Lost + Found [Bucky Barnes] ✓

Epilogue

It's been seven months since I've seen James Buchanan Barnes.

Sucks to hear, doesn't it? Yeah. It sucks for me too.

My sister died, my work was literally blown to shit, my entire life was disassembled before my very eyes and the one thing that kept me sane. The one thing I was starting to rely on as a constant...disappeared.

I wanted to be mad at him, but I couldn't. Believe me, I tried.

First, I spent about a few days in denial. I thought they were lying to me, that something was wrong - that they were keeping him from me. I even went off on Stark, blaming him for the whole situation, screaming that he was keeping him from us. I couldn't and wouldn't accept that he left me.

Then I was pissed. Not like the normal kind of anger when you're just kinda mad, but the big 'this shit is worse than a volcano' angry. Everyone avoided me. I was in the medical wing of the Avengers facility for quite a while, recovering from the injuries that covered a large portion of my body - including some nasty internal bruising - and I hated the entire world.

My life, my sister, and my love were all ripped away from me one-by-one, so...I think I had a good excuse.

About two weeks after that, I fell into a depression like nothing I'd ever experienced before. They tried to get me out of the room assigned to me, but I refused to go anywhere. My mom visited, T'Challa, even S'yan - which, truthfully, definitely didn't go very well - but I wouldn't have any of it. Eventually Natasha managed to get me off my ass and into the training center, allowing me to focus my pent-up emotions on learning how to defend myself. She continued to teach me the same way Bucky did - focusing on disarming and defending myself with non-lethal force - while I worked with Vision on controlling my other abilities.

Eventually, Tony offered me a spot with the Avengers. They didn't want me to leave, especially considering Magnus and Restitution were still out there, and I knew they were right, so I stayed. Instead of taking an active combat role, they taught me how to fly the jet, operate tech, and do a lot of support roles in the field so I wouldn't be forced to use my abilities any more than necessary. I had no problem healing people, which made me an invaluable asset in the field, but I refuse to hurt anyone. It's just...I can't.

Little do they know, the only reason I stayed with them was to use their technology. Well, Tony probably knows, but I don't think he cares. Either that or he's still scared of what I can do.

I've been searching for Bucky non-stop, and I finally have a lead. Steve's been doing what he can to help, but he refused to stay at the facility. He swears the rift between himself and Tony has been healed, but he's just not ready to work with us, so he's been my legs on the ground while I've provided the tech support.

Yesterday morning he called me from a payphone in the middle of Oregon, so...here I am. I've been driving the rental Toyota Corolla I picked up from the airport in Eugene for over an hour, and I'm less than five minutes away from the GPS coordinates he sent me.

Finally, I pull up to a gate at the end of a narrow road in the middle of the mountains of the Willamette National Forest. Following Steve's advice, I lock the car here and climb over the gate instead of swinging it open and driving up to the cabin.

My pulse is racing, blood rushing through my ears as I walk up the narrow driveway. It's quiet in the woods, with only the wind rushing through the trees to accompany me, and I swallow the lump in my throat as the tiny cabin comes into view.

I freeze, unsure if I should take a step forward or run back to my rental car, as a million and one doubts run through my head. Is this the right decision? What if he doesn't recognize me? What if he's still the Winter Soldier? What if he tries to kill me?

What if he doesn't love me?

Every doubt I have stabs me in the chest like a knife, ripping into my heart in a way that is more painful than any of the wounds I have recovered from over the past two months. I stare at the dirt beneath my feet, willing my legs to move, to run away, to do anything.

"Chloe?"

I look up, my eyes connecting with two familiar blue orbs that are staring at me in shock. His face is so familiar, I can't help but trace every curve and contour with my mind as if I'm committing it to memory for fear that I'll never see it again.

If I'm completely honest, I've thought about this moment a lot over the past few months. Learning that Bucky was still alive, I imagined it over and over in my mind - both waking and sleeping - and I pictured it a million different ways. I wasn't sure if I'd laugh or cry, scream at him or smother him with kisses, and now that it's here?

I still don't know what to do.

"Hi," I whisper, finally breaking the silence.

Bucky exhales slowly, "What are you doing here?"

"I, um..." my voice cracks. "Steve helped me find you."

He frowns, running his hand along the back of his neck, and my brain screams at me for being an idiot. I know I shouldn't have come here, but I couldn't leave it the way that it was.

"You shouldn't be here," he replies, shaking his head as I take a step toward him.

His hair is longer, the curtain of brown falling in front of one eye before he shoves it back with his hand. It falls into his face again, inevitably, and I crack the tiniest of smiles at the sight of it. Aside from the hair, he looks exactly the same. His ever-present stubble decorates his jawline, and his eyes stare at me with the same familiar blue. Less than three feet separate us, and all I want to do is reach out to touch him.

Instead, I clear my throat, "This is a nice place."

"Thanks," Bucky says simply.

Tapping my fingers against my leg, I force a smile, "I've missed you. We all have. Except Tony, but nobody really cares what he thinks anyway."

"Chloe..."

I hold up a hand to stop him, "Listen, I...um...I know why you left. I get it, really. Steve said you felt guilty after everything that happened, after Artemis..."

My voice trails, and I swear I can hear a bird somewhere in the trees. Taking a shaky inhale, I clench and unclench my fists tightly before looking back up at him. I need to say what I came here to say, because I know I'll regret it if I don't.

"It wasn't your fault," I blurt out, pushing back tears as I continue to speak. "It was me. It was my fault. Everything that happened, between Athens, my sister, what she did to you..." I sniff back tears, running the back of my hand over my cheeks to push them away before continuing. "I, um...I wanted to say I'm sorry."

My voice breaks, and Bucky eliminates the distance between us in a heartbeat as I turn away from him. His hand cups the side of my face, gently tilting my chin up toward him, while his other arm brushes a curl away from my face. Looking up at him, my senses are completely overwhelmed - invaded by his presence - and I can barely breathe as I drown in his azure eyes.

His lips meet mine, pressing gently at first, and I nearly lose myself as I return the kiss. The pressure of his lips against mine is soft, like silk trailing across my skin, but there is an urgency as we drink each other in, like we both want to make this moment last a lifetime. It's both innocent and passionate, and after a few moments my lungs are desperate for oxygen as he breaks away and looks down at me.

"You left without saying goodbye," I mumble, unable to think clearly as I try to regain my composure.

Bucky presses his forehead against mine, "I didn't want to say goodbye."

"So don't," I reply. "Don't leave me."

He kisses me again, this time threading his fingers through my hair whilst his metal arm wraps carefully around my waist. The remaining inch between us is gone, our bodies pressed against each other, and I loop my arms around his neck. His mouth tastes like coffee, and a smile curves up the corner of his lips as he moves away from my lips to leave a trail of kisses along my neck all the way to my ear.

"I won't," Bucky whispers. "I can't."