11 ; what, you have never smoked?

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Everyone was staring. Everyone was staring at me when I walked through the big wooden doors and I couldn't tell if they did it because of me or because of the expensive McLaren I had arrived with.

They tried to tear their gazes from me, but they couldn't. They were staring shamelessly and most of them weren't even trying to hide it.

I walked through the halls as fast as I could, desperate to get this over with. The day hadn't even started yet and I had a meltdown, on the verge of the second. I tapped my fingers, thought of Lando and our short conversation to distract myself and fortunately it made the fear rush off.

"Hey," I flinched when an unknown voice came from my right side, as I hadn't expected it at all. "I'm Mark, it's nice to finally meet you. Everyone's been ranting about you —"

I sighed.

"Oh, not emphatic. Sorry." He stopped himself from rattling down what seemed like he had studied for at least a day.

I pressed my lips together and looked the man up and down. The brunette young man was wearing a rather comfortable outfit with a jogging bottom and a hoodie just like me. His shoes looked brand new, as if he'd gotten them just yesterday.

"Not at all," Nodding, I let my eyes wander up his body again. "But it's fine, I'm not made out of glass. I won't break if you touch me too harsh, so don't worry about it." I rolled my eyes, though Mark didn't seem to notice. His gaze was fixed on the splint that went down my leg.

It made me feel vulnerable, made me feel naked.

"I'm Sage, by the way. It's nice to meet you, too." It wasn't. It wasn't nice to meet him. I hated meeting new people, I hated seeing new faces but I was afraid there was nothing I could do about it.

People were still staring.

I tried to blend them out really hard, but I couldn't. I couldn't overhear their whispers, I couldn't oversee the judgemental looks everyone gave me.

I couldn't do it.

"It's great to have a friend around. See ya." And with that, he walked off.

He finally walked off.

We were no friends. Just because I talked to him for something that felt like five minutes, I would not consider him as a friend of mine. He didn't know me, he only knew what had happened the day I lost my parents.

Just like everyone else.

They knew what happened the day I had lost myself, they knew everything and nothing at once.

I pulled out my phone and considered calling Lando, but he probably had better things to do so I texted him.

Give me a reason to stay.

I will pick you up after. :)

A smile came to my lips before I could fight it, but I didn't want to fight it. It felt amazing, having someone that took care of you.

I couldn't help but wonder what Lando had planned all day. I was sitting in one of my last periods and I was still thinking of something we would do —

But no matter how hard I thought, no matter how hard I tried to think of something, nothing came into my mind.

So, when the break started and I sat down on the bench in the park, I couldn't help myself. I texted him again, hoping I didn't disturb him with something he needed to get done.

What are we doing later?

You will see.

I hated that he gave nothing away at all, had hoped that he would rant about something or at least give me a clue. He was always too talkative to keep things to himself, but today he wasn't.

Did I do something wrong?

Why wasn't he talking to me like he did a few days ago?

I couldn't concentrate when I was halfway into engineering, scribbled something in my textbook that didn't even make halfway sense. They were single words, each of them harder to read than the other.

Someone tapped on my shoulder and I flinched a bit too hard, before I turned around to the man that had politely introduced himself to me a few hours earlier.

"Wanna skip?" He whispered to me, and though my head was screaming not to ditch, my heart told me that I needed a break, that I couldn't keep going the way I did. This was wrong in so many ways, it didn't feel right to continue the degree.

I hated it.

Hated it with every cell of my body.

"Sure."

This wasn't right. I shouldn't be alone with a stranger while everyone was in classes. I shouldn't be alone with him. If something were to happen, nobody would be there to help me.

It was illogical. It made no sense, but in my head there were sirens blaring, screaming at me not to ditch with him.

My body felt hot and cold all at once when Mark stood up and led me out of the huge room, leading me towards a place where it was quiet and absolutely not crowded. There was no one.

My heart skipped a beat and my breath kept hitching in my throat. I was tense when we sat down on the bench and he grabbed something inside his pocket —

But he just pulled out some cigarettes.

He offered me one and though I swore myself I would never get into smoking again, I took it, lighting it up with the lighter in my pocket I always kept there if someone was in need for one.

I lit it and the nicotine rushing through my body felt amazing. It felt like a rush of adrenaline, the waves of the substance rushing through me and I greeted it with open arms.

Suddenly I couldn't understand how I was able to go without a cigarette for so long.

"That feels amazing." I breathed the smoke out, pressing it out of my lungs and took another drag of it, inhaling it deeply.

I knew this was wrong, that my parents wouldn't want me to destroy my body, but I was old enough to make my own choices now. I needed to make my own experience and learn from my mistakes.

"What, you have never smoked?" Mark mocked me, raising his brows in amusement.

"I have," I sighed, running my fingers through my dark locks. "But I stopped a few months ago. My parents sent me into rehab."

I hated them for that, I hated them for sending me there and forcing me to fight my addiction that I could now feel crawling back to me.

I took another drag, enjoying the feeling rushing through my body.

𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris Waar verhalen tot leven komen. Ontdek het nu