our time - lestappen

truth

Azerbaijan GP

Charles Leclerc

It's that moment when Max Verstappen shows up at my hotel room door looking absolutely crushed that I know I will do whatever I need to do to make sure he heals from his trauma.

The break was fine. I spent time with my family which was nice, although I miss my father every day. I hope he is proud of me even though the start to the season was a disaster. I don't know of any other word to describe it except normal. Eliot didn't try to contact me either, and as far as I know he is still in the US. The Miami race week should be fun... I don't know what hell I'm going to have to deal with.

Max didn't contact me at all during the break, which made me think he was okay. 

He's clearly not fucking okay.

As soon as I open the door, he steps inside and wraps his arms around me before even saying a word. I don't know what happened that he's this distraught, but I'm beyond grateful that he trusts me enough to come to me when he needs it.

I hold him close to me and know I won't let go of him unless he initiates it. He seems happy to have someone hold him the way his family never did. It's a shame he doesn't know what it's like to be loved and truly valued.

As I think about Max and everything I now know about him, I come to a startling but true realization.

I would love him if he'd let me.

Max Verstappen

Charles holds me in his arms for some amount of time that I can't even begin to guess. He'll get sick of me once he sees I don't deserve the attention he is providing, but the non-destructive part of me will take any comfort it can get.

I pull away from him because I need him to know the reason my mind is fucked right now. This time, instead of rolling up my sleeves, I'm lifting my shirt.

"I didn't do this myself," I whisper so quietly that he can barely hear me.

I see a few emotions play out. Initially shock, then anger, then empathy. I think I can understand that thought process without asking.

"Tell me what happened," he says gently. He takes my hand and leads me to his bed, where we sit side by side once again.

"Charles, this is normal. We fight, and he reserves the right to abuse me however he wants. I had a shirt on, he hit me so hard that these marks are there despite that." I don't know how I'm even telling him all this but the words are falling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"I'm gonna say something, and I don't think you're going to like it, I'm warning you in advance."

"Okay"

"I think you need to cut off contact from your dad."

And with that, the tears I was trying so hard to hold in come out, like the bursting of a dam. I feel an arm wrap around my back and one around my chest, pulling me into a hug from the side. I don't mind him touching me though, it feels nice.

"I'm sorry Max, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"No it's okay, it was bound to happen at some point. I've thought about your idea before, but I'm so scared. He's all I have left."

"Anyone would be scared in your place. But you're the bravest person I know and I would be right by your side no matter what. I'm not saying you have to make any decisions today, in fact it's probably best you don't. But just keep it in mind, yeah?"

I shiver and curl up closer to him without saying anything. I don't think about anything, I just focus on how his arms feel around me and how much I enjoy his proximity. I know this won't last forever, so I'm trying to take it all in while I have it.