Siena (Forestfolk, Book 1)

Chapter 24b

The trek was somber and silent, the cool morning air welcome against my flushed skin. I was tired, but the pace was manageable this time. We'd retrieved our supplies from the bushes, and were now making our way back.

It was high noon when we reached the copse of trees by the stream. I flipped off my shoes, rolled up my trousers, and waded in. My eyes were on the reeds, but my thoughts were on Borga's crumpled, lifeless body. I'd killed him in a fit of rage.

Rage.

When had I ever succumbed to so much anger? Even during my time at the Zurbo tribe, I always kept my wits about me. Was I changing? Was I turning into a monster?

"Hey," Remi said from the shore. "We're going to take a nap."

I looked at him and nodded, troubled thoughts lingering.

When he saw my expression, his brow wrinkled and he waded in after me. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

I looked away. "When did I become a life-stealer?"

"Siena, you're not a murderer."

I winced at the word.

"You're not," he repeated as he gripped my shoulders. "You saved us. And them." He tipped his head in the direction of the Krat compound.

I heard his words, understood them. But I couldn't shake the image of Borga's wide eyes as I drained the life from him. As I snuffed his inner light.

"Siena."

I returned my gaze to him. His green-brown eyes tried so hard to make me believe him, and it almost worked. His soft touch, his earnest face, and his kind words all warmed me, but those glassy, dead eyes loomed large in my mind.

I turned away from him and waded to shore. "I'll be fine. A nap will do me good."

Exhaustion hit me as soon as my head touched the ground, and I was instantly asleep.

***

Pimo's grin was too wide. "You know why I don't hate you anymore? Because you're a killer now. A real Plainsman. You belong with us." He danced around me before skittering to a body not far away and kicking it repeatedly. "The weak don't deserve to live!"

"That's not true," I said, reaching for him.

He giggled and slipped my grasp. "Of course it is."

"Gotcha!" I said as I caught him. When he turned around, it was Sember I was grasping. "Sember! I've missed my little sister."

She smiled at me, and I pulled her into a hug. She squirmed and I hugged her tighter.

"Siena, stop."

"Why, you don't like hugs?"

The choking sound made me pull away and look at her. Her face was pale, eyes sunken, life ebbing away from her and into me.

I jerked away in horror.

"No!" The word wrenched out of my throat as I sat up, breath ragged.

Remi was at my side in an instant. "What happened?"

My eyes flitted around, taking in the trees, the stream, and setting sun. Sember was nowhere to be found. "Um, bad dream. Sorry."

"It's okay." He wrapped his arms around me.

I stiffened, not trusting myself.

He let his arms drop. "Siena, what's wrong? Is it your little brother? We can go back for him if you want."

I shook my head and got up. "No, he doesn't hate me anymore, but he doesn't exactly want to be with me. An Aberration. We already said our goodbyes."

"Siena, you're not—"

"We should get going before it gets darker." It was rude to cut him off, but a strange pall had settled over me, clouding all reason.

He exchanged glances with Galen before moving to pack up.

The rest of the way back, I felt myself pulling away from him and withdrawing into myself. I answered questions, but otherwise wouldn't talk. I could tell Remi wasn't sure what to do about it. Sometimes he would approach, then think better of it. Once, he did say, "Anytime you want to talk about it, I'm here." I'd given him a tight smile and continued plodding across the grass. My feelings had become a tangled mess, and the only way I knew how to deal with them was to push people away.

It was a relief when we finally reached Foresthome. I hated snubbing Remi and Galen when all they wanted to do was help. It was just one more thing to feel terrible about, and all I wanted to do was to hide away in my cabin.

When the crowds of thrilled Forestfolk finally stopped welcoming me, I dropped my fake smile and retreated into solitude. Dinnertime came and went, and I stayed sequestered to avoid talking to anyone. I didn't think it was possible, but somehow I felt worse than the first day I'd woken up here.

A light tapping at my doorway made me exhale. I was too tired for guests. "Yes?"

Sember poked her hesitant face through the heavy cloth, red hair frizzing out of her braid as always. "Hi."

A bit of my frost melted and I waved her in.

She smiled and came inside, hands carefully clamped around a plate of food. "I thought you might be hungry."

A genuine smile spread across my face. "You're very thoughtful."

I thought she might leave me alone again, but she settled into the chair, and I actually found myself pleased she stayed.

She regarded me for a moment. "You seem different."

"I do? I probably need a bath." I gave her a weak smile.

She shook her head. "You seem . . . sad."

My false smile slipped away and I deflated, head hanging. I considered telling her good night, but found myself confessing instead. "You know how bad things happen when you get mad?"

She nodded, listening intently.

"Well, I got mad."

Her eyes grew wide. "You got mad?"

I rubbed my eyes at the memory. "I . . . killed someone out of anger." The admission made me shiver.

"But it was the bad man, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't mean to do it. I lost control, and it could happen again." I glanced at her and looked away again. "I've been teaching you to stay in control, and it turns out I'm a hypocrite."

Sember was quiet for a moment, as though thoughts tumbled through her mind. "You said accidents happen, and it's okay if they do. It's what you do afterwards that matters. That's what you said."

A laugh choked its way out of me. She sounded so grown up, quoting me to make me feel better.

She smiled again, pleased at making me laugh. "I can still call you my sister, right?"

My heart melted, and I folded her into a hug. "I've missed you," I said, stroking her hair.

"Me too."

Awww these two deserve a vote.