many years ago my ex and I had already broken up but we remained the best of friends.. there was a period of time that I lived with him and his friends as I had nowhere else to stay and during this time amongst housing me and all my possessions for free, cooking me my every meal, bringing me my meds and many other things I'll be forever grateful for, he used to do my nails every time I expressed I felt like self harming because I hated the sensation of the nail file and all the other silly little tools in his nail kit used to clean one's fingernails.. at the time it was like I could punish myself with an uncomfortable and distracting feeling, whilst also technically being taken care of. Before meeting him I was unaware of such nail tools or the general act of self-care. It is only now, many years later that I have found it within me to be able to sit on my apartment floor alone each night and clean my fingernails myself until every bad feeling fades away(at least to a manageable state). It's no longer punishment or uncomfortable but rather a feeling of comfort. Like somebody cares enough to take care of me. But this time it's myself. Whilst we have no contact now I will be forever thankful for him for giving me the tools and routine I needed to take care of myself now. I miss him a lot.
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MY DIGITAL DIARY : POETRY, THOUGHTS & JOURNAL ENTRIES PART TWO
Non-FictionHI LOVELIES <3 Welcome to the continuation of my first book "Poetry, Thoughts & Journal Entries" where I write at least something, no matter how mediocre, every single day! Feel free to go back & read or comment on any entries within my first book...
