It was getting colder each day. Autumn had finally made its blustery appearance, sending the green trees into oceans of flaming red, orange, and gold. Miko found herself sweeping leaves more often than she was attending to clients. It wasn't entirely disappointing considering she'd done the age-old Autumn tradition of jumping into a pile of leaves several times already. She counted that as a small victory in her favor. It put a big smile on her face.
Suisei had been very busy. She'd taken up a second job, leaving herself with little to no room. They'd call on occasion, but that was about it. It was painful, but Suisei seemed to be holding herself together well. That was enough for Miko for the time being.
"Distance makes the heart grow fonder." It's an adage as old as humanity. It speaks about how you yearn for the touch of someone you love when you can't see them for a length of time. While it may seem like the situation makes your love weaker, it instead reinforces your love to impact your psyche even more when you meet your love again. Some people believe it's hard-wired into our brains from evolution to give us the ability to recognize home and safety.
It's because of this fact that Miko was taken by such surprise one midmorning while she was at the stand.
Walking through the torii gate in her gray plaid skirt was none other than Hoshimachi Suisei. Her hair was visibly longer than when they'd last met, reaching down past her shoulders now. The comet had a swagger about her that stole Miko's breath away. She made her way to the stand, lips breaking into a sweet smile as she took her seat.
“Heya Mikochi. Hope you don’t mind me dropping in unannounced.”
“Oh, of course not! I'm more than happy to help you out."
Suisei stared at her dead-on. It was a look she wasn't familiar with. She'd seen Suisei analyze her before, but this was on a different level. The comet was closer to a bird of prey at this point, eyeing her next kill carefully. Miko found herself gulping slightly in fear. The pressure lasted a few seconds before Suisei sighed exhaustively.
"So, I… I figured something out. Or, well, less so that I figured something out and more that I finally have the guts to admit it's true." She glanced at the shrine maiden as though asking permission to continue.
"Go ahead…" Miko encouraged gently.
"So… a big part of the idol business is that you're supposed to represent this… 'pure' sort of ideal person." Suisei used air quotes when saying the word 'pure.' "You'd basically be shooting yourself in the foot if you ever got into a public relationship as an idol."
Miko nodded. She was fairly well-versed with these aspects of the culture, though there were a number of examples she could bring up in the industry who'd gotten away with it. They were, of course, few and far between, sadly. She decided to hold her tongue and hear Suisei all the way first.
"So, basically it's either live as a pure idol by keeping your relationships strictly to business, or be yourself without being open about it. I've been… thinking about what it is I want from my life, and recently I've been… having doubts about myself.
"See, all this time I've wanted to be a pure idol, someone who could make it to the top without having to compromise on anything. Well, I thought I wanted that. Recently, I've been getting these weird feelings that I've been fighting back against." Suisei brought a hand up to her chest. "It's this aching, stinging feeling right here. It happens whenever I think too hard about being that pure kind of idol."
Miko blinked several times. "So, are you implying that…."
Suisei nodded. Her face flared bright red. "I've been repressing growing feelings for… someone… recently. The only problem is that I don't want to live a second life! I want to just be myself! It's like I have to pick whether to follow my dreams and let my heart wither or follow my heart and give up on my dreams…"
That blew Miko's mind out of the water. She felt her own face growing an equal shade as Suisei's. 'She's… she's in love with someone? Who?... And why does that make me so irritated?...'
Oblivious to Miko's internal interrogation, Suisei continued. "So, that's where I'm currently at. Stuck working two full-time jobs, too nervous to fall in love and too hard-headed to let that love go away." She looked at Miko, a sad smile on her lips. "Any ideas for someone who's so lost?"
"..." Miko couldn't even speak. She closed her eyes in an attempt to reign in her wild thoughts. She couldn’t just out and confess to her client when she was in such an uncertain headspace. A thought crossed her mind, and she grasped at it for dear life. “If you’re so deep into your work right now, what’s stopping you from at least trying?”
Suisei seemed taken aback by that response.
Miko took that as a sign and went with it. “Yeah. Experiment with that part of your life you might not be able to have if you get accepted where you want to go. See if it’s worth giving up or not. Maybe then you can experience both things that you want to experience!”
Suisei looked down at the stand. She flexed her hands, closed then opened. Her eyes closed, cutting off those sapphires from Miko’s vision. Everything about her screamed a desire of some kind to the shrine maiden. Finally, Suisei opened her eyes and looked straight at Miko.
“If that’s how it is, then I’ve gotta start being honest with myself.”
Miko found herself nodding. “Of course. That’s the most important thing, to be honest with your emotions, Sui-chan.”
Suisei quickly wheeled around in her seat, glancing out toward the torii gate. Nothing was beyond the entrance, save some buildings in the far distance. She nodded to herself, standing up from her spot in front of the wooden booth. She briefly caught a shocked look on Miko’s face. That didn’t matter to her.
Her heart was stammering as Suisei stood up. The comet navigated behind the stand slowly, tantalizingly so. Miko swore her heart was going to give out when Suisei leaned down close to her ear, words flowing out like honey.
“If it’s the most important thing, then I’ll do it, Mikochi.” Suisei then stood up and peered down at Miko’s sitting form like a hawk at a field mouse.
Miko followed Suisei’s eyes up. Anything to have that silken siren’s song by her again. When her eyes made contact with Suisei’s, there was a glimmer to those starry spheres.
“I’m doing this on your advice, so don’t blame me if I mess up here.” She took a deep breath before gripping her hands together at her side. “Please go out with me, Mikochi!”
And like that, her heart nearly flatlined.
CZYTASZ
In Those Deep, Starry Eyes, I See Cherry Petals Depressed but breathing
FanfictionShrine maiden Sakura Miko can read the eyes of those she helps. They come to her seeking advice, and she happily assists. When a blue-haired woman appears with eyes she can't read, how will she be able to help? What lies in store for both of them in...
