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CHAPTER ELEVEN ▪▫▪▫▪
KIRA WAS BORED OUT OF HER MIND and fairly annoyed that she hadn't been part of the heist. It was a simple plan that could even have worked without Kaz's presence, and they got the map while she lay in bed and dramatically groaned occasionally.
It was the dead of night and if she was in Ketterdam it would be Kira's favorite time of the day. The darkness upon them cast by the absence of the sun was enough to hide her in the shadows of the crampy streets of the Barrel and allow her to become the Whisper she could be.
She roamed through the streets, shoving drunkards off her, and basking in the delight that it was to not have to fake a smile or flirt shamelessly instead she just robbed men blind and left them in the gutter. She would spin around in the chaos, sometimes being hit by the whiskers of rain of Ketterdam.
Was it ruthless? Perhaps. But the nights in the Barrel were nothing short of that and Kira matched that ruthlessness with all she had.
But Kribirsk? Well, nighttime in the shabby Ravkan city, was severely lacking any sort of excitement.
She didn't even feel like leaving the room she was sharing with Inej at the Inn because one look at the window, one strain of her hearing, and all she could sense was calmness.
Ketterdam was never quiet, it burned with the screams of its victims and the proud yells of its victors. Kira craved that chaos. She hated the serene silence of the Ravkan city, no matter how pretty the sunrise was.
Which was why she was glad that sleep consumed her, and let the chaos of her nightmares take over instead. They were frigid and relentless, like a wave that wouldn't let her breach the surface for the air she gasped for. Her nightmares were the punishment of the Saints, a reminder of the parts of her soul she had lost.
And as she drowned in despair, and felt cold water filling her lungs, stinging from the inside out like the hot hiss of metal against her skin, Kira felt blissful. The chaos she craved came from within. Left her whimpering in her sleep, in cold sweats, but at least it wasn't quiet, at least it made her feel something.
She woke up with a gasp, a tear slipping through her eye, one she briskly wiped away. She lay in bed for a few moments, gathering herself, and smiled. It wasn't a good night of sleep. She was far from relaxed. She felt like she was drowning. But a smile crept up her face nonetheless because even in her mind she escaped Death.
She never let herself be consumed by the shadows yanking at her ankles to drag her into the shadows of her own misery. It was chaos in her head, but it was still her chaos. She was in full control, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
•••
"Got any plans up your sleeve?" Inej asked Kaz as they gathered along the bar they had found in Kribirsk.
