15 ; you're so cheesy

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I couldn't bring myself to watch him leave. I couldn't bare seeing him leave me like everyone else did that was important to me. I hated myself for not saying goodbye to him, knowing I will regret it just after I left the university I was currently at.

My thoughts kept switching to him, to his beautiful eyes and how his lips felt on mine. The things my professor said and repeated, then repeated them again vanished into thin air as soon as they hit my ears.

His lips, so delicate, so addicting to kiss.

When the professor dismissed us, I felt the urge to smoke, to fill my lungs with the deadly substance. Ever since Lando left the city, I had thought about nothing but smoking and I couldn't help myself. I was drowning in the addiction that slowly crawled back to me as soon as he left.

He was my addiction for the few weeks I had known him without actually knowing he was and with him gone, I needed another one. My brain couldn't handle what had happened, that Lando left me and my parents did, too. It couldn't process that he would come back, that he didn't leave me for the better.

Just as I was about to go fucking insane, my phone started ringing in my pocket.

Lando.

"Oh hey there," He let an awkward laugh past his lips that I had never heard. "I thought you were at the university, but I wanted to call you anyways." He continued, the awkward tone still lacing in his voice.

I furrowed my brows.

Did he feel awkward about our kiss? Did it make him uncomfortable?

"It's fine, I'm on break." I sighed, running a hand through my hair while the strangers I had known for so long passed. "How are you? Are you in Bahrain already?"

Of fucking course not. It was a fucking eighteen hour flight.

"Sadly, no. I'm very exhausted though. The pressure is slowly starting to set in and it's weighting me down." Lando admitted, probably running a hand through his locks, too.

I loved his hair.

I loved how it had felt between my fingers when we kissed.

"That sucks for you."

He let a laugh past his throat, again. This time it didn't sound awkward, it sounded like the laugh I loved so much. The silly one he always let me hear when he wanted to cheer me up.

And it never failed.

"It does. I'd much rather be with you right now." He sighed and a rustle testified for him laying down somewhere. I heard him pull a blanket over his body and sighed.

I would love him to be here, too.

"You're so cheesy." I grimaced, but I didn't actually mean it. I liked the way he said whatever came to his mind, that he had no filter when I said nothing that came to my mind.

He theatrically sucked the air into his lungs.

"Well, sorry for expressing how I feel." Lando sounded like an offended child and it made me let out a giggle while I walked down the hall, trying to find a quiet place where I could talk to Lando in peace.

"Ugh, no. Just stop." I didn't mean it. He shall never stop. I loved this.

He didn't say anything.

"You weren't on social media today, were you?"

I furrowed my brows, confusion settling inside me.

"No." It left my throat sounding more like a question than a statement. He made me curious with what he said and immediately, I opened Instagram.

It didn't take me long until I found the first pictures of Lando and I kissing.

My breath hitched in my throat when suddenly everything began to puzzle together.

The gazes from the girls, their whispers. It made sense now, though that didn't justify their behaviour at all.

"You there?" I shook my head to sort my thoughts. I didn't want to loose my absolute shit in front of everyone, not with their curious gazes fixed on me like I was the prey and they were the hunter.

They took pictures of me and I hated that they were so incredibly obvious.

"No. I mean yes. Yes, I'm there," I was going to loose my shit, go insane and jump at everyone that dared to take pictures of me without my consent, everyone that dared to give me another begrudgingly look. "I think I am about to loose my fucking shit. Can't even fucking kiss without being stalked? What the actual fuck? Are the fans so fucking sick? What the fuck is wrong with them? Oh, fuck. This is bad. This is so fucking messed up."

Stressed, I ran a hand though my hair. The girls were still taking pictures of me, most likely thinking I was talking to Lando.

And they weren't wrong.

"I need to get you a dictionary. Like seriously, why don't you swear properly?" Lando laughed at me and I wanted to punch him in the face. How could he be so relaxed about something like that? Being photographed in such an intimate moment.

"This is not the right moment, Lando! I know how to fucking swear!"

I pushed the air out of my lungs a little too harsh, for I felt them burn from the sudden exhalation.

"You obviously don't, but that's fine," He sassed, most likely giving me an amused grin like he always did whenever I started to swear. "I didn't think it was that serious. I didn't think much of kissing you —"

I interrupted him.

He didn't think much of it? It meant nothing?

"Yeah, right. I need to go now." Without waiting for an answer, I hung up. My feelings were playing dirty tricks on me and I hated that. I hated how much it affected me that he had thought nothing of kissing me.

Perhaps, it didn't mean that much to him. Not as much as it meant for me.

How can he even say that? How can he hurt my feelings like that? Like it was nothing? Like it was something he did on a daily basis?

I wanted to punch him in the face even more now.

How can he gift me such an intimate moment and think nothing of it?

𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris Where stories live. Discover now