⌞ always the angel, never a god ⌝

⌞ thirty-two : the end of the beginning ⌝

"Je t'aime, Juju. I'll make sure to find you in everything I do and again in the next life."

_

I sat in the waiting room. Father and Mother were talking with the hospital to figure out how to get Jules back home. I had decided to sit with Dani, knowing that he had just lost his best friend. We had been sitting in silence, hoping to find solace in each other. It wasn't much but we had both lost someone close to us. And it's not like Charlie was going to come to comfort me, and I wasn't going to do anything for him.

It was silent and I tried not to look over to where he was sitting. The rest of the grid had gone back to the hospital to pack everything up. Lewis and Nico were handling Jules and I's things. They had asked and I only wanted those two. I wanted to do it myself but I didn't think I could be able to stand if I walked in that hotel room, with his stuff around and his scent lingering in the room.

I wondered where Arty was. I hoped that he was okay, knowing that he had lost his Godfather too. But I didn't know if I could offer that comfort to him. I didn't know if I could do anything other than sit here.

"Eilulia."

I cringed at the sound of Father's voice and I looked up. He was still standing at the front desk. I sat up a bit.

"Yes?"

"Come here."

I froze and Dani looked up at me, question in his eyes. I didn't want to cause a scene so I shook my head and got up. My steps were shaky but they were quick, not needing to add anything to this. Trouble was not what I needed right now. I just needed to get through the day, get out of here, and figure out my next steps.

"Yes?"

"Hello, Miss."

I looked at the nurse sitting at the desk. She looked familiar, as if I knew her from somewhere and then I remembered that she was one of Jules's nurses. She gave me a knowing smile and handed me a clipboard.

"You must sign for your Godfather and his belongings."

I took the clipboard. "Why me?"

"It was said, in his file, that it would be you."

I was Jules's emergency contact? It sounded like something he would do but I didn't realize that he had made that decision. It didn't matter now, I wouldn't ever get the answer. I just had to roll with whatever happened now. There were no answers.

I looked down at the clipboard and skimmed it, making sure I knew what I was signing before I did so, making sure I did it at every highlighted line before handing it back to the lady. She smiled and handed me a bag.

"This is all his belongings. We put jewelry in a smaller bag within this one."

I nodded, not finding the words to thank her. Father held out his hand but I refused to give him the bag. It wasn't anything he needed and Jules wanted it to be mine. I sat back down with Dani and opened the bag. I tried so hard not to look at the bloody clothes, finding the small bag with jewelry. I opened it and started to leaf through them.

There was the family crest he always wore and I took it out, looking at it. I was never a Bianchi but it felt more like I was than a Leclerc. At least Jules made me feel like I was part of the family. I put the necklace back into the bag, knowing that everything will go to the person it's written out for.

The thought made me pause my actions. I didn't know who it would go out to. I didn't even realize that there would have to be a will, which meant a funeral. All of these people coming out, who barely knew him, to pay their respects and act like they had a right to grieve. It was wrong. It was so wrong.