White Rabbit - A Criminal Minds Fic

Five

Alice had heard the door go and had stood just outside the guest bedroom listening to Ellen talk to the visitors.

When she'd got home from campus she'd gone straight into the main house, bypassing Robert who was working from home and rushing upstairs to the guest room. She pulled open the closet door and sat behind it on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest.

Since she'd made the decision to hand her folder to Dr Reid, her nerves had been playing up. She managed to control them pretty well most of the time, refusing to take medication for them as she needed to be alert and of sound mind. Medication only fuddled her brain.

When Ellen and Robert had made the decision to move four years ago, they'd purposely bought somewhere with an apartment over the garage for her. Ellen had felt guilty for not looking harder for Alice and for not being a better parent to her after their own had died, and Robert made good money in the city so a few extra thousand dollars didn't make that much of a difference to them. But sometimes, when her paranoia kicked in again, they would find her huddled on the floor in the guest room, or sat in the corner of the room; the closet door open and pulled back on itself, shielding her like it was now. Her sister and her brother in law knew something had happened to her, she'd been gone for four and a half years years after all. But Alice flatly refused to tell them what. She couldn't. If she told them where she'd been, what she'd been involved in and the things she'd seen and knew, they'd have no choice but to call the police. And she couldn't let that happen, not then. So she'd bided her time, collecting as much proof as she could to back herself up.

Alice still had nightmares, mainly about the two nights she'd spent wandering through the woods in constant fear that they'd find her before she managed to get back to civilisation and place a call to her sister, praying she hadn't moved from their childhood home. Alice had started to shake again just thinking about it. She closed her eyes and counted slowly in her head, breathing deeply in and out like she'd taught herself to. 'Get a grip girl, you're safe. You're fine' she told herself over and over.

Robert had given her a few minutes before knocking on the door to see if she was okay. She liked Robert, she'd actually confided in him more than she had Ellen. She still hadn't told him the full story, just that she'd fallen in with a bad crowd and that she knew they were responsible for killing some people. It was Robert who had encouraged her to voice her theories to Dr Reid once he'd seen the scheduled lecture on Alices campus timetable.

Ellen and Robert had been so pleased when she'd enrolled at school again. Despite having missed the last few years of high school Alice was incredibly intelligent. She tested with an IQ of 167 but she just sometimes let herself get distracted or led easily astray, something that had been her downfall when she was fifteen and in Rylon County. It had taken her ten months to actually feel comfortable enough to leave the confines of their old home to sit the required exams to graduate but once she had, she found herself becoming more and more at ease being out in public, especially once they'd moved to another state completely. She still found herself looking over her shoulder but she'd become adept at quickly scanning each room and mapping out her escape routes should she need to leave in a hurry. Ellen flatly refused to let her do what she really wanted to do though which was to carry a gun, despite that fact that Alice had applied for a permit and everything. She told her that if she found one in the house, then Alice would be out on the street.

"Ally... You okay?" Robert had called out from the bedroom door, having learnt the hard way that she needed personal space when she was like this.

"I'm good." She'd called back, managing to keep her voice steady.

"Did you hand it in?" He asked, referring to the folder.

"Yep."

"Good girl. You've done the right thing. It's up to the professionals now." He'd left her alone after that and she remained seated, hearing her sister returning from work a while later and clattering around in the kitchen.

It was only when she'd heard the front door sound that Alice had stood from her safety spot, peering out of the window to see a huge black SUV parked outside. Government issue, she'd learnt to recognise them, one of the many things she'd learnt to recognise over the years. She crept over to the bedroom door, hearing her sister trying to send them away. Alice knew Ellen was dubious about what she'd been doing when was missing, but still acted upon her younger sisters wishes to never reveal that she lived there to anyone calling for her, without Alice verifying that she knew them first. She was grateful to Ellen for that, knowing that she hadn't given her much in the way to trust her on.

When she'd heard the voice of the man she'd spent all afternoon listening to ask for her by her given name, Alice Bradley, she stepped out onto the stairs listening some more. They were asking about her disappearance and why her sister had never closed the police file and reported her as found. Alice had threatened to kill herself if they did, knowing that if that file was closed, she may as well be dead. They'd find her if the file was updated.

It was only when Ellen referred to the track marks on her arms that she spoke up and revealed herself, the man Dr Reid was with looking at her curiously.

When she asked the Doctor if he believed her and he revealed that he thought he did, her heart lifted; a weight off her shoulders. An FBI agent believed her. She wasn't crazy, although she knew all along she wasn't, she just knew that other people would assume she was. They wouldn't even begin to comprehend what she'd been through.

Dr Reid addressed her directly, a gentle tone to his voice. "Alice, I'm Dr Spencer Reid as you know. This is my supervisor, Agent Aaron Hotchner. Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"

Alice opened her mouth to respond but Ellen butted in. "Come through to the kitchen, I've not long put a pot of coffee on."

Ellen led the way, Robert and Agent Hotchner following her. Dr Reid lagged behind, waiting for Alice to step down the few remaining stairs and to move in front of him. She didn't and he eyed her carefully.

"You want to be the last so you can run if you need to right? Just like you ran when I saw you in the parking lot."

She wasn't surprised that he'd picked up on that, just surprised that he voiced his observations to her directly. When people saw her little kooks, they generally just cocked their heads and kept their thoughts to themselves.

"It's an old habit." She told him, still not moving.

"Hmmm. It's an interesting habit for you to have. Alice, I'm here because I believe you okay. But if we have a case, one that you've bought us, we're going to need your help. Please don't run out on us."

She took in the Agents words and slowly stepped out in front of him.

"I can't promise that I can help you, Dr Reid."

She'd given him the file, the starting information they needed. She wasn't sure how much more information she'd dare to reveal.

"Spencer, please. You've sat through an afternoon of listening to me ramble, you've gained the right to use my first name." He saw from her eyebrow raise that she knew he was trying to put her at ease, but he continued on. "Whatever you're scared of Alice, the FBI can keep you safe. But we need to know what it is."

She shook her head sadly but started down the hallway to the kitchen. Stopping just outside of the door, she turned to him.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be safe, Spencer."