waves~ || skz Jeongin

comfort~

I shivered.

I felt weird.

The scene in Felix's house played in my head, again and again.

I had no idea what actually happened.

And I was angry - at myself. I think I hurt Felix. For no reason at all.

Coming home, I was surprised to find my girlfriend (future wife) already in the kitchen, cutting vegetables.

Jihye would usually be at work longer, but maybe she had changed her shifts again.

'Hey' I said quietly.

Her face lit up as she saw me.

I couldn't bring up enough energy to smile back.

'Hello honey' she said and came up to me to hug me and kiss me on the cheek, knife still in her hand. I took it from her.

'Oh, yeah, better that is' she giggled.

My Jihye was perfect in every way. However, she couldn't be trusted around sharp objects and her cooking skills confined to making plain rice.

It was an early agreement in our relationship that I would do the cooking.

Jihye took a step back to examine my face.

'Did something happen, darling?'

She could read me like an open book. Sometimes I hated that.

I shook my head.

I couldn't lie to her, but I didn't want to tell her what was up either, because how the hell would I explain that? I had no idea myself.

'You look like shit'

'Always nice to hear that from your fiance' I commented dryly.

I prayed she hadn't noticed how red me eyes were from crying.

'Did you cry?'

Dear gods.

'I'm alright'

'Jeongin'

'Jihye'

'Don't lie to me. You don't look alright'

'Maybe you just can't estimate that?'

I bit my tongue. 'Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude'

'Jeongin, you always get bitchy if something's bothering you'

I looked away while I felt her stare burning holes in my skin.

She knew me too well.

'I don't wanna talk about it' I finally said.

'That's okay. But tell me if I need to go to Felix and have a serious talk with them?'

I shook my head, smiling weakly. 'They haven't done anything, I promise. It's just me that's miserable'

For a moment the kitchen fell silent.

'You're miserable?'

'Forget I said that'

'Can I hug you?'

'What?'

'Can I hu-'

'Yeah'

She wrapped her arms around my torso, standing on her tiptoes so I could bury my face in her neck more comfortably.

A feeling of comfort overcame me, her familiar scent, the way her hair brushed against my nose.

I was really close to crying again.

'Can I help you somehow?' Jihye whispered after a few heartbeats.

'You're already helping me'

I tightened my grip around her.

'I love you, you know'

'I love you too, honey. I'm always here for you if you want to talk'

'I know', I said. I can't, I thought.

We stood a while like this.

Eventually, I straightened up and gave her a small kiss.

'Thank you'

I actually felt a little better.

She smiled warmly.

'I gotta go now, I'll get Harin from preschool and then head to work again'

'To work? What's up with your shifts lately?'

'Oh dear, half of our people are ill or on holiday or, I have no idea, pregnant, and now like three doctors have to keep things running'

She sighed.

Jihye worked as a nurse in a local hospital, so we were already used to weird shifts but the last weeks had been kinda extreme.

'How about you take holidays as well?' I kissed her forehead.

'Yeah or I get pregnant too' she said thoughtfully.

I stared at her.

'I'm joking' she clarified.

'Let's talk about potential future kids after our marriage, alright?'

Jihye chuckled. 'Are you okay with cooking again?'

'Do I have a choice?'

'Nope' She left the kitchen and began to pack her things.

'If everything goes according to plan, which it will definitely not, I'll be home around ten pm'

'I'll wait for you'

'I love you'

'Love you too'

I followed her in the hallway to give her a goodbye kiss. 'Drive safely' I whispered.

'I'll get Harin and bring her home in about twenty minutes okay?'

I nodded.

A few seconds later I was alone.

The warm feeling of comfort left with Jihye.

I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror.

For a splint second I saw myself staring back at me, with longer hair, full lips, bright coloured makeup.

The way I could look like when I took Felix up on their offer.

Pain bloomed in my stomach.

I shook my head, banishing the image in the darkest corner of my mind.

Felix was just confusing me.

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