People say these really nice things to me.
And at times I think
I should take the compliment.
But the reality of these compliment
isn't so easy to take.
"Your figure is so nice".
Now I think about this comment
when my head is over the ceramic bowl.
My fingers are down my throat
and I'm trying to make no noise at all.
"I love your hair color".
And I think about this comment
when I'm dying it again.
Because I use it as a way
to look like someone else.
But it's all just pretend.
"Your skin looks so pretty".
And I think about this comment
when I sit in my room every morning
wanting to cover it all.
"You're so forgiving".
And I think about this comment
when I should have cut off the people
who have done me wrong.
But forgiving seems easier than losing
a fake friend that I've had for so long.
"You're so kind".
And I think about this comment
because I can't stand the thought
of someone not liking me.
And I'd rather be known for being
"too kind" than feeling invisible
and nobody knowing me.
It's only a compliment.
And maybe I do think about it too deeply.
But when I know the reality to take it.
It's not so easy.
