the madman
(n/a: I forgot to put this is somehow a crackfic)
— (CONTINUATION OF YOUNG ADULT MC DAYS)
"I SWEAR TO THE TSARITSA, I'LL FUCKING CHOKE YOU TO DEATH! COME BACK, DOTTORE!"
THE ANGRY PROFESSOR yelled, running to chase the escaping mad scientist. Her two heels were ready to slap their way to his face—of course, those four-inch heels aren't no joke because she specifically asked the maker of them to make the tips deadly...
"Lady (Name) and Lord Dottore are it again..."
"It's nothing new honestly... At least it's lively with her around..."
"OUT OF THE WAY, PUPS!" The Professor pushed the soldiers blocking her way, them falling at their back. "DOTTORE, COME BACK HERE! I SERIOUSLY CAN'T TAKE YOUR SHITTY ATTITUDE ANYMORE!"
"What a nosy brat," the scientist rolled his eyes before entering his laboratory.
Among the Harbingers, he's the source of her headache. There's no day when she'll never yell at him for being so annoying, which is why the Fatui soldiers and Harbingers alike are amused by the daily bickering of the two Alchemy geniuses. She kicked his door open and his segments stared at her, angry because the laboratory door is broken again. They flinched when her riding crop is vibrating rapidly as she made her way inside...
"WHERE IS HE?!" She demanded, going towards the group of his segments.
"What do you—"
She slapped the segment, earning gasps from the others, "You know damn well who I'm talking about. NOW, WHERE IS HE BEFORE I BLEW THIS LABORATORY UP?!" She demanded again, pulling his collar. "TELL ME, WHERE HE IS THIS INSTANT!"
"What's happening here?" Pierro asked, rubbing his ears. "(Name), please tone down your voice too. You're bothering my work earlier," he sighed before entering the room.
"Ask your fucking subordinate, pup!" She barked, crossing her arms. "That son of a bitch stole all my wine glass! AND EVEN TOOK MY CIGARETTES!" She complained, an obvious vein appearing once again. "DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?! AND HE EVEN TOLD ME HE NEEDS THEM FOR HIS EXPERIMENT BECAUSE HE'S LAZY TO ASK FOR PANTALONE!"
"It's just a wine glass and cigarettes, (Name). We could just ask the Regrator to buy you one," the Jester sighed while patting the fuming Professor. "Please don't yell, it hurts my ears."
"It's because you're old—"
It's now Pierro's turn to be pissed off as he grabbed the segment's neck while (Name) panicked the segment won't tell where the original Dottore went. The Fatui soldiers and other segments were trying their best not to laugh, stifling their mouths as they do so...
"PIERRO, DON'T KILL HIM YET! WE STILL NEED HIM!"
—
The Prime Dottore, Pierro, and (Name) were currently inside the Tsaritsa's room. The only sound inside the room was the Cryo Archon's impatient tap of her shoes, glaring at the kneeling harbingers and her appointed assistant. The female Professor was exchanging pinches with the mad Doctor while the Jester was waiting patiently for the Archon's judgment over them...
"(Name), what did the Doctor do to you?" The Tsaritsa asked—her focus only on (Name). "Answer at once!"
"He stole my wine glasses and cigarettes without asking permission, Your Grace!" The young assistant immediately replied, shaking from how angry she is. "It's his fault why the laboratory exploded and blamed it on me, My Lady! You should punish him instead of me!" She acknowledged.
"OBJECTION! She provoked me, Your Grace!" Dottore defended himself, pointing at (Name). "It wasn't my intention to destroy my laboratory, but (Name). She's the reason why my poor room is useless at the moment... Oh, my dear test subjects."
"SHUT UP! AS IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING TEST SUBJECTS!" She yelled, choking the Doctor. "STOP BEING A PLASTIC BEFORE I BURN YOU! IT'S YOUR FAULT WHY YOUR LABORATORY IS A MESS, SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" She added.
Tsaritsa was amused as Dottore choked from (Name)'s chokehold, trying to remove her strong grip around his neck. Pierro sighed from the chaotic duo and was not pleased by their rampage...
"Stop it," the Captain said and pulled them apart from each other.
"LET ME AT HIM, PUP! I'M NOT DONE CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!"
"WATCH ME MAKE YOU MY TEST SUBJECT, YOU BITCH!"
"I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"
—
Because of the order of the Cryo Archon, they're currently renovating the laboratory on their own. The atmosphere was too thick, that even Signora refuses to enter it, as (Name) and Dottore fixed the mess they'd caused. The test tubes exploded and some of his test subjects were injured—sending them to the infirmary...
"THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE VIALS—"
"I'M AWARE, YOU ASSHOLE!" (Name) yelled back before carefully placing the vials in a container for safekeeping. "I'll fucking throw this box and make you pay—"
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH, (NAME)!"
Their dynamic is questionable—at times, they're either laughing from a successful potion and afterward bickering on whose credits should take it. Sometimes, when the Professor was having a breakdown, he would mockingly comfort her to the point Childe even slapped him (He takes from his Mama's actions). One time, she would steal vials and hide them inside any Harbinger's office to prank him...
"Yes, pup. You need to burn this to avoid the chemicals spreading," she told the Fatui agent as she handed the box. "Be careful and kept the lid closed until you leave the building. Better remember my instructions," she reminded.
"Understood, Lady (Name)."
"Very good," she smiled before excusing the soldier. She sighed because they were not even halfway through cleaning the laboratory, "This is all your fault—OW!"
Dottore raised an eyebrow, looking at his partner, "What's up with you?" He questioned. "Ah."
A random glass shard had pricked her, a large cut to be precise. The madman clicked his tongue as he pulled out a white cloth and tweezers. She was taken aback by his actions—she was trying to remove his hold around her wrist...
"Let me go, you blueberry fossil!" She pushed his face away from her, slapping it in the process. "I CAN DO IT, YOU FOOL!"
"CAN YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND?!" He demanded, grumbling from her bratty attitude. She blew a raspberry, aware she wouldn't win against him, "Good. Just stay put."
He carefully pulled out the shard from her palm and wiped the excess blood with the cloth. She was staring at him as if he were a different person. He must've noticed the bewildered expression on her face, even though his face was covered with a mask—you could see he has a deadpan look. He immediately put the white cloth on her face, suffocating the poor professor...
"Stop staring. I know I'm attractive."
"BITCH, WHO LIED TO YOU?! YOUR GOOFY ASS SHARK TEETH SAY OTHERWISE!"
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
デイヴィス
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(HIATUS) Pup | 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡 𝗜𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗖𝗧
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