heavy hearts ↻ na jaemin

❏ thirty-seven : : ❜

Ever since the moment Eunseo has walked into his life, Jaemin's despondency was unexpectedly met with her alacrity to his every attempt at isolating himself; which kept going on for a while and amidst of it all his resolve started breaking around her. The group of people he is friends with whom he was slowly drifting away from slowly started pulling him back in once Eunseo became a part of it.

And he would never admit it out loud, but back when Eunseo poured out her misery as a means to get him to feel less alone, it really had made him see her in a new light. And he would also hate to admit that he was even a teensy bit envious of her for being so trustful to be openly vulnerable to a still stranger and a little bit hopeful to think he was the stranger she trusted.

With times, he started to see her absolute eagerness to befriend everyone around her, including those who were a bit more difficult to befriend, such as himself. And for that, he would be grateful.

So when the ambience of that night engulfed the two and when she looked at him with those eyes and kissed him, it was only reasonable that his resolves would crumble.

The moment itself was eerily similar to a firework. His hesitance could only rise up enough in the sky until it fell apart everywhere, lights of colours scattered upon their silhouettes. And when it did, the rational part of him decided to come to a halt, letting the rather irrational one take over. But sometimes irrational decisions turn out to become the best.

And now she is here, in this space that only he's sharing, and she has laid her mind out for him to see and he has the choice to walk away and seal the possibility. But he also has the choice to take a leap and reach the shore that seems a bit too green for him to dull.

"Don't leave."

Two words, thousand moments of hesitation broken. Two words, and the cracks are formed in the barriers. Not yet broken, but cracked nonetheless.

Jaemin's eyes search for Eunseo's in a quest to decipher what she would do next. The perfect brown of her eyes and the slow blinks almost makes him think time was warped around them. Watching her lips twitching to form the words that will either break a smile or break a heart.

"Are you fucking with me?"

Maybe that's not exactly what he thought she would say.

The absurdity of it all makes him smile until he gets embarrassed and turns to hide his face. "What do I do with you?" He is heard mumbling before locking eyes with her once again. "I don't want you to leave," he speaks, crystal clear for Eunseo to hear.

"Then," she speaks lowly yet with a voice clearer than he has heard, "What do you want? You do have to say something."

"I honestly don't know," he says, immediately regretting once seeing the kind of shadow over Eunseo's eyes that he once saw over someone else's. "But I am not going to string you along with me whilst giving you hope."