𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris

18 ; are you okay?

Jenna had brought me to Toni. We were sat in awkward silence, for neither of us knew what to say. She had apologised for her outbreak earlier and I had forgiven her because I saw the sour expression lingering on her face. It was clear that she regretted what she did and I didn't doubt that.

But even though I had forgiven her, I got out of the car without saying another word. I didn't think it necessary to add something to the already existing tension.

Toni opened the door with a sad smile ghosting over her face. Her babies weren't in sight, which must have meant that it really was serious.

I sighed, "Are you okay?"

Her skin was paler than normal and there were big shadows beneath her eyes. She looked miserable, like she hadn't slept in days.

The young mother nodded, before she pulled me into a tight embrace that could crush my bones. It was hard to breathe with her arms slung around me so tightly, but I hugged her back nevertheless.

"What are you doing?"

Toni sniffled, "I'm hugging you."

She was emotional, which must have meant that something bad had happened.

She pulled back and I offered her a reassuring smile, "Yeah, no, I can feel that. I mean why?"

She shrugged, "Can I not hug a friend?"

I sighed as I entered the house and closed the heavy door behind me. There was a sense of more privacy inside the house, rather than outside.

"Of course you can," I faked another smile, "I missed you."

Toni's face lit up ever so slightly, but she shook her head and led me to the kitchen, where she forced me to sit down on one of the chairs, her grip on my shoulders firm.

I furrowed my brows at the woman as she sat down in front of me, a stern look on her face.

"What's wrong?" My voice was a mere whisper, barely a breath of itself as it left my throat. I had a premonition of what could have happened —

That my aunt had told her everything in hopes I would talk to her, or her nephew.

But Lando had left me with nothing to hold on, no more messages or calls that lightened my days.

Toni sighed, running a stressed hand through her hair, "Your aunt thought you would prefer talking to me."

I froze, "I prefer not talking at all."

Sadly enough, my answer didn't satisfy her. I knew that I had to talk about the incident at some point, but until this very day I had done a brilliant job to distract myself from the agony deep inside my heart.

"I understand that you don't want to talk about it," Toni began, her voice laced with sadness, "But you have to talk about it for it to get better. You cannot sit in bed and hope that it will get better because it won't. From nothing comes nothing."

I felt heat spread through my body. Even the thought of having to talk about the incident, when it was all over the news, made terror rise inside me that I didn't think for possible.

I shrugged, "Maybe I don't want to get better. Maybe I don't want to forget about the day I survived and my parents didn't."

I felt my throat tighten as the memories of their lifeless eyes' crawled back to my mind. I had suppressed it for so long and talking about it now made it feel real, like it really happened.

It did happen.

I couldn't deny it any longer. I couldn't think of it as a nightmare because it wasn't. Because the cruel reality was that my parents were dead and they wouldn't come back. Whatever goals I had set up for myself suddenly seemed to loose their matter.

"You don't have to forget, but whatever you're doing now isn't healthy. Have you looked at yourself?" Her features became bitter as did her tone, "I beg you to talk to me. If not a therapist, then at least me."

It was worth a thought. I trusted Toni and knew that she wouldn't use it against me, that she would understand what I was going through.

I sighed, "The men came inside of the store, I think they wanted to rob it..." I sighed again, running a hand through my hair to calm my nerves the slightest bit, "They stabbed my parents and after they saw that I was alive they figured that I had seen their faces, they wanted to get rid of me, too."

A sob escaped my throat that I couldn't stop. Tears were blurring my vision as the images of that very night flooded back into my mind. It wasn't something I liked to remember and having to talk about it made the ache in my heart even worse.

I inhaled shakily, "I don't know why they didn't go for something more life-threatening. I remember that the knife touched my bone because it was so deep inside my leg and I remember what it felt like when it tore open the skin. I remember..."

I gulped, desperately trying to bite back the tears that were threatening to escape.

"I remember that I clutched onto my leg, screaming in pain as they left the store, leaving me to die and I remember laying there, in a puddle of my own blood, while I stared into the lifeless eyes of my lovely parents."

I hoped that it was everything Toni wanted to know, that she didn't try to further the topic because I physically couldn't.

She stared at me with sadness in her eyes, with a trembling lip and fiddling fingers. The woman was shocked and more so terrified about what damage two seemingly harmless man could bring upon a person.

I felt the urge to throw up as the nausea gripped on me suddenly, my intestines twisting inside of me.

Neither of us said another word and frankly, I felt like there was nothing that could be said to ease my pain, nothing that could have been said to make the miserable state I was in any better.