong itulong."


"Kaya pala lagi ka niyang tinatawagan."


Well, I hope she will be okay this evening.


"Pero bakit ikaw ang tinatawagan? Wala ba siyang friend? Classmate or anyone else? Like... ikaw talaga? Nag-iisa?"


Umiling ako sa kanya. I don't know either. I don't have any idea why. Tumigil kami sa harap ng drinks and make her choose between non-carbonated or carbonated. But she takes both away from me.


"Rhysand, if that stalker keeps on following her, then there's a possibility na baka malagay ka rin sa panganib?"


"Are you that worried?"


"Of course! Kababalik mo lang dito tapos madadawit ka agad sa ganyan?"


I took both drinks from her hands and put it inside the cart. "That man is a jerk. Kung ganon siya kalakas, matagal niya nang ginalaw si Jeacela."


"Then what if he's just... you know... looking for a perfect timing? Kaso dumating ka. Baka mamaya ikaw na ang mapasama diyan."


"No. I will never let that happen at hindi ko rin pwedeng pabayaan si Jeacela." I stared tioa sa ganoong paraan ko ipaiintindi sa kanya. "She seek help. Wala na akong pake alam kung wala siyang ibang matawagan. She tried to reach me. And, I was given a chance to help her. Ayokong darating ako sa punto na magsisi ako na hindi ko siya tutulungan kung sakali mang may mangyari sa kanya." I sighed and put some non-carbonated drinks in the cart. "Alam mong hindi pa ako tapos sa pabalik-balik ko sa nakaraan."


Ngumuso siya at naglagay na rin ng ilang filtered water sa cart. "I know. Naiintindihan ko. Pero sana mag-ingat kayo pareho."


Ginulo ko ang buhok nito saka tumango. 


Tinapos namin ang pagpili ng mga bibilhin. Isang oras ata kaming paikot ikot dahil sa gulo rin ng utak ni Tihana at hindi makontento sa bibilhin. Yup. Hindi ko alam na pang half of semester niya lang ang lahat ng ito sa dami.


She paid all of it. I also put those things at the compartment at habang ginagawa 'yon ay nagsalita na naman siya.


"Bakit hindi siya magdala ng guards? Kung mayaman siya, then, hire some. O kaya mag condo siya na mas malapit?"


I closed the compartment and looked at her. "I think Ulysses already suggested that. But she thinks it's kind of hectic. Hindi siguro siya sanay."


"Ulysses?" Pag-uulit nito sa pangalan. "So you're making new friends now. Dapat ba akong matuwa at magp-party sa bahay?"


"OA!" Inunahan ko ito na makasakay sa kotse. Sumunod siya.


"But, hey! Anong hectic doon? It's for her own safety! Ano ba namang klaseng rason yan!"


"I don't know, T. We can't judge her."


"Fine."


Pinaharurot ko ang sasakyan paalis. Tihana got tired right when we got home at sinabing matutulog ito kaya ako ang naiwan na nag-ayos ng mga pinamili sa cabinet. I'm glad she chose cereals and fresh milks for her midnight snacks. It wouldn't be easy for her to stay late always. I need to tell her to get some supplements too.


Namili pa rin ako ng ilang cup noodles pero konti lang ang mga 'yon. I know magsasawa siya sa mga sweets. She might look for some food with MSG. Ayoko namang bumili pa siya sa labas kapag naghating gabi.


After doing those, saka pa lang ako nakapasok ng aking kwarto. I took a shower and change into new clothes. Roon ko naalala ang group chat na kailangan kong gawin.


I named the group 'Minotaur' and the first member I added was Stefanie Munoz. She's on the first list.


Rhysand: Kindly help me add the others.

Stafanie: Roger, rep!


Muli akong lumabas ng kwarto para makapaghanap ng maiinom. Wala pang isang dalawang minuto ay sunod-sunod na ang pagtunog ng notification ko.


Violet: Kuya @Rhysand, pa-accept po!


So, I did. Habang hinihintay na kumulo ang pinapainit kong tubig ay binabasa ko rin ang kanilang conversations.


Lilith: May nakaiwan ng payong at lunch box sa room. Ibinigay namin sa guard malapit sa English building, guys.

Kyori: Huy! Thank you very much! Tupperware pa naman 'yon ng nanay ko. Thank you talaga!


What? Buti at nahanap pa. Why would she left those? Lagot siya sa nanay niya kapag nagkataon na nawala niya 'yon.


Jomarie: Huy! Ano kasing pangalan noong nag-volunteer kanina para sa performance natin? Iyong magv-voice over sa Cinderella?

Sheina: @Julienne Arellano 👉👈 Hanap ka ni Jom.

Stafanie: Uy, aral daw muna sabi ni rep.

Lilith: Grabe! Love at first sight ba yan, Jom?


I sighed from exhaustion. I put the hot water into my mug with a new tea bag on it. Naupo ako at binasa pa ang ilang pinaguusapan nila.


Craig: Paki balik din po sana iyong G-tech ko. Bago pa iyon. Makonsensya ang dumampot sa ballpen ko. Hindi makakapasa sa mga pre-test natin.


My forehead knelt. I remember Tihana was holding a G-tech earlier. And he's aware that he lent it to her.


Rhysand: Craig. I remember that you lent it to Tihana while she was listing out ideas for our performance.

Stefanie: ...


They talked more about 'I-don't-know' stuff. Mabuti na lang ay may nagtanong patungkol sa performance. Janey Vee- One of our classmates asked about the plan for our performance. If it's already final.


Rhysand: As of now, I think we should listen to Tihana.


Stafanie: Speaking of Ate Tihana. Kuya, may something ba kayo ni Ate? @Janey Vee, @Lilith, @Jomari – sila rin po nag PM sa akin. Mga walang lakas na loob magtanong!


I closed my eyes with a heavy and deep breath. Here we go again.


Rhysand: We've known each other since senior high school. As I mentioned yesterday, I had to quit studying since I had to fly to New York. We're still and just close.


Lilith: Hanggang doon na lang po talaga?

Rhysand: Yes. Hindi ko papatulan si Tihana. Kahit kami na lang ang matira sa mundo. Sounds cliché but it's true.


Violet: @Stefanie gago may pag-asa ka pa.


Rhysand: when it comes to my personal life, I will no longer respond to your inquiries. Do you have any other queries concerning the performance the day after tomorrow?


May iba silang pangungulit but I didn't entertain those. I turn off my phone and sip into my tea.


Kahit ilang beses pa silang magtanong tungkol sa amin ni Tihana, there's nothing more about us. We're friends and we will stay that way. Dahil kung siya ang gusto ko, noon pa lang ay ginawa ko na. But what happened was different. I married another woman. And that was my mistake. Hindi ko lang ito sinasabi dahil lang sa rason na kaibigan ko siya at ayokong masira 'yon. Kundi dahil wala talaga. She's crazy and fit to be my best friend only. Hindi kailanman pumasok sa isip ko 'yon.


Speaking of the crazy woman. Humuhikap itong nagkakamot ng ulo habang pababa ng hagdan.


"May napanaginipan ako." Anito at umupo sa kaharap na upuan.


"Ano?"


"May nagsabi sa akin na babagsak ako sa pre-test dahil lang sa ballpen!"


Natawa lang ako rito. I told her about Craig and his G-tech. Doon ay naalala niya rin. We spend time talking about our coming performance. Nang sumapit naman ang gabi ay kailangan nitong umalis para makapang uto sa mga kakilala sa ibang department na paghihiraman niya ng props.


Good idea.