Madagascar (Reader Insert)

Marty's Birthday

Marty: [Impresses his last fans by making fart noises with his arms.] Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet! Ha-ha. [Mesmerized kids are hauled away by disgusted and confused parents] Well, show's over, folks. Thanks for coming. I hope you thought it was fresh. I'll be here all week. In fact, I'll be here for my whole life. 365 days a year, including Christmas, Hanukkah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please don't forget to never spay or neuter your pets. [Sips on his beverage] And tip your cabby, 'cause he's broke.

[Suddenly a pair of shovels dig up from the ground and the penguin brothers emerge]

Skipper: You, quadruped. Sprechen sie Englisch?

Marty: I sprechen.

Skipper: What continent is this?

Marty: Manhattan.

Skipper: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York. Abort. Dive! Dive! Dive!

Marty: Hey, hey. You in the tux! Wait a minute. What are you guys doing?

Private: We're digging to Antarctica. [Receives a slap from Skipper]

Marty: Ant-who-tica?

Skipper: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? [Marty nods and leans down to listen] Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City? [he shakes his head] Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy. We're going to the wide-open spaces of Antarctica. To the wild! [the four high five each other.]

Marty: The wild? You could actually go there? That sounds great. [Before he can thank them, the four have already disappeared] Hey, hold up. Where is this place? Tell me where it is.

Skipper: (Alone emerges from the hole) You didn't see anything... Right?

Marty: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. No, sir.

Skipper: (Dives back into the hole and seels the hole entrance with his cup)

Announcer: For his final appearance of the day, the king of New York City. Alex the Lion!

Alex: Roar! Thank you. Thank you very much. You guys are great. You're a great crowd. Give yourselves a hand, huh. Thank you. [underpants flies in his face] Oh. Thank you. Oh! Well. Thank you. Oh, that's too kind. Too kind. [Shoots the undies which land on Melman's nose]

Melman: Ah! Underpants!

Alex: Everybody get home safe. Hey! Check out my Web site. Twenty-four hour Alex Cam. Watch me sleep.

[Night hits the zoo, and the staff roams the zoo with a band of chefs and groomers to relax the exhausted animals. Marty gets his hooves polished and receives a fresh patch of green grass from the chef.]

Gloria: This is the life. (Gloria receives a wide variety of fruit for her meal.)

Melman: (Melman is still getting medical treatment) That's the spot. (a chef reveals a tray full of medications and vitamins) Oh! I'm in heaven.

[Christian is taking a bath, the chef give some grass.]

Christian: Oh hello there.

[Alex seems to get the most treatment out of all the aniamls and receives mane grooming, nail trimming, and a full steak meal which he devours in a number of seconds. Later the five friends through a small party to celebrate Marty's birthday]

Gloria: Ooh, it's Marty's birthday!

Alex: Just rip it open. Come on.

Marty: What is it? What is it?

Christian: Whats in the box! Whats in the box!

Gloria: Come on. Open it up. What you get? What you get? What you get?