Siena (Forestfolk, Book 1)

Chapter 25b

I fell into thought as I walked, mulling over Davin's words. Was I still the same after what I'd done? Was that even possible? What if I'd become twisted inside, how would I even know?

"Siena!"

Zelly's voice drew me out of my speculation, and I looked up, finding myself walking past her garden.

She pushed her hat back. "Just the girl I was hoping to see. Grab a stick and come over here. I think these sweet potatoes are ready."

I grabbed a smooth stick from her bucket of tools and knelt down next to her.

"I like to think I'm still young," she said as she showed me how to push the vines aside and carve around the tubers. "But working on my knees like this reminds me that I'm not."

We worked side by side for a while, and my thoughts eventually wandered to Remi. I still hadn't seen him, and I wondered if he was avoiding me. Had I ruined everything? I missed the way he made me feel safe yet unsettled.

"Zelly," I found myself wondering aloud, "what does it mean when a boy stops looking for you?"

She sat back and looked at me, her blue eyes thoughtful. "Well, it could mean a number of things. Boys aren't the best communicators. The easiest way to find out is to go ask him."

My lips twisted. Ask him. Of course.

She resumed digging and glanced at me sideways. "Remi's out with a few men to restock our meat supplies, so he probably won't be back till tonight."

My cheeks colored. Of course she knew it was Remi. Who else had I been following around since the day I got here? The entire community probably knew. My stomach twisted with further embarrassment, and I considered digging a hole in the ground big enough to crawl into.

When the sweet potatoes were all in baskets, I bade Zelly farewell and headed for the lake to wash up. Sitting on the rock rinsing dirt off the knees of my trousers reminded me of the last time I'd been here, talking to the gifted woman who seemed so wise.

"Dilla?" I called out, feeling a little silly. I didn't see her shellfish basket, so it felt like I was talking to myself.

"Yes?"

I jumped at the voice behind me and turned to find her walking toward me, basket in hand. "Oh! Hello. I, um . . ." It felt so strange, talking to her outside of the water. I didn't know what it was, like maybe she seemed more . . . intense. Or was I more intense?

"Relax." She chuckled as she noticed my fidgeting. "You're all right."

You're all right. The words echoed in my ears, and I wondered if they were true.

She set her basket down and settled on a rock next to me. "You seem to have a lot on your mind."

I nodded and looked down at my hands. Hands that could now kill. "Have you ever gotten so angry that you lost your wits?"

Her laughter startled me. "Siena, you're describing everyone who has ever lived."

"I didn't intend to kill Borga. It just . . . happened."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Wasn't that a good thing?"

I dropped my gaze, unsure how to voice my silly feelings.

"From what I heard, it was either you or Borga. I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm glad it was you."

"Thanks," I said, not quite sure what to think. She did have a point.

Her voice softened when she touched my knee. "Sometimes we have to do things we don't like. And sometimes—some might say often—we wonder if we could have done things differently."

I looked up again and saw the conviction in her brown eyes.

"The trick isn't to convince yourself it was right," she continued, leaning forward to make her point. "It's to accept that it happened, and move on."

It took a while for the words to sink in. She stood, patted my shoulder, and waded into the lake.

Accept it. Move on.

Was it really that simple?

Could it be that simple? One chapter left! :-O (Vote please. :) )