Loverboys// Tom KaulitzXreader(xBill)// Tokio hotel

7.

*in the evening*

You had a gig tomorrow so you couldn't stay awake for long. You brush your teeth in the bathroom in front of the mirror.

You lift your shirt sleeve a little and look at the cigarette marks, they hurt and stung but you still wanted to... you wanted to hurt yourself, it helped, at least as long as no one found out.

When you are ready, you open the toilet door and walk towards the balcony. You slept in your own room, Bill and Tom slept together in the next room, and Gustav and Georg slept alone in their own rooms.

You take a lighter and a pack of cigarettes from the table and open the door to the balcony. You sit in front of the balcony railing. You could have easily jumped off the railing, there were only metal bars every ten centimeters.

You look down, you saw a lot of drunk people walking under the street lamps and cars rear-ending each other... it was a long way down... if you jumped from it, it would be a hundred percent sure that you would die.

You put a cigarette in your mouth and light it.
You look at the flame of the lighter for a moment and before you realize what you are doing, you lift your shirt sleeve and start burning your arm with fire.

You bite your bottom lip because the fire burned your skin but you didn't want to take it off.

"Hey Y/n!" Georg shouts.
You quickly turn off the lighter and hide your hands behind your back.
"Hey" you say, folding your shirt sleeve behind your back and taking the cigarette out of your mouth.

Georg's room was right next to yours.
"What are you doing?" The boy asks.
You smile at him and lift a little on your cigarette.
"You and your nicotine addict" Georg laughs and leans on the balcony railing.
"What are you doing yourself?" You ask.
"I couldn't sleep, I feel like I can hear Tom's snoring all the way here," says Georg.
"I believe" you answer.

*next evening*

Your gig was about to start in 2 hours, you sit on the edge of the stage, tune your guitar, drink a coke and watch the venue being cleaned and organized.

You don't know where the other boys were, maybe looking for food.

"How does it look like?" Adrian(a fictional character in this story) walks up to you and asks. He was your band's manager.
"I don't know, it's your job to see that everything looks good, it's enough for me that I look good on stage and that the guitar works" you laugh.
"That's the only thing you have to worry about" Adrian laughs.

Finally you see the boys, they come inside the concert hall, Tom does what he usually does, which is when you're not there he stares at other girls' butts. He probably thought you wouldn't have noticed, but yes you knew that he stares at others too, you had to get used to it if you wanted to date Tom, this didn't bother you anymore, you knew that Tom only wanted you.

"Hey darling" you say to Tom, you jump off the stage and hug and kiss him.
"Hey my sexy" Tom laughs and squeezes you from ass.

"Finally everyone is here, do you remember the order of the songs?" Adrian asks.
"Yeah, yeah, we aren't kids anymore we'll be remembered," says Bill, drinking a strawberry Nesquik.
"No, or at least we (Georg and Gustav) are not, unlike you 3" Georg says to you, Tom and Bill.

*after the gig*

"Thanks to all of you!" Bill shouts to the audience. They were shouting and jumping, apparently excited.

You start walking backstage, Tom grabs your waist and kisses you, causing the audience to scream.

"Good, you played well, now go to bed and tomorrow morning at 9:00 you will go to breakfast, at 10:00 you will be ready on the gig bus and at 10:20 some a woman from Bravo magazine will come to interview you, they are apparently doing a "fun" quiz for readers about which member of the band they resemble the most, thank you and good night" says Adrian.