|ksimon| unrequited love

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//sorry for being so inactive, i just can't think of anything to write. anyways, it's been too long since a ksimon one-shot. lol but this one is heartbreaking..
credit to my best friend millypoo, sidemenace for this amazing idea! check her out she's such a talented writer like i can't even\\

word count :: 1910, i'm proud.

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    simon gnaws at his bottom lip as his ocean eyes flicker toward jj, who was approaching him from across the sunbathed car park - a coffee held carefully in each hand. a lazy grin beams across simon's face at the breathtaking sight of jj.

"hey, it took you long enough," simon says with a quiet chuckle. he stands upright from where he was leaning on his car, gleaming as it was caught in the sunset light. "i'm quite happy to throw your coffee into the river if you don't appreciate my efforts," jj remarks sarcastically in response, causing simon's grin to widen.

jj passes the steaming beverage to simon. "thanks, jiddle," he practically giggles, a smile dancing upon his lips that was so bright and warm that the sun couldn't compare.

when both are seated in the car, simon takes a hesitant sip of the coffee, pulling back all of a sudden as the piping hot drink burns his tongue. jj laughs in amusement and simon spent the next minute pondering wether jj was laughing with him or at him.

then simon felt as if he should say something, anything. instead, simon gazes at him with a  smile of sorrow; yet his blue eyes still sparkled with admiration as he looked at jj. but something held him back. that something was the knowledge that jj is straight - therefore could never feel the same way for simon.

looking at jj now, all he saw was the person who he'd spent pretty much half his life with, who knows him more than anyone. simon would never let anything as dumb a crush get in the way of their undying friendship.

but was it a crush? after all, simon had felt this way about jj for as long as he could remember. he had learned to cope with the permanent thought of jj always lingering in his mind, the rush of excitement at every little touch that lasted a second too long - and especially - the constant debate he'd have that perhaps jj had changed his mind about his sexuality and could like simon back after all.

despite the fact that almost everything jj said or did, he was a hundred percent certain about it.

simon sighs, taking a long sip of coffee. he needed the caffeine to replenish his lack of sleep and fuel his body and mind for the dull day that was to come. "you seem like you've got a lot your mind today," jj murmurs with a relaxed smile. he places a hand on simon's shoulder to comfort him. simon's heart seems to skip a beat.

"uhh yeah. just tired, y'know," he mutters with a reluctant grin. jj's dark gaze seemed to remain on simon, as if he wasn't quite convinced. perhaps simon wasn't the best at lying. he heaves a wearied sigh, gazing outside where the sun was just about gone; slowly sinking beneath the horizon and casting long shadows against the concrete car park.

when jj lets go of simon's shoulder, his touch seemed to ghost on him. if only there was something as simple as a magical button to switch off these feelings and make them disappear. but this was perfect - little carefree moments with jj, as simple as sitting in a car together with the bitter scent of coffee wafting in the air and watching the last of rays of the sun fade away. how could there be something more than this unbreakable friendship?

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