When Does the Pretending End?

Chapter 91- I Want You

  Lucy's Pov

How did this happened I think as I watch Cris shout at his family. I watch as the sweet goofy man who danced with me only an hour ago, turn into an angry, bitter, hurt and crushed man. My body goes numb as I watch Dolores's face react to things her son was saying to her. My heart breaks as watching the pain on Cristiano's face. As much as I want to comfort Dolores, I follow Cris out of the restaurant. Dolores had her daughters. Cris had no one.

He doesn't react when I open the car door. No words leave his mouth the entire journey back to his house. I want to reach out and touch him but I know he's hurting. This is all a mess I think staring at the lights of the incoming traffic. It's going to be so hard leaving them on Monday without leaving them all in pain.

The slamming of his car door brings me out of my thoughts and I watch him rush to the front door. As I pass Zé, I just shake my head and take the stairs as fast as I could. "What are you doing?" I ask as I watch him rummaging through the chest of drawers. "I'm going to the gym" he shouts.
"No your not" I say closing the door beside me. He has spent nearly every night this week in the gym. "Get out of my way Lucy" he says. "No. You can't keep running to the gym when something is bothering you. You could get hurt and be out for weeks or finish your career" I say just wanting him to listen to me. "Move or I'll make you" he shouts.

"No you won't. Because your not going to hurt me" I says and he suddenly throws what was in his hands and grabs my shoulders. "You don't think I'll hurt you. Really. You want to find out" he says. "You won't hurt me" I say straight faced into his face. I know he won't. At least I think he won't.

"And you think you know me so well" he says moving his hands of me. "Yes I do" she says. He continues to yell and the pain he is feeling taken over my anger. "Cris you need to speak to your mother. She's upset" I say. "And what about me" he says. "Why the fuck am I even talking to you? You have nothing to do with all of this. You don't mean anything" he says.

He's hurting. He doesn't mean what he is saying.

"Cris your angry I understand that, but I'm not going to you fall out with your family over this" I say. "Oh well sorry if you think this isn't important. We all not speak to our mothers cos they killed our sister" he shouts. I gasp in shock. Did he just say that? I feel sick. How could he say that? "That was totally out of order" I say. "I'm sorry" he says. I proceed to yell at him about been a hypocrite.

"I've been here for weeks. I've seen you with your family. Forgive me if I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. Just forget it. Go to the gym. Do whatever the fuck you want" I scream grabbing the shirt and I shut the door as hard as it would allow me. I hear the bedroom door bang and I look in the mirror as the tears fall down my face. After everything. I must have been mad to be even thinking about still keeping in touch with him not to mind the thought about maybe we could have something more. I unzip my dress and begin to wash the makeup of my face. Why would he even want me I think as I un clip my hair and let it fall.

I can't be near him anymore. I throw on the shirt that I once thought I liked and I pick up bag that I had left behind the door. I open the door and start to throw my clothes into the bag. "What are you doing?" the voice I don't want to hear asks. I jump. I thought he had left?

"What does it look like?" I shout turning back my attention to picking my clothes. "Stop that" I hear him say and before I know it he's standing beside me.

"Just get out. Go to the gym. Go find someone else to shout at. Go somewhere anywhere but here" I shout turning away from him. He calls my name and touches my shoulders. "After everything I've done for you. You just. Just leave. Find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Come the morning, I'm gone. You can explain to your family. That's if there are even speaking to you" I mumble trying to stop the tears. He turns me towards him and I throw the bag at his feet. "Please don't cry" he begs and pulls me to him and even though I first fight against his touch, I cave in. "I never want to make you cry" he whispers holding me tight and I cry and cry.