Crescendo

Chapter 26

Soundtrack for this chapter:
Beautiful Drug—Zac Brown Band
I'll be Home for Christmas—Bing Crosby*
Blackbird—The Beatles

26

Theo

Boston greeted us with an icy wind as we stepped out of the airport, but I'd take that chill over going back to Jules' hometown any day.

She was exhausted and stayed slumped against my passenger side window the entire ride back to Parnassus. Her being asleep allowed me to at least attempt to collect my thoughts. I loved her, loved her more than anything, but having her legal troubles and family issues unsettled didn't sit well with me. I wanted them done, not only for her, but for me, for us, so we could really move on in our relationship; I feared everything would loom over us until she was officially divorced.

I'd already made up my mind to talk with dad on Christmas. I knew she wanted to hold off, but I couldn't wait; for her sake, I'd keep that conversation from her knowledge, but I needed to get advice from him, I needed to see what we could do. If she wasn't willing to use those recordings—recordings that literally made me want to kill that bastard she was married to—to coerce him into signing whatever paperwork she needed, she was going to need extensive legal help, whether she wanted to admit that or not; her stubbornness was unparalleled to that of anyone I'd ever met.

When I pulled up to her building at Parnassus, I set a gloved hand on her thigh and rubbed up and down to wake her. She peered at me through squinted eyes.

"Hi."

"Hi, Jules."

She turned to her window and looked out of it. "Why're we at Parnassus?"

"Oh, er, I wasn't sure if you wanted to stay at my place or—"

"I'm just going to run in and grab a few changes of clothes, and something to wear on Christmas. I...I'd like to stay with you for a few days, if that's okay."

"That's always okay, Jules. I'll be here waiting."

She smiled at me and pushed herself out of my car. It was pretty dead on campus, which made sense given it was winter break. The stillness around me allowed me to further reflect on everything I'd learned in the past forty-eight hours.

All I wanted for her was to be free. I wanted her to be able to be the person she wanted to be, with no reservations, with nothing holding her back, and I wanted to be the one to help her reach that point.

Jules and I had this habit of pushing off any problems we were having by, well, to put it bluntly, being intimate. I think we both knew it wasn't necessarily the healthiest way to deal with our problems, but, it reminded us why were were together, because we loved each other. She's so fucking beautiful, and I knew, deep in my heart, that she was the one, so, really, when it got down to it, what did it matter if we solved our problems by showing each other how much we loved one another?

As I was thinking about the prospect of Jules and I stripping off each other's clothing the moment we got back to my house, my pants began to grow a little tight. Her reappearance at my side door was enough to snap me out of my daydream and for things to return to normal.

"I grabbed a dress for Christmas as I'm guessing we'll be going to church?"

I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she stared at me. "If you want to wear a dress, you're more than welcome to, but you don't have to. God doesn't care what you wear to church, so long as you're there."

Her bottom lip gave the smallest quivver, and I ran my thumb along it.

"Don't. Today is the start of Jules Calhoun making every decision with her wants and her needs at the forefront, okay? Don't think about anyone else, not even me. You have to start putting yourself first; you have to stop worrying about what other people want or what other people need. You've played that role for too long."