10 ; lies i couldn't bring myself to believe

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It was ten o'clock when my alarm clock woke me from one of the restless sleeps I had been suffering from for weeks. My body felt freezing cold as the blaring sound slowly spread through my head, making me wince brutally.

It was already light when I opened my eyes and looked out of the huge window opposite my bed.

With a heavy sigh, I brushed my hair out of my face and waited, annoyed, for my alarm clock to stop ringing.

My brown hair was absolutely tousled from the restless sleep I'd been struggling through and was still hanging unnecessarily in my face.

I still wondered why I was still chasing my father's dream, even though he hadn't been with us for several months —

But then I remembered what Jenna used to say and suddenly it felt less pointless chasing this dream.

My name rang out from the hallway and I knew it was time to have breakfast with them, to listen to the same old rant about my future.

Today was the first day after the semester break in which I had to face my friends and professors after the death of my parents.

I quickly slipped into the jogging pants I had carelessly thrown next to the bed before going to sleep last night and jogged down the old wooden stairs.

Daniel and Jenna were already sitting at the carefully laid table and looked at me expectantly.

"How did you sleep?" Daniel was the first to shatter the piercing silence.

"Fine." My voice came raspy over my lips and my throat was so dry it almost hurt.

Jenna and Daniel couldn't hear the lie in my voice and I was glad I didn't have to talk to them about it.

"Good, good." My aunt's husband mumbled, poking thoughtfully at his scrambled eggs, while Jenna gave me a critical look.

"Are you looking forward to seeing your friends again?"

With a sigh, I sat down on one of the free chairs and tears came to my eyes when I saw my parents' empty seats.

The table was far too big for the three of us, but apparently neither of them had had the heart to remove the empty chairs and get a smaller table.

"I'm not hungry." I moved away from the table a little too quickly, knocking over the filled jug of water in the process.

"I'm sorry..." With trembling fingers, I tried to pick the jug up again, but Jenna beat me to it and smiled at me comfortingly.

"I'll manage."

I immediately jumped up, not wanting to stay a second longer in this shrinking room, and closed the door behind me a little too frantically.

Breathe.

I had to take a deep breath to regain my composure.

How much longer was this all going to go on?

Couldn't I just realize that they weren't coming back?

Hot tears burned their way down my cheeks, leaving an uncomfortable feeling on the soft flesh of my face.

I felt powerless and utterly helpless.

But the world kept turning and I couldn't give the men the satisfaction of completing their work and putting an end to my life.

The walls were closing in on me and I just wanted to get out of the house, so I put on a hoodie and put my Ipad in the bag I used for university purposes.

As soon as I was out of the house and out in the fresh air, I felt less constricted, but also much more vulnerable. I had lost all protection as soon as I left the safety of my own four walls and looked around the street uncertainly.

My heart skipped a beat when Lando stepped into my field of vision.

He was leaning against the expensive McLaren, apparently waiting for me.

"Are you stalking me?"

The Brit smiled tiredly at me as he politely held the car door open for me.

"No." he replied as he closed the door as soon as I had settled into the expensive-feeling seat. "I'm just taking the lady to her university."

A smile stole onto my lips, which I tried hard to fight.

"How are you?" I tried to strike up a conversation as Lando drove the expensive car out of the driveway. He looked at me with a grin on his lips, glancing down at me before his eyes returned to the road.

"I'm feeling good," Lando sighed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. It made me feel like he was forced to bring me, like he didn't actually want to. "How are you feeling?"

I pressed my lips together, thinking whether I should tell him how I actually felt or act like everything was fine.

The second option was better, more comfortable. I wouldn't need to explain anything, I would need to talk about my feelings or my fears.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

The lie I told everyone, the lie I couldn't bring myself to believe.

But everyone else did.

𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris Where stories live. Discover now