In Those Deep, Starry Eyes, I See Cherry Petals Depressed but breathing

The Fourth Meeting, and Progress

Just as she’d promised, Suisei returned three days later. Her outfit had returned to the usual gray plaid skirt. Miko didn’t know if she enjoyed this one or the one from their last session more. The comet carried herself a bit taller, wearing a confident smile on her face this time. It was a welcome surprise to be sure. It reminded Miko of the joy she’d have as a child seeing the cherry blossom petals dancing in the late spring wind. The elegant woman slid onto the seat opposite Miko.

“How’s it goin’?” Miko found herself unable to control the smile grabbing at her lips and dragging them toward her cheeks.

“Not a whole lot. Only had two clients since your last visit. It’s great seeing you in good health, especially with how… tense you were last time.” There was a drop of melancholy that seeped into her expression. She looked down at the table.

“I, uh… I have to apologize for worrying you. I said some, uh, really worrisome things, and I know that, but I just say what’s on my mind. Especially when I’m in a funk like that.”

“You let out some steam instead of chopping people up?” A light chuckle escaped the bluenette.

“Of course! I lost a valiant pillow in the process, but hey, it was better to use that as a punching bag than an actual person.” Miko shuddered.

“Sheesh, you’re scary. Remind me to never get on your bad side.” Suisei, for all her worth, looked like she wanted to retort. Instead, she just placed her arms on her side of the stand and leaned her head against it. Her crystal blue eyes bore deep into Miko’s emeralds, the shrine maiden shying back slightly from the gaze.

“Y’know, that’s no way to be talking to a cli-ent.” She separated the syllables, lilting her voice at the very end and sending Miko’s brain into a flurry. What was happening right now? Suisei’s gentle laughter snapped her out of her daze, eyes snapping to the bluenette’s head buried in her arms as she guffawed away. When her fit was finally over, she leaned back, a slight red coloring her otherwise fair cheeks. Her eyes sparkled, galaxies swirling in those starry spheres, yet deep behind those clouds of plasma lay a black void which sucked up the light from its foreground.

“Um, so what can I help you with today?!” The cherry-haired woman pretended her voice hadn’t cracked like a pubescent schoolboy just now. To her massive relief, Suisei decided to follow her lead and ignored the blunder as well.

“Well, I figured I’d tell you something that I realized.” Miko’s blush vanished, completely replaced by the desire to hear what breakthrough Suisei had experienced. “I realized… a large part of this ball of hate I feel for everything… is because nobody’s ever looked at me.” Miko was dumbfounded by that seemingly incorrect statement.

“I’m… looking at you right now, though?” Suisei’s sharp eyes locked onto hers.

“And what do you see?” At that moment, Miko could only think of a few words.

“I see you.” Cliché, absolutely. Was it true, though? Without a doubt. Suisei smiled, weak and fragile.

“Is it me that you’re seeing, or is it the me that I’m letting you see?” They stared deep into each others’ souls, or in Miko’s case, stared into the void where Suisei’s soul should have been. The book that was Suisei begged for her to read it, only to present the shrine maiden with empty pages with splotches of black ink splattered all over. No sense of logic, only a wall to prevent anyone from seeing the true contents that it held on its sheets. Suisei leaned in close, her words coming as nothing more than a whisper on her lips. “Maybe you’re not seeing the real me at all.”

Suisei’s eyes bore into her. Her breath started growing shallow, and while she moved back from the comet’s proximity, her brain screamed for some reason to move closer, of all things. Her eyes probably had those frazzled spirals that anime protagonists had when their crushes confessed to them. She tried her hardest to ignore the blush that was burning her face and ears.

“I… um, I mean- I can…” She stopped before she could embarrass herself even further. Suisei let up the pressure, backing away slightly, arms still against the stand. It was enough to allow Miko her facilities to get a response out that wasn’t a sputtering, blubbering mess. “I’d like to see the real you, if you’re not showing it to me yet…” Her declaration was framed in a way that would make logical sense. It wasn’t that she just wanted to get to know this startlingly beautiful woman more, that was only a coincidence. It was because she was a client. Yeah, that’s the only reason. Definitely.

“Well, you’d be the first to willingly do that. I’d have to offer my praise if you really want to see the real me.” Miko took a breath to stabilize her pounding heart.

“Why won’t anyone else?” Suisei's glittering eyes went dark again. It hurt Miko to see those beautiful orbs full of such gloom.

“Because I’m just not good enough. They see someone who’s a hard worker, they see someone who always tries her hardest, and they don’t want to see the human behind the worker. They want to think I’m perfect, when I’m just as defective as anyone else is… They want to worship me like I’m a goddess, when I’m not even a functioning adult yet… How stupid is that?”

“It’s wrong.” Suisei’s eyes blinked, looking at Miko once more. The shrine maiden pushed forward, ignoring her trepidation and putting her client first. “That’s the worst thing a person could do to someone they admire. Nobody’s perfect.” A smile, small yet bright, wormed its way onto the comet’s lips.

“That’s… the one thing I’ve been begging to hear for the past three years.” Suisei stood from her chair. Miko followed suit, ready to chase after the woman to make sure she was alright. She simply raised her hand, shaking her head gently. “I’ll be fine. I really should go home and get a bit of rest, though.” As she walked toward the gate, she stopped, turning around and cupping her hands to her mouth. “Before I forget, I applied to a bunch of jobs! Hopefully one of them accepts me!” Miko put her hands to her own mouth.

“I’m sure they will! They’d be crazy to not hire you!” Suisei waved as she turned around and stepped past the gate.

For the first time since the comet had streaked into her life, Miko felt like she’d actually helped. She went to sleep that night dreaming of chunks of ice raining down onto sakura trees. She was oddly at peace with that dream.