I'd like to think that I deserve it.
I study and I work.
I take care of my family.
I know what I'm worth.
But then every time that I go
to give another chance,
love feels like a cruel movement
that people have settled to call "dance".
And I'm tired of the maybes.
Of always seeing it through.
It gets exhausting
giving the benefit of the doubt
when nobody ever gave the same to you.
And I'd like to think that I deserve it.
The gentle and caring.
But instead I'm made to feel like
more armor I should have been wearing.
I'm tired of being made to feel "crazy".
Of having a heart constantly bruised.
Tired of having the new normal being
that an open heart should be used.
Because I don't think I deserve that.
If I give you my time.
I want it returned with a priceless tag,
not with a shrug and a crusty dime.
Because it gets exhausting at times
to be so comfortable alone.
To need someone to pick up the call,
but nobody's on the other side of the phone.
"When I'm sick."
"When I'm tired."
"When I'm lying on the floor."
I'd like to think
that I deserve love just a little bit more.
"When I can't get out of bed."
"When it's months without the sun."
I'd like to think
that maybe I would still be somebody's one.
Cuz I like to think that I deserve it.
Even if I never knew what to say.
If I decided to stop studying.
If I couldn't take care of anyone today.
