Crescendo

Chapter 3

Soundtrack for this chapter:
Daughter—Pearl Jam
A Better Son/Daughter—Rilo Kiley
The Cave—Mumford and Sons

3

Jules

Freshman arrival was quickly approaching, but I had too much on my mind to even consider getting myself ready for the new group of students.

That email to my lawyer was never composed; I choose willful ignorance over responsibility. Besides, any progress I made towards further separating myself from Will by sleeping with someone else was rescinded the morning after.

I managed to get my cab driver to pull right up to the staff housing rather than the entrance of campus, which meant my nighttime excursion went undetected by my colleagues. There was a little shame brewing in my stomach, but I wasn't sure if it was over the fact that I'd slept with someone other than Will, did something my parents would be down right horrified over, or snuck out of Theo's house like a coward.

I tried to rationalize things in my head by telling myself that men like Theo probably brought girls back all the time, by telling myself he clearly wasn't looking for anything serious and that I was nothing more than another notch in his belt; he even called me out that it was my first time going home with someone; I'd bet he got a thrill out of being my first one night stand. But that didn't stop those what if vultures. "What if he actually felt something for you, Jules?" they crooned. "What if he's hurt that you just used him for your own selfish means?" they teased. On every hunting trip I'd been forced on I only ever shot clays, but damn did I wish I had my old rifle and could shoot down those vultures.

Then, for the first time in weeks, my phone lit up with Will's name and number. All I wanted to do was sleep. I'd gotten less than four hours by making sure I could get out before the counterpart of my midnight rendezvous woke up, and I just wanted to let the feeling of breaking away from Will in every way seep in; of course, he couldn't let me do that. I answered the call with a yawn.

"Good morning, Will."

"Is it?"

Here we go.

"It's a little early, but sure, as far as mornings go, pretty good. Why are you calling?"

"I thought you were coming back after a year, after you got this out of your system."

"There's nothing to get out of my system."

He sighed and let his southern drawl take over. "We both know this is temporary. You can't ignore your family forever. As their only daughter, you have a duty—"

"The PhD program here is five years. As far as their story is concerned, they'll manage to keep up the facade they've created for at least four more years."

"You need to start coming home around the holidays. People are getting suspicious as to why my wife is absent from all the gatherings, and they're starting to talk. I've lied enough this past year. "

"Let me make something clear to you: we are separated. The titles of husband and wife are nothing more than technicalities. As soon as those papers are signed—"

"Come on. You've had over a year to sign them. Do you really think I believe you're actually going to go through with it, sweetheart? It's time to stop playing this game and come home."

My free hand balled into a fist; patronizing Will was my least favorite Will. "It's not a game."

"We can try counseling again; that would make your parents, and mine, more than happy to see us trying to work things out."