In The Spotlight

Pin- Waiting Room

I have always and will always spend too many hours thinking of the future. I can't stop trying to predict what my life will be. So in-between times- the moments of anticipation- are the most annoying times of my life. It doesn't really feel like life at all.

But when the day I was waiting for finally came, it was better than any day I could have possibly imagined.

Two whole weeks had passed since the night in Los Angeles. I thought of all the people I'd met. Idiot, Narcissist, Adult, Shakes, Nerd.

I'd liked Adult best, which was funny because I couldn't actually remember his name. I couldn't even remember whether I'd ever known his name. He had his life together though, or it seemed like it. Some classy job- tax attorney or realtor or something.

Shakes was fun though too. Definitely a stress ball, but seemed cool to some degree. Relatively funny too.

Mostly though, I had kind of floated around. And I was still doing it, two weeks later. Floating through my own mind. I wanted later to be now. Tomorrow today.

Because tomorrow I would be flying to New York City from Austin. I would be in a filming studio with 20 interesting new people, and I would get a moment in the spotlight. Even if that was on a game show that only retired women watched.

The day went by at a painfully slow crawl. I looked at the clock several times to make sure it was actually moving. It always was, but never seemed to be.

The next morning when I woke up I could hardly get out of the house fast enough. I practically sprinted to my car and had many colorful words for the slow drivers ahead of me. And for the airport security line. And for the turbulence delaying my flight. Most things were making me angry actually.

Once I boarded the plane it was almost as bad as at home. Waiting and waiting and waiting. But at least this time I knew there would be no more waiting after this. And boy was it rewarding to see the NYC skyline as we descended into JFK.

I love New York. Although I did wish we could be a little closer to home. I suppose everyone did though. Including the scary person and their less scary business partner. When we received the email that we'd be sent to the other end of the nation, it came with an apology and an explanation that the studio that picked up their show was not in Hollywood as they'd hoped, but across the country, far away from their home. And mine.

We'd been set up in a hotel on the corner of Broadway. It was fine. Not luxury, certainly, but it had adequate accommodations and space. I knew only that I'd be with another female member of my team. Silly, considering if there was something they were trying to stop me from doing, rooming with a lady wasn't going to help.

I was face to face with the woman I'd nicknamed Prom Queen during the breakout rooms so long ago. Apparently her real name was Flower. She was pretty. Very pretty actually, strawberry blonde with piercing eyes. She was the type of threateningly beautiful that characterized a high school mean girl. She didn't strike me as hostile though.

"As long as you don't touch my plans or work, we will get along just fine I'm sure." She smiled, but she was definitely serious.

"Wasn't planning on it! How are you doing?" I asked her.

"Alright. Little nervous. You?" Oh boy, how could I possibly describe the messy tangle of feelings inside of me? I'm anxious in a good and bad way? I'm terrified but excited? Every atom in my body is jittering with anticipation?

"Same, same. You're the fashion designer, right? Sorry, not good with names or faces." I laughed.

"That's me." She pointed at herself with her thumb.